Ring Ringgggg
Worker #1: Suicide hotline, How do I direct your disorder?
Caller: Huh?
Worker #1: Is there something I can help you with? Are you having any problems or experiencing depression or anxiety?
Caller: Uhh no, not really.... Well, yes in a way.
Worker #1: What is it?
Caller: Well, I was just wodering... does anyone ever get tracted?
Worker #1: Excuse me?
Caller: Oh don't worry man, you're excused. heh
Worker #1: This is the suicide hot line. It's supposed to be an emergency crisis resolution resource. If you genuinely are in need of us, we're here. If you're trying to play some joke, not only is this not amusing, but you're tying up a valuable phone line.
Caller: Chill dude, this is important!
Worker #1: <unintelligible>
Worker #2: Is there a problem I can help you with?
Caller: Yeah maaannn, like... I was wondering if you ever heard of anyone being tracted. I didn't like that other cat. He was all Jesudrixxistic. You're cool aren't you?
Worker #2: Can I refer you to a psychiatric service? They can come to your home and perform an intervention if needed. Where do you live?
Caller: I live right here maaaan. Say, those dudes... can they fix a bong?
Worker #2: Sure they can. Just give me your address and they'll come over and fix your gong.
Caller: heheheh not gong dude... BONGGGG! Are you one of those literal Docists?
Worker #2: I'm whatever you say I am. Just give us your location please so we can come help you.
Caller: I lived next door to a literal Docist once. All he talked about was big Al. He was worried about the big flush or something like that. Hey man, I gotta'go now. Let me leave you with this... Never, under any circumstance should you ever get tracted. Okay?
Worker #2: uh okay.
Caller: 'Cuz one day you might lose it and then you'd be DIS-tracted. heheheheh get it? Bye duuuuuude!
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"The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left."
Ecclesiastes 10:2 (NIV)
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