Ha. I don't think so. I was half responsible for it too! In fact, I've never really understood that mentality. Perhaps I will when it's my turn.

The breathing's very important actually - all part of learning coping strategies. In the second and third stages of labour, contractions last for up to 90 seconds with only 30 seconds to two minutes in between. And those stages go for hours. You need to learn how to relax yourself.

But that's not covered in the antenatal classes. That's covered in a half-day workshop with the physiotherapists.

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We've got rules and maps and guns in our backs, but we still can't just behave ourselves. Even if to save our own lives, we are a brutal kind. The Shins