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Old 12-08-2006, 10:21 AM
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Default Illegal Aliens

Quote:
The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Pete McGlaughlin
Nothing says "this is stupid" better than sarcasm.
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All you need to know about the energy crisis:
ANWR Exploration Republicans: 91% Supported. Democrats: 86% Opposed.
Coal-to-liquid R's: 90% YES. D's: 78% NO.
Oil Shale Exploration R's: 90% YES. D's: 86% NO.
Outer Continental Shelf Exploration R's: 81% YES. D's: 83% NO.
Increased Refinery Capacity R's: 97% YES. D's: 96% NO

SUMMARY: 91% of House Republicans have historically voted to increase the production of America’s own oil and gas. 86% of House Democrats have historically voted against.
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Old 12-08-2006, 10:50 AM
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Default Is this going to be a standup fight, sir, or another bughunt

Pvt. Vasquez: Anytime, anywhere, man!

Pvt. Hudson: Right, right. Somebody said "alien" she thought they said "illegal alien" and signed up!

Pvt. Vasquez: F* you, man!

Pvt. Hudson: Anytime, anywhere.
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Old 12-08-2006, 11:33 AM
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Default dgddg

Setting aside the distinctions between a one-time incentive and an ongoing benefit, the letter is pretty funny.
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Old 12-08-2006, 12:05 PM
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Default even so

why should illegals get a two year tax break? We're bribing people in order to conform with the law? Not a good precedent. And why should they get such a large tax break?
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All you need to know about the energy crisis:
ANWR Exploration Republicans: 91% Supported. Democrats: 86% Opposed.
Coal-to-liquid R's: 90% YES. D's: 78% NO.
Oil Shale Exploration R's: 90% YES. D's: 86% NO.
Outer Continental Shelf Exploration R's: 81% YES. D's: 83% NO.
Increased Refinery Capacity R's: 97% YES. D's: 96% NO

SUMMARY: 91% of House Republicans have historically voted to increase the production of America’s own oil and gas. 86% of House Democrats have historically voted against.
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Old 12-08-2006, 12:21 PM
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Default .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebellion";p=&quot View Post
why should illegals get a two year tax break? We're bribing people in order to conform with the law? Not a good precedent. And why should they get such a large tax break?
Because if they don't get a tax break they won't try to become a citizen and they will end up paying zero taxes. It may not be fair but it would increase our tax revenue and make our country better. The fairness is a small price to pay for our countries well being.
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Old 12-08-2006, 12:32 PM
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Default Incentive

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mack";p=&quot View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebellion";p=&quot View Post
why should illegals get a two year tax break? We're bribing people in order to conform with the law? Not a good precedent. And why should they get such a large tax break?
Because if they don't get a tax break they won't try to become a citizen and they will end up paying zero taxes. It may not be fair but it would increase our tax revenue and make our country better. The fairness is a small price to pay for our countries well being.
Then we send their butts packing.

If illegals need that kind of incentive to become citizens we don't need them and should not want them. Hell, just being here shows to some extent their disregard for our laws.
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Old 12-08-2006, 12:52 PM
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Default ok...and?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mack";p=&quot View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebellion";p=&quot View Post
why should illegals get a two year tax break? We're bribing people in order to conform with the law? Not a good precedent. And why should they get such a large tax break?
Because if they don't get a tax break they won't try to become a citizen and they will end up paying zero taxes. It may not be fair but it would increase our tax revenue and make our country better. The fairness is a small price to pay for our countries well being.
Less crime is also beneficial to us as a country. Should we go to high crime areas and issue checks if they promise not to kill or rob people? Even children know that once a parent offers a bribe for one thing you can bribe them for something else in the future. What a wonderful precedent, we're bribing people to follow the law. How many others will follow with their hands out as well? If you can't follow the law then you should be removed from the country. Just like a parent (a responsible one) wouldn't bribe their children by giving them money if they promise to study in school or whatever.
__________________
All you need to know about the energy crisis:
ANWR Exploration Republicans: 91% Supported. Democrats: 86% Opposed.
Coal-to-liquid R's: 90% YES. D's: 78% NO.
Oil Shale Exploration R's: 90% YES. D's: 86% NO.
Outer Continental Shelf Exploration R's: 81% YES. D's: 83% NO.
Increased Refinery Capacity R's: 97% YES. D's: 96% NO

