Thread: Scones with Jools and Liz

I see the Queen and Julia Gillard shared tea and scones this arvo....
I snuck in behind them with my tape recorder, which picks up conversations
in the next suburb....heres the transcript....

Queen: Well Jools, how are things going, being the first female PM down here.
JG: OOrrhh, we're buggered, Liz, absolutely buggered...
Queen:What do mean my dear...
JG: Well, its like this Liz...that bloody Tony Abbott is stuffing all my plans
for a dictatorship...he wont even agree to my gig for the boat people...
Queen: Why dont you blow the (*)(*)(*)(*)ers up Jools, before they even land...
JG: Naah...there'd be hell to pay from the do-gooders Liz...want another scone
Ya Majesty....(passes scones)
Queen...Yeaahh, its a bloody problem...but he does look cute in those
budgy smugglers...
JG: Yes...I saw Bob spying on him the other day...
Queen: What about the economy Jools...hows it going...
JG...Stuffed, Liz (pauses as she farts)....we owe every bastard money...
Queen: Hhmmmm...(reaches into her purse and pulls out a tenner)
Will this help...
JG: Thanks Liz...Ill put it towards the repair bill on the house...even
the (*)(*)(*)(*)ing guttering has (*)(*)(*)(*) itself...and I cant get a decent plumber to fix
the dunny...
Queen: Yeeh, its hard to get good help these days...(farts again)
Queen: What about the poker machines...jools..(helps herself to another scone)
JG: Jesus...dont start on that, for christs sake....bloody Wilkie is a pain
in the arse...next thing you know he wont even let Magoo have a bet
on the Cox Plate...
Queen: Who's Magoo
JG: Oooh, you know...that bastard thats always backing winners....I think he's
backing Glass Harmonica and Browns mate...Secret Admiration or some bloody
thing...bloody helmet head....
Queen: Anyway Jools...Ill gunna take a slash and get back to work...
I've gotta put new batteries in my vibrator....

Seriously, I mean, seriously, could you imagine HM getting up after
tea and scones and saying that.....hhhmmm

Originally Posted by mister magoo

Seriously, I mean, seriously, could you imagine HM getting up after
tea and scones and saying that.....hhhmmm

NOT ONLY THAT!
But when queenie got up & turned around to go for a squirt, judas wouldn`t be able to resist getting her mits on queenies buns & scones while queenie`s back was turned, even if she had given her solemn word not to. I don`t think queenie knows what a fork tongue judas is.

Originally Posted by aussiefree2ride

NOT ONLY THAT!
But when queenie got up & turned around to go for a squirt, judas wouldn`t be able to resist getting her mits on queenies buns & scones while queenie`s back was turned, even if she had given her solemn word not to. I don`t think queenie knows what a fork tongue judas is.

Stay tuned for my final update of the Royal visit....I just got off the phone
from my mate, Mannangatang Mick...apparently they're gunna invite me
down for a schooner or two with the Dook...(Phillip...not John Wayne)...