Thread: Weird wedding.. the bride is gay..

Originally Posted by Margot

I want to frame this as a hypothetical, but it really happened in my extended family in a university town.

She identifies herself as a lesbian. Its a choice.

Originally Posted by HonestJoe

Your story doesn't really make much sense and the suggestion is that you weren't there yourself and are repeating what you were told. My suspicion is that something has been lost in the telling though I've no idea what it could be.

I'm not sure this is directly relevant to your story but I think it's the more important point;

There is no such thing as a standard homosexual wedding, just as there is no such thing as a standard heterosexual wedding. Everyone is individual and everyone will have a different wedding. Some homosexuals will go for a very traditional style and some heterosexuals will have something very unconventional.

The key point is that the only difference between homosexuals and heterosexuals is the gender of people they're attracted to. Beyond that, we're all equally capable of complete range of behaviour and opinions, good, bad or indifferent.

My source is reliable.............

Originally Posted by Perriquine

Depends completely upon what the couple chooses, just like any 'heterosexual' wedding.

I have only ever been to one wedding where both parties were of the same sex. It was a little over 20 years ago, and was merely religious/symbolic, not a marriage with any civil recognition. It took place in the MCC church I was attending at the time, before I became an agnostic. The vows were pretty much traditional. The only real difference was that both grooms walked up the aisle, separately - I don't remember exactly what the music was; I think something jazzy. They wore matching white tuxedos. Apart from that, it wasn't particularly memorable. The only thing I remember about the reception was being annoyed because I had met up with some old friends I hadn't seen in a long time, and just as we were starting to get past exchanging pleasantries, some man & woman that none of us knew plopped down at our small table and proceeded to completely monopolize the conversation. Seriously, the woman prattled on non-stop, making it impossible for my friends and I to engage each other.

If my partner and I ever have a wedding, he wants something fairly traditional. I'm for heading to the courthouse, signing the paperwork and calling it done. The thought of having to entertain a bunch of guests terrifies me. I'm admittedly very anti-social, and it seems like a pointless expense. I don't expect to ever have to confront the issue though, since I don't expect we'll ever be able to have a legally recognized marriage, and doing something merely symbolic doesn't excite me. I already consider us married in everything but name anyway.


How does one define a "real marriage"? Legal recognition? True commitment? I wouldn't presume to say.

Nice post... thank you.

Originally Posted by Margot

My source is reliable.............

I wasn't suggesting your "source" is necessarily unreliable, only that the sequence of events as you describe it raise lots of obvious but unanswered questions and basically don't make sense from logical/practical/legal points of view.

Assuming the event actually happened (which I'm perfectly willing to do), there has clearly been some information lost between it being witnessed and your description of it. I not clear why you're trying to get that information from us rather than your source.

Originally Posted by Margot

I want to frame this as a hypothetical, but it really happened in my extended family in a university town.

The rehearsal dinner went off without a hitch.. nothing strange.

But at the wedding the person who performed the service .. a woman.. announced that the bride was a lesbian and was looking for a woman when she met the groom.. a brilliant doctoral student.

Everyone except my family giggled.. She went on to talk about donating to gay and lesbian rights in lieu of wedding gifts.. The majority of the wedding guests were gay, lesbian and Transexual.

There was no exchange of promises.. like to love and cherish.. be a lover, friend or partner.

The person who officiated.. this woman.. went on to say that she had applied on line to get a $17.00 license to perform the marriage.

A reception followed with the first song being something called "(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) Control"..

It was only about 50 guests, but those who would have left, couldn't because they had all arrived at the venue in a party bus.

The children who attended had never heard the word lesbian and had never heard music like (*)(*)(*)(*)(*) Control... It was explained to them.. that this song was about herding cats.

Evidently most of the music was pretty raunchy..

1) The groom is straight.. or I have always thought he was..

2) Other siblings and cousins are fairly conservative and traditional

3) the family is reeling and wondering about the insult value towards the parents of the groom.

4) Having never been to a homosexual wedding, may I ask if they take vows like to love and protect and honor each other. I would naturally assume that they do.

5) Is this a real marriage or is it some sort of political performance art?

I am getting up there in years.. and nothing much surprises me.. but this has thrown me for a loop.

other than Prince fans shouldn't be allowed out in public, let alone marry each other, it sounds like a marriage of convenience.

Originally Posted by Margot

I want to frame this as a hypothetical, but it really happened in my extended family in a university town.

The rehearsal dinner went off without a hitch.. nothing strange.

But at the wedding the person who performed the service .. a woman.. announced that the bride was a lesbian and was looking for a woman when she met the groom.. a brilliant doctoral student.

