First off you need to figure out what you plan on doing with this weapon. Is it to be used as a range gun, or do you want it for personal protection? If all you want is a weapon to take to the range and blow off rounds then you may want to look at a .22lr target pistol. The rounds are cheap, and it is easy to handle. It has a very light slide, very low recoil, and very low muzzle signature. But not the best weapon for personal protection, although, like I said earlier, a .22 to the chest is better than a .50 AE to the leg. The Browning Buck Mark .22 Auto is great for this. It is decently priced, and pretty durable.
Now for defense, are you planning on getting a CCW, or do you just want it sitting on your nightstand?
Or if you have kids, in a
bed side safe.
If you go with a bedside safe, you have multiple options. I would suggest against a regular combination lock. It takes time to unlock those. Key locks are pretty good, and fairly cheap to buy. After you put your kids to bed you can lock your door and put the key in it for easy access. Or you fork over the extra cash and get one of
these The finger print safe is about the best way to go, You can get in them faster, and only you can access them. There are other types out there, but these are the most common. Also, do not solely rely on a bedside safe to keep your weapon from being stolen when you are not home. Crooks can easily pick it up and break into it when they get back to their own home. So I would also suggest a fixed wall safe to store it while you are gone.
Now say you do not plan on carrying concealed, and only want it for home defense. First off remember that you are better off going with a rifle. But depending on where you live, a good rifle may be more difficult to get a hold of, and they are more difficult to store close to your bed. So we will just talk about pistols for now.
For straight up home defense a longer pistol is always better, the more distance you have between the front and rear sight, the more room for error you have when aiming. But if you plan on carrying concealed, then you may want to go with a compact or a sub compact. But remember the smaller you go, the less room for error with talking about aiming. Also, the smaller you go, the less room you have for things like larger feed ramps, ejection ports, and extra rounds. But if you are carrying, you should not have to fire off more than three or four rounds.
Glock, Taurus, Sig, and Colt all make pistols with fairly light slides. So you can easily work the action, and in a tense situation you do not want to be struggling with the slide. The Glock 21 is an excellent choice for home defense. It is a full sized pistol chambered in .45. Everyone, regardless of size can handle it, I do not care what anyone says. With proper training, and good aggressive stances, everyone can handle the recoil. But not the best choice for a concealed carry weapon. While it is a full-sized weapon, it is not overly bulky. It has a fairly slim profile, and is very reliable. But if you feel you will not be able to handle it, you can always go with a Glock 17, or a Glock 22. Remember, any round center mass will hurt the target, and will eventually kill the target. You really can not go wrong with Glock, they are a great weapon. But you do have to be careful with the trigger safety. But as I said before, in a stressful situation, it is nice to know that you did not forget to take if off safe.
Glock 30 is a good choice for a concealed gun, it is chambered in .45, its mag holds ten rounds, and it can accept a full sized mag if you want. Glock 36 is another good compact, but it only has a single stack six round mag, and can not accept regular full sized mags. But as it is a single stack, it has a much slimmer profile, and as such, is easier to conceal, and is more comfortable to wear. Purse guns are worthless because they take more time to draw to bear.
Taurus also makes a great weapon. They are reliable, and the compact models have fairly light slides. The Taurus PT 145 is a good carry gun. It is chambered in .45 and I hear it is very comfortable to carry. I have only fired it a few times, but I did experience a few stoppages because of its compact nature.
A good weapon that I did not mention before is the Springfield XD. But (unless I am wrong) they do not make a compact in .45, only .40 and 9mm. And the subcompact only comes in 9mm, and the Springfield's tend to be a bit cheaper price wise without being cheaper quality wise.Once again, any round center mass will kill. The only difference is how long it takes for them to bleed out. Bigger holes mean a faster bleed.
There are even a few gun makers that make custom finishes for their weapons. Hell Glock even makes a Glock 17 with a pink slide, pink trigger, and pink tips for the mag. But I guess that would be up to you. I guess it would match those new shoes
(don't get mad, I was making a joke).
If you simply do not like any of the automatics you have tried out, then go with a wheel gun. As I have said, and will continue to say, there is nothing wrong with them. They are still very good pistols. But they do require some extra training to get rounds on target quickly.
There are hundreds of pistols to choose from. You can get all the advice in the world, but you have to choose your piece. Every shooter is different, and has different preferences.
Another thing. Most men will determine the way they dress by the piece they carry. I hope this does not seem sexist, I do not mean it to. But most women will not take this into account, so they need to take more care in choosing their carry weapon. I have found through years of working with firearms, and spending time at the range, that a woman will be more likely to leave her carry gun at home if it does not fit well with a certain outfit that she really wants to wear. So YOU HAVE TO take care in choosing what you carry.
My wife likes to look good in her clothes. She likes to wear her boobie shirts during the summer, and while wearing them, it is hard to carry without everyone knowing you are carrying. That is why I was happy when she decided to go with the G36. She can easily conceal it in her beltline while wearing a tight top.
A few of the types of carry I see the most.
Inside the belt is easier to conceal, but less comfortable for most, outside the belt is more comfortable but harder to conceal. And I doubt any of us will be wearing fannypacks.
A lot of people really like the rear carry. All this is, is an inside the belt carry with the weapon placed just off center of your back. It is comfortable, and easy to conceal. But it takes longer to draw from this carry. The strong side carry is probably the easiest to draw from, but is hard to conceal, especially if you are a bit overweight. It is also not very comfortable if you carry inside the belt. My personal favorite is the spleen carry. This is in the front, just off center closer to your strong side. It is fairly comfortable, easily concealed, and easy to draw. I feel that it is the best balance between all the factors. But all of this comes down to personal preference, YOU have to figure out what works best for you.