I understand what you're saying.
for me, I can't imagine a life without God, why? because there is no purpose for me afterwhile. then why shouldn't I do whatever I want? I mean, if there is no after-death, then I would start killing people, even becoming another hitler is not a problem without god. then jesus and hitler are the same, they had an effect in their lives, and gone forever. now they are equal, they're both nothing. what they did to us is completely irrelevant to what they are now. without God, there's no reason to be moral.

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