Bush has blown $130 mil of the $200 mil he raised -- at that rate it'll take half a billion for Bush to have enough money to buy enough votes to just try to break even with Kerry.

When you spend $130 million and you're still behind in the polls, something must be desperately wrong. No wonder the GOP congressmen are worried and Bush needs to beg them to keep the faith.

But going through $130 million in less than two months -- I have to wonder if some of that money isn't going for "nose candy".

It's a good strategy. Bush has to spend even less time being scrutinized, and the campaign season has no real breaks for thoughtful analysis.

August- Kerry gets a post-convention bump, has the spotlight to himself, bores everyone to tears. Everyone wishes that Bill Clinton could run again. Book sales of "My Life" skyrocket.

September- Bush gets his patriotic lovefest. Media story: remember how good a job he did after 9-11? What war, what economy? FoxNews commentator Sean Hannity tells co-host Alan Colmes, quote "Yeah, another 300 troops died in Iraq this month... " and makes the jerk-off motion.

October- Debates... "Hey, George Bush didn't drool or set his podium on fire." Maybe he's not that dumb. / Is Nader going to cost Kerry the election? In Vice-Presidential debate, Cheney tells Democratic nominee John Edwards that he has had, quote "craps that were more presidential than Edwards."

Novemeber 1st- A man who looks suspiciously similar to the singer from ZZ Top is arrested in northern Pakistan and claims that, quote "he would have gotten away with too, if it weren't for that pesky infadel President George W. Bush.

November 2nd- Bush wins by 3%, Nader gets 5%. An angry mob of Democrats vow to wipe that blank stare off Nader's face.

July 2006- Total eff-ing appocolypse.

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Any man who can render himself unconscious with a pretzel isn't smart enough to lead the free world.