Ive invented a new form of birth control, I place a pebble in one slipper and go limp.

There are many enjoyable sexual acts that do not require vaginal penetration,requests for information to Mrs B L Zeebub she will respond by plain envelope

Which reminds me of the joke about the Rear Admirals virgin daughter who married an ablebodied Seaman.

The night before the wedding the Rear Admiral had a chat with his daughter about sex, he ended with the statement that your future husband being a seaman may ask you to do it "the other way" he told her appart from it being a sin it hurt like hell! he would not explain further!

For 6 months the newly weds were at it like rabbits, the noise of there passion could be heard all over the ship!

One night after a very intense session she found herself bored with what had taken place, so looking for something different and not knowing what, she asked her husband in all innocence "lets do it the other way"

His reply was "What and risk having babies