Top Ten Reason Why I Love the 9/11 conspiring, vote rigging bastards you are paranoid about:

10) They send THE TEAMS to kill savages before they get here.

9) They fight about how many parts per BILLION of toxins are bad for my water.

I own stock in their companies, and it has been an amazingly good year!

7) Our commercial planes don't crash anymore.

6) The worst Hospital I could get taken to has the best tools to fix whatever threatens me.

5) When I call the cops at night - I can hear the helicopter coming before she finishes confirming that she has my correct address.

4) They Killed Elvis and let Dave Alvin live.

3) Even You would be surprised at how close they are to you whenever POTUS comes to town.

2) They already have iodine pills for me, just in case one gets through.

1) One doesn't get through.





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