Thread: Friend Of Mine Had An Abortion

Originally Posted by TheHat

Pffft.

You just described the culture out there. Now multiply this story a million times over and you get a sick, twisted society that has no issues with killing innocent human beings. Just like you said, "I don't care about the abortion"....lol. So why be upset at your friends irresponsible behavior? What made her behavior irresponsible? You support killing babies, so what could possibly be wrong with her behavior?

Another problem with this line of logic is that you are placing the blame for a "sick, twisted society" entirely on women. Women who can control their own reproduction have a fair and equal access to education and employment opportunities. The idea that women should be subjugated is sick and twisted.

Originally Posted by Makedde

Well, I shouldn't really say 'friend' because she's one of these people who complains and whines about how crap her life is.

She had an abortion about 10 weeks ago. Before that, she'd go out clubbing and pick up random men and take them home. She'd drink herself stupid and call up 'sick' to work so we had to race around to replace her shifts. She has no idea who the father was, it could have been anyone. So she went and got rid of it and now she is still claiming to my boss that she is pregnant, so my boss has sympathy for her.

I don't care about her abortion, its just the fact that she is one of those irresponsible women who don't bother to protect themselves.

On other hand, I have another friend, who is only 18, and she is nearly five months pregnant. In order to buy baby clothes and other things, she got herself a full time job. She works eight hours a day, seven days a week, and has stopped drinking and clubbing in order to protect her growing fetus.

This is an 18 year old. A teenager. Someone whom many would assume is irresponsible, yet she got herself a job and is preparing to be a mother, whereas the other is in her 20's and has no care in the world.

Abortion doesn't bother me, but my friend has pissed me off because I don't like to think how irresponsible and selfish some women are. Abortion, ideally, should be a last resort. Use protection, and if that fails, have the abortion. But don't go around screwing dozens of men and getting knocked up by some random stranger who you met and never even got their first name.

Some lifers might say that getting an abortion is irresponsible. But I think trying to prevent having the abortion in the first place (by using protection) IS responsible. My teenage mate has suddenly become the most responsible person I know. This is someone who used to drink so much she'd pass out and choke on her vomit. I just don't understand why she can change completely and my other mate refuses to. Someday, she'll end up getting hurt, and I think I'll have a hard time having sympathy for her.

Just needed to get that out. I feel so much better now.

Sometimes promiscuity, drug and alcohol use/abuse is a common response for many sexually abused girls. Not saying this is the case but your twenty something friend is engaged in dangerous and self destructive behaviour, doesn't appear to be coping very well.

On the other hand has your slightly younger mate visited fetus name websites or discussed with you what she may/will name her fetus? If not, what are the fetus name frontrunners? I Googled www.fetusnames.com probably very popular in some social circles.

Makedde said,

"Well, I shouldn't really say 'friend' because she's one of these people who complains and whines about how crap her life is."

Oh yes, God forbid that you as a friend would not want to hear her problems.

"She had an abortion about 10 weeks ago. Before that, she'd go out clubbing and pick up random men and take them home. She'd drink herself stupid and call up 'sick' to work so we had to race around to replace her shifts. She has no idea who the father was, it could have been anyone. So she went and got rid of it and now she is still claiming to my boss that she is pregnant, so my boss has sympathy for her."

Why…you are so judgmental Makedde, wow. Is there something wrong with sex? You have a terribly warped view of it I'm afraid…golly. And judgmental….wow. Yes I can see why you don't like her….she is a slut, right? And now a LIAR. Well judge judge judge…why don't you? LOL

"I don't care about her abortion, its just the fact that she is one of those irresponsible women who don't bother to protect themselves."

LMAO Oh honey we know you don't care about that…thats a no brainer. You are pro-death…you just like to point your finger at those you hate. Your don't care if unborns die….yet you think she should have used protection. HMMMMMMM And why is it your business anyway…isn't abortion personal?

"On other hand, I have another friend, who is only 18, and she is nearly five months pregnant. In order to buy baby clothes and other things, she got herself a full time job. She works eight hours a day, seven days a week, and has stopped drinking and clubbing in order to protect her growing fetus."

You mean you have a friend that would allow her child life? That just blows my mind. You are so so judgmental makedde, wow.

"This is an 18 year old. A teenager. Someone whom many would assume is irresponsible, yet she got herself a job and is preparing to be a mother, whereas the other is in her 20's and has no care in the world."

Eighteen is not a child, not a teenager. Didn't' you try to convince her to kill her baby?

"Abortion doesn't bother me, but my friend has pissed me off because I don't like to think how irresponsible and selfish some women are. Abortion, ideally, should be a last resort. Use protection, and if that fails, have the abortion. But don't go around screwing dozens of men and getting knocked up by some random stranger who you met and never even got their first name."

