The War on Men and Boys: your evidence is requested

As much as you may not want to hear it and it may be different in other areas, but America is very much a patriarchal society.

 

Our Government is subsidizing father absence. Rewarding it even. No fault divorce as well, along with financial reward for the divorce rape of men. You cannot be a patriarchy when the government is working so hard to socially disenfranchise men.

 

A difficult topic. I've written elsewhere that our society is having a difficult time with something besides finding innocence or guilt in a given situation. It is about proportionality. Canadian case: couple heavy petting on a couch at a college party. Guy pulls a rookie move sticking his finger in her vj, likely in the hopes of arousing her which could lead to sex, love, marriage, children, family, communities and nations. Instead, he is charged with rape. He gets off for B.S. reasons: she posted on social media that when she says no, she really means this is the start of negotiations. I think the guy was still guilty. Penetration without consent. I think the court was just dodging the harder question: what is a fair and reasonable response to what this guy did. 20 years in prison? We think we are so civilized with our prisons etc. I think it would have been infinitely more just to have found the guy guilty (of one of many layers of assault and battery charges) and put in a public stock for a business day. Then, let the girl sue and give her a proportionate payout. ($200?). Small claims. It would be more humane than just telling women they cannot sue for rape, which would be, IMHO, unjust. Damages are damages. It would tell sociable men that being out of line is dangerous to them too. I think it would make for a just society. We've got a long way to go till then.

 

I'm kind of surprised by this topic. I haven't seen too many men posting about this in at least 5-10 years.

If your gripe is based on a bad custody battle w/your ex, there are resources available to help you. There has been a push for quite some time to level the playing field in divorce courts in regards to child custody. You should seek their help, but don't automatically try to assume this is something all men will agree with. Each case is individual, and it all boils down to he said vs she said.

As a sociological phenomenon, yes, I agree there has been a lack of proper social structure for young men for quite some time (decades in fact), but as usual, this is primarily a class issue rather than a gender one.

 

No, my concerns include but are about far more than just what is happening in our family courts.
I am interested in what you mean by this being more a class issue than a gender one.
I will concede, while our culture appears to be at war with men and the family, supposedly, the people attacking the men and the family in our culture tend to belong to stable families. They enjoy wealth and family life while encouraging social destruction in their art:
Culture war against family and men examples:
Star Wars: Rey's parents, irrelevant. Han, dead beat dad. Guardians of the Galaxy: Quill not only has a dead beat dad, the guy murdered his mom! Thor went from the most masculine and powerful hero class character in the MCU, to a blubbering fat boy. No worries; the , "don't need no man" Captain Marvel is now the most powerful hero class character in the MCU. And Thor turned over the new Asgard to a lesbian of color. Dr. Who is not only a woman, but the 60 year old series has been retconned so that the doc was originally a female. The Last of US 2: ... spoiler: Joel is brutally torture murdered by a she hulk. TV shows and commercials constantly make men and fathers the butt of jokes. It is rare to see a competent man in them. And more.

But, what were you writing about class vs gender contentions?

 

It's also true that the segment of the male population most likely to experience this has also been avoiding marriage these days.

 

As one of the few trans people on the forum I will offer my advice and experience as having lived two different genders, and presented as two different genders.

There is no war on guys. Being a woman sucks. End of story. It's just male fragility and the idea that men stand to lose a lot if women are taken seriously for their ideas. How do I know this? Pockets. That's the end all discussion. Also if you think gender studies means anything, that's just ignorance talking. As a feminist scholar in training I can safely say, no. You don't get it and you haven't really interacted with the ideas behind it. The reason for that is because male views are privileged over female views on different ideas. This isn't me making this up, this is a serious problem in academia that plaques the profession.

 

Yeah?

 

Well, unfortunately there's some truth to this. We can see some of the issues that have popped up in the most feminist countries of the world.

It's sort of like when the country was debating giving women the vote. The major stickler to that was many men were saying if women got the vote, they'd make alcohol illegal. There were other people who told them they were just being silly, that there was no connection. But that is exactly what happened, just one year later. The men that were holding out against giving women the vote were proved right.

 

Yeah, there it's there and it sucks. Especially in the U.S. Honestly I think we wouldn't have as many problems if more women were electable in the GOP.

 

How about some trans women? Would that be okay?

I mean if most of them were trans women.

Some politicians might even transition just to further their own careers.

 

Honestly? If they were LGBT and GOP? If they did that I would worry that it's just the integrationalist people in the community. No offense to them but integrating doesn't always work and not everyone has passing privilege. That's why Gay marriage is a thing but job protections just came about and even then the big fight is on religious objections. But if they were? I don't know, I honestly don't know.

 

Thank you for raising this issue! Indeed,

-- men are constantly portrayed as oppressors by MSM and Twitter
-- men accused of Sexual Misconduct are presumed guilty (not rich men, but most men)
-- male victims of DV are more likely to be arrested then helped
-- male offenders get 61% more time for the same offense

 

If you are assaulted by your partner and prosecuted as the Primary Aggressor, you will understand that men do experience discrimination.

 

Most people who are accused of sexual assault don't go to trial and even if guilty they aren't found guilty most of the time. That's assuming the police will do a proper investigation.

 

All men in Modern Western Society have been subject to a continuum of psychological abuse.

 

That also applies to trans people too.

That's why I asked. I enjoy asking intriguing questions with difficult answers.

 

Many people lose their careers after a tweeted accusation without any investigation let alone a trial.

 

*cries in corner*, yeah, I know.

Most people are shamed into staying silent and workplace culture enables HR to avoid scandals by pressuring employees not to come forth.

 

Thank you for standing for our humanity. In Western World 2020, men are seen as oppressors unworthy of empathy. Even men who are Liberal hold such views.

 

This reminds me of a story I read many years ago, two officers responded to a call for domestic violence, and when they arrived they found out it was two lesbians.
The officers weren't quite sure how to respond, and just left.

 

And not just marriage, which I'm not neither for or against, but even dating is down among the 20-30 year olds. And it's even worse in Japan.

 

My advice is to stop whining and complaining that the world is against you and look after your own interests. This advice is appropriate for everyone.

 

I'd suggest that that kind of rhetoric is part of the problem rather than part of the solution. The simple fact is that there are circumstances where men are treated unfairly and circumstances where women are treated unfairly. There are also loads of circumstances where someone will be sure (or claim) they're being treated unfairly because of their gender when it simply isn't the case (at least not as simply or directly as they believe or say). I don't see the benefit of playing one off against the other when we could just focus on having everyone treated fairly regardless of their gender.

It's worth noting this is exactly the same as my position on the "race war" some people (from all sides) seem so keen to create.