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ForceoftheTruth · #1 (**permalink**) 04-22-2006, 08:12 AM

I'm sorry for bringing this up again. If you are easily hurt by gender related topics, please don't read any further. This first paragraph is to warn you that I am going to bring up some rather unpleasant subjects in this thread. If you read beyond this sentence, I gather that you are not easily hurt by such topics.
Okay, at least for now, I have made peace with my religion. It is no longer my main obstacle. A far bigger problem is that I hate myself for being male- particularly for being a heterosexual male. You see, I was raised by my parents with an understanding that women participate in the carnal because they want to be loved, while male sexuality, unless it is for the purpose of procreation within marriage, is inherently exploitive and disrespectful towards women. I can't stand the idea that every carnally related thought I have may be an evil against the woman who is its subject. I have taken it a step beyond my parents' teachings by looking up so-called radical feminist teachings, which state that male heterosexuality is cruel and the basis of all societal oppression. Try as I might, I cannot destroy my carnal nature. I have beaten and literally tortured myself in attempts to do so. It is futile. Let me make it very clear that I don't do anything. I don't harass women and I would never commit fornication. However, my mind doesn't stay perfectly asexual and I can't make it do so with any amount of willpower or prayer. I have been taught by my parents and more recently by reading I have done about certain types of feminism that all male heterosexual thoughts- even relatively mild ones- are inherently degrading and cruel. My birth and my parents' celibacy that resulted from it have only strengthened this idea in my mind. I don't what else to write except that I need advice on how to deal with all of this. Thank you very much.