She is no friend of yours…and what does selfishness have anything to do with this…if there is nothing wrong with abortion? LOL
And what is wrong do tell us…with having sex with multiple partners. Of course I am playing devils advocate here…I just want to see someone who tells me I am so narrow-minded and intolerant….make the case that her FRIEND is a slut and wrong morally. IS HER LIFE YOUR BUSINESS?

WHY ARE YOU SO INTOLERANT AND JUDGEMENTAL.

Oh I am so glad I found this post of yours. Cant wait for your answer.


Some lifers might say that getting an abortion is irresponsible. But I think trying to prevent having the abortion in the first place (by using protection) IS responsible. My teenage mate has suddenly become the most responsible person I know. This is someone who used to drink so much she'd pass out and choke on her vomit. I just don't understand why she can change completely and my other mate refuses to. Someday, she'll end up getting hurt, and I think I'll have a hard time having sympathy for her.

Just needed to get that out. I feel so much better now.[/QUOTE]

Originally Posted by Makedde

My issue is that she is the most irresponsible person in the world, but my 18 year old friend is doing everything she can do prepare for her baby.

I also have an issue with her LYING to my boss, making her think she is still pregnant when she isn't! My boss isn't great, but to allow her to be strung along by this girl just makes me feel sick. I just don't know if I should say something to her, or let her find out on her own.

It wouldn't be smart to get involved in a personal matter b/t a co-worker and your boss - this is b/t those 2 and the coworker's irresponsible lifestyle shouldn't effect you either........

@Churchmouse - I am not even going to bother responding to your rant.

@Hummingbird, I thought the same, but as much as my boss annoys me at times, I feel bad that she is being taken for a ride.

This 'friend' is now claiming she was raped. She might have been (although she was smashed on the night it allegedly happened) but because she has told us so many lies its hard to trust anything she says.

Originally Posted by Makedde

@Churchmouse - I am not even going to bother responding to your rant.

@Hummingbird, I thought the same, but as much as my boss annoys me at times, I feel bad that she is being taken for a ride.

This 'friend' is now claiming she was raped. She might have been (although she was smashed on the night it allegedly happened) but because she has told us so many lies its hard to trust anything she says.

Well, it's your choice, but to get involved in something like this - I wouldn't do it. And I'm sure your boss is smart enuf to figure things out......

M/b your co-worker was raped - you don't know! Also, how do you know for a fact that everything she said is a 'lie'? You really don't.......

Give the co-worker a break and leave her alone. Sounds like she has enuf problems that she has to deal with........

Originally Posted by Hummingbird

Well, it's your choice, but to get involved in something like this - I wouldn't do it. And I'm sure your boss is smart enuf to figure things out......

M/b your co-worker was raped - you don't know! Also, how do you know for a fact that everything she said is a 'lie'? You really don't.......

Give the co-worker a break and leave her alone. Sounds like she has enuf problems that she has to deal with........

We know she is lying because she says something one day and something completely different the next. She can't get her stories straight. She's like the girl who cried wolf or something.

Makedde

"@Churchmouse - I am not even going to bother responding to your rant."

Oh honey of course you won't…the entire post convicts you. It's ok however…run.

"This 'friend' is now claiming she was raped. She might have been (although she was smashed on the night it allegedly happened) but because she has told us so many lies its hard to trust anything she says."

Wow…what a friend.

Originally Posted by Makedde

We know she is lying because she says something one day and something completely different the next. She can't get her stories straight. She's like the girl who cried wolf or something.

Then take her aside and quietly confront her w/her conflicting stories if it bothers you that much..... but to let yourself get caught up in all this drama can end up hurting you.......

When you're working w/women, you have to be careful w/this type of thing and stay away from the gossip - the more women who get involved, it can get reeeal ugly.... that seems to be the nature of the female beast, whereas usually men don't play that game. At least that's what I've found during the yrs of working w/both....

Obviously this girl has emotional problems if she's telling a story one day and something different the next day - just tune it out. It's very easy to do....

Originally Posted by Makedde

We know she is lying because she says something one day and something completely different the next. She can't get her stories straight. She's like the girl who cried wolf or something.

Not there of course but it sounds as though your friend is lost, drowning even. You may know a great deal about her but if she is like most human beings the story you've shared sounds as if there is something struggling to surface and be recognized.

I get that you can pass judgment on only what you are aware of, perhaps the core issue hasn't been revealed or shared with you as of yet.

Another troubling development is the claim of rape. It could be the truth or it could be an attempt to make another responsible for whatever is going on. If she were to cause charges to be brought against some fellow would you share your doubts about your perception of her inability to be truthful with the authorities or would you remain silent? Rape is a claim that if true is a horrific crime but if untrue is equally unjust.

I have no study to cite but I have found, through observation only, that women are generally harder (judgmental) on the circumstances of another woman. Sometimes this can blind one to a hidden personal issue of another.