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Tasteless Humor II The Second One.

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Feb 21, 2019.

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  1. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Well, it is in the satire and humour section !
     
    Nonnie, Apr 8, 2019
    #426
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  2. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Did you know, the bodyguards of the POTUS used to shout, "Get down Mr President" during an assassination attempt.

    Now they just shout, "Donald, duck"
     
    Nonnie, Apr 8, 2019
    #427
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  3. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Sometimes, I wonder about suicide bombers...

    ...I mean, what makes them tick?
     
    Nonnie, Apr 8, 2019
    #428
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  4. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Moi621, Apr 8, 2019
    #429
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  5. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    In a recent interview, Obama said that he would consider killing himself if he ever had Alzheimer's.

    Sadly, the interviewer didn't have the presence of mind to say, "I know. You've said that already".
     
    Nonnie, Apr 9, 2019
    #430
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  6. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    WOMEN wake up yawning, with their mouths open. MEN wake up with an erection. Coincidence?
     
    Liberty Monkey, Apr 9, 2019
    #431
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  7. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Our teenage daughter was really furious again about what we named her. "I don't see what's so wrong with the name Lucy ?" I asked, "It's a perfectly lovely name."
    "It isn't when our last name is Fer !"
     
    Liberty Monkey, Apr 9, 2019
    #432
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  8. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I used to think that,
    My life was a tragedy.
    But now i realized,
    It's a comedy.

    :)
     
    Liberty Monkey, Apr 9, 2019
    #433
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  9. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Congrats on your new job Nonnie, in case you didn't know Nonnie is involved in financial services for the Fur trade and he's at the top of his game, creme de la creme.

    At least I think that's what they were saying that "Nonnie is the biggest fur king banker in England." :)
     
    Liberty Monkey, Apr 9, 2019
    #434
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  10. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him. "Are you a bear?" asked the man, surprised. "Yes." "What are you doing at the movies?" The bear replied, "Well, I liked the book."
     
    Sallyally, Apr 10, 2019
    #435
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  11. ToddWB

    ToddWB Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I remember once, a long time ago when I was much younger, walking into a random bar, at first I was surprised at how friendly everyone was, then when they started sending me drinks I got suspicious, I looked around and realized that it was only men in there (not the reason I went to bars! I've go to see women! (preferably with relaxed sexual mores)
     
    ToddWB, Apr 10, 2019
    #436
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  12. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    No need to say anymore
     
    Liberty Monkey, Apr 10, 2019
    #437
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  13. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    It’s OK, we understand.
     
    Sallyally, Apr 10, 2019
    #438
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  14. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    A man wants to become a bell-ringer, but has no arms. So he tells the priest of his wish, but the priest says: "How can you be our bell-ringer without arms?" He replied "Arms? Who needs 'em!" So the arm-less guy runs to the top of the bell tower, and starts ringing the bell with his face, making beautiful music. Unfortunately, he misses the last note, and falls from the bell tower. A bunch of parishioners gather around him, asking: "Who is this guy?" The priest says: "I don't know, but his face rings a bell.
     
    Sallyally, Apr 11, 2019
    #439
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  15. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I bet you £4,150.95 you can't guess how much I owe my bookie
     
    Liberty Monkey, Apr 11, 2019
    #440
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  16. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I only eat vegan. They're easy to catch and don't put up much of a fight.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Apr 11, 2019
    #441
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  17. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Did they push your stool up for you?
     
    Nonnie, Apr 11, 2019
    #442
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  18. ToddWB

    ToddWB Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    No fudge packing. Tho' I do need to pay someone a bunch of money to push a big shiny object with a camera on it up there.. I'm only 20 years past when they recommended that 'scopy.
     
    ToddWB, Apr 11, 2019
    #443
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  19. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Apr 11, 2019
    #444
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  20. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    \[​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, Apr 11, 2019
    #445
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  21. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    For your Colonoscopy, we'll all have drink for you, bottom's up.
     
    Nonnie, Apr 11, 2019
    #446
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  22. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Ireland has had its worst ever air disaster. A small 4-seater plane has crashed into a Cemetery.
    .
    .
    .
    So far, rescue workers have retrieved 432 bodies but expect the number to rise as digging continues through the night
     
    Liberty Monkey, Apr 14, 2019
    #447
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  23. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Apr 14, 2019
    #448
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  24. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I like that one.
     
    Nonnie, Apr 14, 2019
    #449
  25. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Mom was cleaning Junior's room one day and she found a bondage magazine under his bed.

    This mad he very upset. She put it back under his bed until his father got home and showed him.

    He gave it a look and handed it right back to her without a word, so she asked him, 'What should we do about this?'

    Dad paused and said, 'Well I don't think you should spank him.'
     
    Nonnie, Apr 14, 2019
    #450
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