Do you approve sex before marriage?

Ge, I'm 28 and still a virgin because I want to be in a committed relationship before I do something that I consider life changing. I don't want to feel like a slut who spread her legs for the first guy who asked me out. And if that makes me crazy, or a lunatic, then I am a lunatic who is very comfortable with her choices in life.

 

So its natural for men to use every female he can because it makes him feel special? Thank goodness you do not represent the male population.

My beliefs are not foolish. I have not expressed an intention to force my beliefs on anyone, have I? I just believe that casual sex is wrong because I happen to have a respect for sex - people who engage in one night stands have no respect for sex at all, IMO. I do not wish to be one of those people.

 

That's pretty cool, Makedde. Not everyone has that kind of respect for the act.

 

I've been having sex for a lonnng time so please don't call me a slut. Slut is a mans term for a woman who won't put out for him, but for others. And you never have to feel like a slut, never. Sorry, but you kinda got my irish up. I got called a slut in college by a guy that slept with the family dog if he could. Values are a good thing in perspective, but you need to follow whats inside you, not what was instilled

 

Sorry, but there is no respect in the act, there is only need. Respect for the act itself tends toward morality, and look how far morality has gotten us

 

Yep, as long as it's something informed, there really is nothing any prude can say to justify not permitting it for others. I actually grew up a Lutheran prude and still don't go for anything casual myself (and I've been single for most of my life to date). I'm OK with romantic dreams of monogamy with someone who's a good loving match for moi, but to each his or her own!

 

Sweet. I'm 31 and waiting to meet you.

 

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

nonononononononooooooooooooooo
no
no
noooooo!!!

 

Hehe, I may be taken, sorry!

 

Who are YOU to criticize a virgin????

You're just jealous of her, that she hasn't been duped into sex by one guy after another, after another, after another!!!

 

Exactly. I hate that women get called sluts while men are applauded for using and abandoning women. Derrrrrrrrrrp! Sexism in the extreme.

 

God, he does, he represents 98% percent. Your beliefs are your own, and they're good beliefs, just please don't let a romeo compromise those beliefs
If you'd like I will tell (in pvt) what 'a good man' did to me. Ok, way off topic, I guess. No disrespect to Honest Abe, but all men are NOT created equal, some need to be shot at birth

 

Um...stable families, lack of disease, children with two parents in the home...?

If you are beyond morality then what's up with being offended by "slut"? It's just a morality word. Wear it with honor. I said what I said to her and I said it as a non-virgin. I think it is very cool that she has that kind of reverence for the act. If you don't like it...that's just like your hangup.

 

Makedde,

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.



You surprised me and I like to be surprised. I think the fact that you want it to be special is very cool, decent, and filled with a level of integrity that my dark heart seems to be missing. I am of the "strategic holdout" club, having studied men's nature. When I hear a truly innocent person like you pony up with that level of truth I bow my head to you in this, because I'm calculating.

You shame me and I need that sometimes.

 

I hate it when people make dishonest statements so they can whine. Give me an example of men "using" women and abandoning them.

Perhaps the lack of sex after marriage is more of an issue than sex before marriage.

For men, sex is the goal. I think it's biological. For women, sex is the means for attaining a goal.

 

As they are given free rubbers walking out the door?

 

I think what you wrote is awesome! I have no problem with your choice and I think it is wonderful. This is your choice. The point I want to make is you are not trying to push your life style on others you have a justified feeling about a very personal choice that you alone made. You did not justify it because some book or mythical being told you it was wrong. Plus you are not pushing your personal choice that you have made on to others.

Sex for me is a release while I am not in a committed relationship i do not sleep around, between my job (high stress), work schedule 60 plus hours a week, and my off days are really not off days. Sex helps me relax and makes me a healthier person, thier is no better way endorphins. I use sex as a coping mechanism for daily life now do I have multiple parters no. Now if this makes me a slut in some peoples eye so be it. We all have our reasons for having or not having sex that is a personal choice. It should not be one that is regualted by law, some book, or through morality. We all saw what happened during prohibiton and that did not work out to well.

Kudos to you for one of the best explainations on virginity I have ever heard!

 

Well the difference is women usually don't want to be forced to have sex all the time by random guys, and males are genetically predisposed to, shall we say, spread their seed

 

I always love virginity threads, because it's about butch, uglier women, claiming how great their "sluttiness" is....but then a beautiful virgin announces that she's a virgin, all the guys want to team up on her to steal her virginity, and all the butch uglier women change their stance, telling her not to make their same foolish mistakes, which was, giving up their sexuality at the first guy who made a pass at them. It's funny!

 

Using others to please your self is never a good thing. The problem isn't that women who sleep around are still called whores and sluts the problem is that men who engage in the exact same behavior aren't appended the approriate tag that once they were.

 

So men should be blamed for women failing to keep their legs closed, as if they don't have the rational, self-responsible power to do so?

I agree! Let's blame men for everything evil in the world!!! Women are always 100% innocent. Women are not responsible for who they have sex with, and which cretins they allow to worm themselves into their panties!

 

Why should women keep their legs closed? it is just sex and it doesn't shape their character.

What more men are avoid saying is that their biggest fear is to be sexually inadequate and this is the main reason behind sexism in religion & society , this is also the trick behind circumcision (removing foreskin reduces sensitivity and makes you "last longer") .

Truth is that we are very sexual creatures and we are perfectly evolved for doing it , sex is only pure fun and it should be taken like such.
"Slut" is someone who has more fun than you do .

28 and still a virgin hoping for a relationship : just think that you are competing against thousands of women who know how to please a man , know how to flirt , know how to dress and know what to do in bed , the more you grow up the less your chances for a relationship are becoming. Only weirdos in the ages between 25-40 will do it with a virgin AFAIK.

 

I don't see where in his comment, Garyd blames men for women having sex.

Read his comment again: he/she says that what is troubling is that men are not given the same negative epithets for having casual sex as women do.

Ittakes TWO to have casual sex. and if having casual sex determine whether one is a slut, it should apply to both the male and female, NOT the female only.

You're correct that females could refuse to have casual sex. . . .so could the males!

 

The Bible doesn't do double standards. People do. The woman who was caught in a act of adultery was not stoned soley because that had not brought the man along for the ride as required by Jewish law.

 

Not quite as funny as your post
Butch, uglier women? What about balding, pot-bellied older men who just love to crow about their conquests and how big their dicks are?