SUMMARY: 91% of House Republicans have historically voted to increase the production of America’s own oil and gas. 86% of House Democrats have historically voted against.
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old 12-08-2006, 01:55 PM
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Default .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebellion";p=&quot View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mack";p=&quot View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebellion";p=&quot View Post
why should illegals get a two year tax break? We're bribing people in order to conform with the law? Not a good precedent. And why should they get such a large tax break?
Because if they don't get a tax break they won't try to become a citizen and they will end up paying zero taxes. It may not be fair but it would increase our tax revenue and make our country better. The fairness is a small price to pay for our countries well being.
Less crime is also beneficial to us as a country. Should we go to high crime areas and issue checks if they promise not to kill or rob people? Even children know that once a parent offers a bribe for one thing you can bribe them for something else in the future. What a wonderful precedent, we're bribing people to follow the law. How many others will follow with their hands out as well? If you can't follow the law then you should be removed from the country. Just like a parent (a responsible one) wouldn't bribe their children by giving them money if they promise to study in school or whatever.
We aren't giving them money, we are forgiving them for a portion of past delinquencies. The IRS does it all the time with late tax payers. They may wave all the late fees in order to make it possible for someone to pay them as opposed to filing bankruptcy. In your black and white world of unobtainable ideals we would make illegals pay for all back taxes and deport them if they don't. Unfortunately we live in the real world where it is impossible to deport more than a tiny percentage of illegals and no one is going to try and become a citizen if it means paying taxes they can't afford. If this program makes America a better place by reducing all the problems associated with undocumented workers and increasing tax revenue I support it. We shouldn't make all Americans worse off because you don't think it is fair to give illegals a tax break.
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Old 12-08-2006, 03:06 PM
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Default How?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mack";p=&quot View Post
We aren't giving them money, we are forgiving them for a portion of past delinquencies.

So how are we supposed to determine how much they've cheated the government over this time period? Should we just accept what they say it is since most have been getting paid under the table?
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Old 12-12-2006, 08:41 AM
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Rebellion Rebellion is offline
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Default But Mama, that's where the fun is

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mack";p=&quot View Post
We aren't giving them money, we are forgiving them for a portion of past delinquencies. The IRS does it all the time with late tax payers. They may wave all the late fees in order to make it possible for someone to pay them as opposed to filing bankruptcy. In your black and white world of unobtainable ideals we would make illegals pay for all back taxes and deport them if they don't. Unfortunately we live in the real world where it is impossible to deport more than a tiny percentage of illegals and no one is going to try and become a citizen if it means paying taxes they can't afford. If this program makes America a better place by reducing all the problems associated with undocumented workers and increasing tax revenue I support it. We shouldn't make all Americans worse off because you don't think it is fair to give illegals a tax break.
Please show me an instance where the IRS has said "don't pay us the federal taxes you owe us" since we are talking about more than delinquencies.

False premise...Americans aren't "worse off" by not giving tax cuts to illegals. The failed world and practice of rewarding bad behavior. Just the start of a future trend where we reward people for bad behavior. Unfortunately this has been a liberal tenant for years now which is why many fail in this country. They know that as soon as they fail to act responsibly or within the law someone will be there to reward them for it.
__________________
All you need to know about the energy crisis:
ANWR Exploration Republicans: 91% Supported. Democrats: 86% Opposed.
Coal-to-liquid R's: 90% YES. D's: 78% NO.
Oil Shale Exploration R's: 90% YES. D's: 86% NO.
Outer Continental Shelf Exploration R's: 81% YES. D's: 83% NO.
Increased Refinery Capacity R's: 97% YES. D's: 96% NO

SUMMARY: 91% of House Republicans have historically voted to increase the production of America’s own oil and gas. 86% of House Democrats have historically voted against.
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