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Either my mother, on whom I have, perhaps, an excessive emotional dependency, is losing it mentally or I'm incorrect in calling myself a Christian. It is also disturbing that I can't figure out which is the case.
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First of all, Force, if you believe Christ died for your sins, you are a Christian. That's it. You would never think that all Christians must agree on everything, would you?
Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the dilemma. I got the impression that you were talking a scenario in which a lunatic was holding a gun to your head and all you had to do to live was say you didn't believe in Christ. It's happened recently. Remember the FOX newsmen who were kidnapped? They both "became Muslim", but only by words. Given their dilemma, I probably would have done the same thing. I would think about my family and do anything I could to be with them again. If they hadn't said what they said, they would have been dead and no one would ever know of their heroic faith. I wouldn't worry about disagreeing on this.
Many Christians are against the death penalty because they believe the dead guy will go straight to hell with no chance at redemption. I haven't found that in the Bible. I have seen "the second death" though. I have a nonchalant attitude about life/death in a way, not that I don't grieve at loss or want to live a long time. But as far as what happens to someone after death, I can say, "it's in God's perfectly capable hands" and leave it at that.