I think what initially was meant that there are some Pro-Choices that would not get an abortion themselves.

I have a stance such as that.

Interesting note, why don't all the Pro-Life people start celebrating their birthdays on the day they were concieved instead?

Just because we were concieved does not mean that this is the time when we started to live. If it was, then why do we find it so repulsive when someone will kill a woman with a child in her womb?

All I know is that if I were female, I would want the complete freedom to decide what goes on in my body at all times.

Seeing it from that perspective, I stand by the Pro-Choice/Anti-Abortion stance.

I agree, it's not a very good way to say it, because Pro-Choice signifies that we would stand by and allow abortions to go on, but we can't really think of a designation that describes it. I guess Pro-Mind-Your-Own-Business might fit. Or Pro-Life-Only-If-It-Concerns-My-Kid.

I not sure, ideas?

I originally posted this under the "Women's Rights" thread but wanted to give it more exposure.

I've been reading many of these threads on abortion, and found it interesting that while everyone "knows" what to do, no one has had any first person experience with it.

I found out three days ago I am pregnant. I am 26, will be enrolled in the fall at a prestigious school for graduate courses, in a stable relationship for 2 1/2 years. We have no money. We are working on fixing our financial bleakness, but we are barely treading water as it is.

Birth control doesn't always work, despite deliberate action and thoughtful consideration.

I have never wanted children. My parents were abusive, their parents were abusive. I'm not cut out to be a mother.

He is not interested in having children. To have a child right now would be the ruin of three lives.

I'm not capable of adoption. Our mistake is our responsibility and I will not turn over a life to another to raise. There are too many children already in the world without food, family, and shelter. I see children frequently abused by their parents. I will not add to the cycle of poverty and abuse.

My abortion is scheduled for Monday. I'm not happy about it. I've never cried so much in my life. I'm terrified. I take comfort in knowing that it is the best decision for me.

I'm posting because I am interested in reading about people and learning abou them. Maybe I will help someone open their mind, maybe I will help change someone's perspective.

Give it up for adoption. There are plenty of parents willing and able to care for the child. Ultimately, it is your choice. Abortion is easy. It's less expensive than keeping the kid. But it also comes at a price. My girlfriend's step mother had an abortion before she had her, and she is emotionally scared to this day from it.

My brother and his wife tried for three years to have a child. Then, they were on a waiting list to adopt for another three years. At that point they were on the verge of being considered too old so they went to China to adopt their daughter. They wanted another, but they just don't have the nearly $20K it cost to get a Chinese infant, and there just aren't enough babies here for everyone who wants to adopt. Sorry for my bluntness but, I think selling baby girls is a big source of income for China.

__________________
Order without liberty and liberty without order are equally destructive. - Theodore Roosevelt

Yes, adoption seems like a good answer. I certainly gave it serious consideration. It is not the best decision for me.

I would like to hear more about your g/fd's stepmother. Why is she "emotionally scared"? (Did you mean "scarred"?) What made her make her decision and what were her circumstances? Thanks.

As said above by Bell, she is/was barely treading water to survive. If she had a child, she would most likely go into Poverty. Now think of this. It is well known that children who grow up in poverty, end up criminals. It is true that if the mother cant give the child a place to live, bad things will result..

and this is a story I heard recently. All names and such have been cut out.

Someone I know told me a story of her grandmother. The grandmother had 2 children, and she had a husband. This was during the great depression. At that time, Abortions were, if done at all, shady operations. Her husband forced her to do an abortion, since they could not do an official one (i do not think they were legal back then). She had to use a clothes hanger. As a result, the grandmother died. All because she couldnt get a normal abortion, that she needed.

This is one time when it is nessesary. I firmly believe that the rights of the mother come before that of the unborn child.

__________________
Do not believe out of fear, or for the fact you grew up in a religon. Believe what your heart tells you is right.
-C. Payette

I guess I’m too late, Bell. I apologize for sounding insensitive, but your decision definitely wasn’t best for your son/daughter. It pains me to hear of how an unborn life is trivialized because it doesn’t conveniently fit into peoples plans. It is also troubling to hear that people use the potential loss of money as the reason to justify abortion. If you aborted every baby that put their parents under financial strain or below the poverty line many great minds and amazing people would have never had the chance to do the great things they’ve contributed to this world.

Please, next time (and I pray there isn’t) talk to an adoption counselor or maybe to some families that have adopted babies. They will tell you that adoption is great option for the baby and for the couples that cannot have children. There is no BCP that is 100% effective. Anytime you have sex there is a possibility to create another life. If you are sure that you don’t want children then you should consider a tubal ligation or a hysterectomy.

Vinyar, are you saying that if you have a baby and he/she causes a couple to become impoverished, that they are forever destined for poverty??? They can never rise out of their poverty because of this child??? You’re joking right? And, Did you ever consider that children born into poverty may also have more drive and passion to be successful than a child born into wealth because they have nothing? Your reasoning (if you want to call it that) is pathetic. You have a defeatist outlook on life.

Roux-en-Y, I appreciate your thoughts. A few comments:

Yes, I know it wasn't the best decision for a potential son/daughter (not far along enough to know, thank whichever god you wish to thank) but it was the best decision for me.

Yes, it's terrible how much financial status (or lack of) influences these grave decisions. It's horrible, I agree. I wish it were not so.
More specifically to what you said, it's not that it would put me into poverty for I am already there. Does society need another poor, single mom?

That was also not the only factor in my decision. It's selfish, but I am on the cusp of accomplishing something I've worked my whole life for. I'm sure you would find it a worthy cause. Also, when I was pregnant, I was sick, very sick, every single day. I was wasting away, and it felt like cancer to me. There's no way I could have worked, and that would have led down a dangerous, narrow road.

I'm quite familar with adoption, as it 'runs' in my family. I've seen the results and it was not the correct answer for me.

As far as birth control from now on, he is getting a vasectomy.

My post abortion thoughts are such that it is a horrible, terrible procedure. I will never go through it again, and I wish no one ever had to. It was such a nightmare, and my immediate thoughts were "this should be banned. It would make everyone's decision just so much easier." But that's such an idealistic thought. If we lived in a different society, where money flowed freely to those who needed it, where stigma was less, where people believed in altruism, then ban abortion, yes indeed. Of course if we lived there, we wouldn't need to ban abortion.

I'm not so sure how I feel about abortion in cases or rape anymore. And I'm not so sure how I feel about abortion in cases of incest, or physical abnomality.
Lots of thinking to do.

Thanks