Pretty happy, actually. I went through a whole gamut though.

But because I knew the second I conceived, I'd actually had time to prepare myself for the idea of it before I had it confirmed with a test. Regardless, seeing that second blue line there made my mouth dry and my heart start palpitating. But I think that's what would happen regardless of planning or not. It's a really big deal!

I went through a lot of emotions in the first 14 weeks. Fear was there, for sure. But also excitement and pride, and happiness, and disbelief. There was also resentment (you really don't feel very good in the first trimester), and a feeling of rejection - like I had something growing inside me that I didn't want and that can feel very invasive. Those feelings didn't last but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have them.

You also have a sense of regret because you know that pretty soon your life is never, ever going to be the same, and your freedom and your relationship with the man you love is going to change forever. But then you have that anticipation of the love and joy and satisfaction and reward that it will bring - along with fear of the responsibility, tiredness, difficulties and worry of being a parent.

I think, though, the biggest thing you feel is anxiety over your pregnancy. Because you're not really in the `safe' zone until 12 weeks - so the weeks leading up to that are quite apprehensive. It's funny how even for something that is unplanned, once you make that decision to go ahead (and really, there was no decision for us in it at all) you are immediately a parent, you are immediately attached to that blastocyst (lol) and you immediately fear that you might lose it.

I had some very severe implantation pain at around the four - five-week mark, and my GP actually thought it might be an ectopic pregnancy. I'd known I was pregnant for about 10 days, and I cried all the way to the ultrasound.

Having said that, I also knew with an absolutely unshakeable belief that nothing was going to go wrong, that it wasn't ectopic, that I wasn't going to miscarry and that everything would be fine. You could call that the excess of oestrogen, or just a sixth sense, or wishful thinking. But I knew. I can't explain it.

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We've got rules and maps and guns in our backs, but we still can't just behave ourselves. Even if to save our own lives, we are a brutal kind. The Shins