http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html

My personal favourites:

12. Not allowed to join any militia.

13. Not allowed to form any militia.

31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.

60. “The Giant Space Ants” are not at the top of my chain of command.

198. Not allowed to lead a “Coup” during training missions.

- BtD

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"Orthodoxy means not thinking - not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness."
[George Orwell, 1984]
"Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows."
[George Orwell, 1984]

27. Don't tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras

57. The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?”

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I am a stone, I do not move. I take my time, I let him come closer. I have only one bullet. I aim at his eye. I do not tremble, I have no fear.

7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.
48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.
201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.

Everyone Loves Skippy!!




http://skippyslist.com/list/
Explanations of these events:

a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended. (I had a Major shake my hand for the (*)(*)(*)(*) bottle thing, for instance.)

b) I witnessed another soldier do it. (Like the Sergeant we had, that basically went insane, and crucified some dead mice.)

c) Was spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do. (Like start a porn studio.)

d) Was the result of a clarification of the above. (“What about especially patriotic porn?”)

e) I was just minding my own business, when something happened. (“Schwarz…what is *that*?” said the Sgt, as he pointed to the back of my car? “Um….a rubber sheep…I can explain why that’s there….”)

THE BEST WEBSITE, EVER.

also funny: http://menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspot.com/

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Job 13:5 (New International Version)
If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom.

hey some good musicians in the list.

76. “Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around” is *not* a cadence.

84. Must not use military vehicles to “Squish” things.

147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke ®.

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"Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." - Alexander Pope

Skippy says..

210. Must not make T-shirts up depicting a pig with the writing “Eat Pork or Die” in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.

My favorites:

145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.

146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.

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Catz: "And, the ever-sage Volvo Driver:"

This is the best

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America's Enemies Are Not Mine

All wars represent a failure of diplomacy

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.” - Stephen Roberts.