I was in Chicago this weekend and a friend of mine played the soundtrack to
Avenue Q for me-- it is laugh-out-loud funny. I think I have to go see this show when I hit NY in the Spring; for those unfamiliar with it, it's basically a grown-up, slightly (OK...
quite) perverted version of Sesame Street...
Anyhow, the song is a little long (I edited the format as best I could to save space)... I had to post it, though-- I could
hear EuP in my head saying some of the lyrics...
~~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone's A Little Bit Racist
Princeton and Kate Monster: I guess we're both a little bit racist. / Admitting it is not an easy thing to do... / But I guess it's true. / Between me and you, I think... /Everyone's a little bit racist Sometimes. Doesn't mean we go Around committing hate crimes. Look around and you will find No one's really color-blind. Maybe it's a fact We all should face Everyone makes judgments Based on race.
Now not big judgments, like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from... / No! / No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican busboys should learn to speak good English! / Right!
Everyone's a little bit racist Today. So, everyone's a little bit racist Okay! Ethinic jokes might be uncouth, But you laugh because They're based on truth. Don't take them as Personal attacks. Everyone enjoys them - So relax!
All right, stop me if you've heard this one... / OK! / There's a plane going down and there's only one paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest... / And a black guy!
Gary Coleman: Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?
Kate Monster: Uh...
Gary Coleman and Princeton: You were telling a black joke! / Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes. / I don't. / Well, of course you don't - you're black! But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right? / Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks! / Now, don't you think that's a little racist? / Well, I guess you're right.
Kate Monster: You're a little bit racist.
Princeton/Kate Monster/Gary Coleman: Well, you're a little bit too. We're all a little bit racist. I think that I would Have to agree with you. We're glad you do. It's sad but true! Everyone's a little bit racist - All right! All right! All right! All right! Bigotry has never been Exclusively white. If we all could just admit That we are racist a little bit, Even though we all know That it's wrong, Maybe it would help us Get along.
Oh, Christ do I feel good. /Now there was a fine upstanding black man! / Who? / Jesus Christ. / But, Gary, Jesus was white. / No, Jesus was black. / No, Jesus was white. / No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black... / Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish! (laughter)
Brian and Gary Coleman: Hey guys, what are you laughing about? / Racism! / Cool.
Christmas Eve:
BRIAN! Come back here! You take out lecycuraburs!
Princeton/Brian/Kate Monster: What's that mean? / Um, recyclables. Hey, don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak? / Oh, come off it, Brian! Everyone's a little bit racist. / I'm not! / Oh no? / Nope! How many Oriental wives Have you got?
Christmas Eve:
What? Brian!
Princeton:
Brian, buddy, where you been? The term is Asian-American!
Christmas Eve and Brian:
I know you are no Intending to be But calling me Oriental - Offensive to me! / I'm sorry, honey, I love you. / And I love you. / But you're racist, too.
Christmas Eve:
Yes, I know. The Jews have all The money And the whites have all The power. And I'm always in taxi-cab With driver who no shower!
Princeton and Kate Monster:
Me too! / Me too!
Gary Coleman:
I can't even get a taxi!
All:
Everyone's a little bit racist It's true. But everyone is just about As racist as you! If we all could just admit That we are racist a little bit, And everyone stopped being So PC Maybe we could live in - Harmony!
Christmas Eve:
Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!