Everyone except my family giggled.. She went on to talk about donating to gay and lesbian rights in lieu of wedding gifts.. The majority of the wedding guests were gay, lesbian and Transexual.

There was no exchange of promises.. like to love and cherish.. be a lover, friend or partner.

The person who officiated.. this woman.. went on to say that she had applied on line to get a $17.00 license to perform the marriage.

A reception followed with the first song being something called "(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) Control"..

It was only about 50 guests, but those who would have left, couldn't because they had all arrived at the venue in a party bus.

The children who attended had never heard the word lesbian and had never heard music like (*)(*)(*)(*)(*) Control... It was explained to them.. that this song was about herding cats.

Evidently most of the music was pretty raunchy..

1) The groom is straight.. or I have always thought he was..

2) Other siblings and cousins are fairly conservative and traditional

3) the family is reeling and wondering about the insult value towards the parents of the groom.

4) Having never been to a homosexual wedding, may I ask if they take vows like to love and protect and honor each other. I would naturally assume that they do.

5) Is this a real marriage or is it some sort of political performance art?

I am getting up there in years.. and nothing much surprises me.. but this has thrown me for a loop.

Sounds like some pissed off leftists or atheists just trying to get a rise out of people - I feel pretty sorry for anyone who's actually that bored and bitter toward their country and values.

Originally Posted by Margot

I want to frame this as a hypothetical, but it really happened in my extended family in a university town.

The rehearsal dinner went off without a hitch.. nothing strange.

But at the wedding the person who performed the service .. a woman.. announced that the bride was a lesbian and was looking for a woman when she met the groom.. a brilliant doctoral student.

Everyone except my family giggled.. She went on to talk about donating to gay and lesbian rights in lieu of wedding gifts.. The majority of the wedding guests were gay, lesbian and Transexual.

There was no exchange of promises.. like to love and cherish.. be a lover, friend or partner.

The person who officiated.. this woman.. went on to say that she had applied on line to get a $17.00 license to perform the marriage.

A reception followed with the first song being something called "(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) Control"..

It was only about 50 guests, but those who would have left, couldn't because they had all arrived at the venue in a party bus.

The children who attended had never heard the word lesbian and had never heard music like (*)(*)(*)(*)(*) Control... It was explained to them.. that this song was about herding cats.

Evidently most of the music was pretty raunchy..

1) The groom is straight.. or I have always thought he was..

2) Other siblings and cousins are fairly conservative and traditional

3) the family is reeling and wondering about the insult value towards the parents of the groom.

4) Having never been to a homosexual wedding, may I ask if they take vows like to love and protect and honor each other. I would naturally assume that they do.

5) Is this a real marriage or is it some sort of political performance art?

I am getting up there in years.. and nothing much surprises me.. but this has thrown me for a loop.

I have no idea about the reasoning behind this particular event but this is exactly the kind of circus people are promoting when they say that gays have the exact same right to marry as straights as long as they marry the opposite sex.

I can't see how anybody holding that view can possibly object to this and they should be happy if their own straight son or daughter ended up marrying a gay man or lesbian. This would prove they were in the right all along regardless that it would be at the expense of their offspring's happiness.

Originally Posted by Colombine

I have no idea about the reasoning behind this particular event but this is exactly the kind of circus people are promoting when they say that gays have the exact same right to marry as straights as long as they marry the opposite sex...

Yep. ..

It sounds like a go at the gay and lesbian marriage stupidity ,from a Homosexual position as overwhelmingly Homosexuals despise and ridicule the very concept of marraige ,don't equate the gay and lesbian community religious nutters with the Homosexual community they are two distinctly DIFFERENT groups.

I think political farce directed at the anally retentive Gay and Lesbian rights nutjobs.

All hetrosexual males want to be lesbians BTW!

Or marry one ,maybe not lesbian but bisexual ,as lesbian defines no human sexuality ,It defines a Inhabitant of the Greek Island of lesbos and nothing else.

Originally Posted by HonestJoe

I wasn't suggesting your "source" is necessarily unreliable, only that the sequence of events as you describe it raise lots of obvious but unanswered questions and basically don't make sense from logical/practical/legal points of view.

Assuming the event actually happened (which I'm perfectly willing to do), there has clearly been some information lost between it being witnessed and your description of it. I not clear why you're trying to get that information from us rather than your source.

Frankly.. I just wanted to hear from some gay people on this matter. .. because I find it so puzzling..

My source is a kind person and a keen observer.. and he was flumoxxed as well.

The father of the groom is a self made millionaire many times over.. and I have known the groom for over 30 years... I think this was a deliberate injury to the father... and a matter of rivalry.

It makes me very sad....... because the father is a close friend and relative to me and I know his heart and his shortcomings.