1. You can fail out of 2 graduate schools but still be portrayed as "smart." (Gore)

2. You can confess to perjury but still be acquitted of it. (Clinton)

3. You get a job at a broadcast news network. (Every anchor)

4. You call someone "stupid" who doesn't agree with you.

5. A tiger relentlessly attacks you but you attempt to reason with it.

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"The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left."
Ecclesiastes 10:2 (NIV)

...the South is too red-neck a place to vacation because of the Bible-belt phenomenon, but you just love to take youre family their for vacation.

...you can't stand to watch Mr. Varney give his economic analysis on Fox News, because he came from CNN, but you just love to watch Paula Zahn, whom you formerly never wathched on Fox--and now works for CNN.

...you won't watch the Fox Family Channel because you think Sean Hannity might show up.

...you applaud Sen. Kerry for his keen insight into military strategy and his past military service, yet you don't care if he chucked his medals after having served in Vietnam.

...you say abortion is good for the health of the mother, yet you don't care if the diagnosis was a hang nail or a hangover.

...you don't watch Scarborough Country on MSNBC because you think it's a plug for the tobacco industry.

...you're ticked at rising gas prices but are just hunky-dory when a tax hike on gas is announced.

...you think a pluralistic society means the lack of competing ideas, opposing values, and there shouldn't be any winners.

...you won't watch an ESPN analysis of a football game, because you heard, "Air Force 1".

...you support Pita but you're an avid buyer of that "chunky-beef" dog food.

...you say that no one should mention religion in the workplace, yet you go around touting your value-system all day long at work.

...you lose an election by the Electoral College and somehow rationalize that the people's choice is more important than what the Constitution says.

...you say that the Constitution is a breathing document, but you gag on the right to bear arms.

...you want a woman to have the right over her own body, concerning abortion, but you want to give physicians the right to terminate a life, a la Dutch treat(ment).

Sad--but funny and true,

Sam

you believe that:

1. The most preventable disease, the AIDS virus, is caused by a lack of federal funding.

2. Social promotion in schools is good, and tests are either discriminatory or don’t measure anything.

3. Global temperature changes are due not to cyclical, documented changes in Earth’s climate but to too many yuppies driving SUVs.

4. Capital punishment is wrong but abortion on demand is the cat’s pajamas.

5. Businesses are mean spirited and create oppression, and big governments are honest and create prosperity.

6. Hunters and farmers don’t care about nature, but designer-suited environmental lawyers do.

7. We should change all our foreign policy to appease the terrorists to protect ourselves from their bombings.

8. Our taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

9. Standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren’t.

10. Millions of illegal aliens are good for our economy, but the businesses that hire them are bad.

...You believe that Michael is a hero of the 'Everyman' & that his speaks only truth yet refuse to see that be built a multi-million dollar empire on lies & manipulation of the truth.

...You believe that all blacks are victims...even the gun-totting gang-bangers who gun down & kill other black gun-totting gang-bangers.

...You believe that the N-word (we all know which word I mean!) is racist yet Cracker or Red-Neck aren't.

...You believe that Affirmative Action is good...even if a more qualified person who is white is passed over for a job that is given to a less qualified person who is black.

...You believe that you can be as rude & insulting as you want as long as you are getting your point across...& then accuse others of being a 'dumbass' or 'small-minded'.

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Be Alert: The world needs more Lerts