Would you want to live your life all over again?

About fifteen years ago I had to go to a laboratory to have a medical test run. While in the waiting room, a nice 85 year old man came out and sat next to me. His eyes seemed moist, and he was in a sad, serious, mood. After a while, he started talking.

He asked if I’d like to live my life over again. I didn’t know how to answer, it’s something that would take a lot of thought. He got misty and said he’d love to live his life all over again, and said that he had loved every minute of it. And, I got the feeling that he had received some really bad news about the medical issues he was dealing with.

I’ve never forgotten the man, or the conversation. But I can finally answer the question. I would definitely not want to live my life over again. At this point I’m looking back over many decades, and it seems to me that life is made up of long stretches of difficulties and hardships, broken by rather rare and very short bursts of happiness. The ratio is far out of kilter as far as I’m concerned.

But there is another reason for my decision. I’ve traveled a bit, and lived in quite a few different cities and states. I still love being on the highway, finding out about another new area, city, and the people who live there. And in the course of that, I’ve found the old saying that, “you can’t go back again,” to be true.

When you return to a place you’ve lived before, the changes are often not pleasant. Things change a bit, of course, and people age. But many of the people who decide to stay in one place seem, aside from aging, seem to think in the exact same way they did years ago, and they talk about the same things, as if they haven’t had any new or different experiences during that long period of time. And, I’m not saying that living in one place for a long period is a bad thing. But it can make it difficult to return to a familiar place, when you could be learning about a new place, meeting new people, and experiencing some new or different things.

But, of course, I only feel that way because I most enjoy a lot of change. For all of these reasons, my full answer to the old gentleman’s question would be: "No, I wouldn’t want to live my life over again. I’ve already lived that life."

But I would love to live a new, different life. Starting everything fresh. It would be great to remember all of the old life’s lessons, but that’s probably asking far too much.

So, I thought other forum members might find it interesting or fun to explore their own thoughts on this rather complicated question. It can take a lot of introspection, so I’m not sure if this is a good topic for this forum. But there it is. Thoughts anyone?

 

Not the same life, no way. It's been a bitch. OK, I've had some success, especialy considering where I started from, but it's been hard. Now if I could start with better genes and a better family, then I'd have another go at it.

 

OP

This thread reminds me of the trite saying 'Life's a bitch then you die!'

 

Well, you know what they say - life is a sexually transmitted decease and the outcome is always fatal.

Don't worry monkrules, in your next incarnation you will be a female and a Republican.

As to the question, no, I don't want to live the same life again. Uh-uh, not me.

 

I would want to relive parts of it again.

After the 25 year nightmare that was my marriage, I spent three years with my first sugar baby. It didn't make any sense. It was hopeless. I couldn't last. It cost me a ton. She was over 25 year younger than me and far too beautiful. I was also more in love than I thought humanly possible and they were the three best years of my life. I didn't know a person could be so happy.

Looking back, the best parts of my life all occurred when I broke all the rules. When I look around at other people who seem to be happy living a "normal life", I can only think I would die of boredom.

 

Doesn't seem to be workin' the way I hoped it would.

 

I would only want to live this life again if I had the knowledge I have now right at the beginning so that I could avoid the pitfalls and mistakes. I thoroughly enjoyed spending the bulk of my life with my soulmate and yes, that is definitely worth repeating over and over again. Even the tough parts were easier because of having her by my side. We figured this life out together so I would not want to live my life again without her. That is a non negotiable condition.

The life I have lived has been both up and down and having reached semi retirement I am proud of having achieved what I have and given back as much as I could. Life is not only about oneself and helping others has been important because I know that none of us is an island unto ourselves. We need others and they need us.

Your comment about never going back is valid but only up to a point. If the place and/or people stagnate then yes, going back is not a pleasant experience. On the other hand if the place has grown and/or changed and people's lives and prospects have improved then going back is actually going forward instead. I am happy to say that I have gone back to a place where I grew up and the overall improvements are more than sufficient for me to want to retire there permanently.

Since this is a mental exercise, and I won't get the chance to live this life again, I am of the opinion that I have made the most of this one to the best of my ability. I have kept my head pointing in the right direction that people always matter and possessions don't. I will continue to live this life with the same philosophy no matter what.

When we die, as we all will eventually, it will be the love and kindness that we gave to others that will be remembered by those left behind. If that is my legacy then this life will have been well lived in my humble opinion.

Peace
DT

 

I like to think I have contributed to the future of humanity in a positive way. I hope so because I spent 30 years trying.

Not to take away from love and kindness... but I always hoped to make a difference... mainly in regards to solving the energy problem. I see this as the single most important issue on earth.

 

I also wanted to unify General Relativity with Quantum Mechanics, and explain gravity. Been working on that in my spare time but I think they would lock me up in a white room if I published.

,,, and I really hoped to figure out that Many Worlds business once and for all. If there is really another universe where I am emperor of the world, I want to go there.

 

I think so, but with a little tweak

 

Absolutely. I have said some cruel things to people over the years and hate myself for it. I also regret not leaving my abusive home the day after graduating high school. Should have joined the air Force and let them help with college after I became more mature.

I also wasted a lot if time fooling around with pointless hobbies, time that could have been better spent learning important disciplines -- chemistry, agronomy, mechanics, and math. My failure to have done so left me with a feeling of inferiority in those areas -- well, not a mere feeling; it's reality!

All that said, I managed to stay healthy for 65 years, have highly successful children, and am extremely well off due to regular work and some good savings and investment sense I managed to exhibit.

But God forgive me I've been unkind here and there.

 

I grew up in a bad area. Lots of fights, gangs, poverty, etc. And our family was fairly dysfunctional, as well. So I share your regret about not leaving sooner. Straight out of high school. That's probably why I enjoy moving to new places. Everything looks fresh and clean in a new town, since you're not familiar with the underlying problems that exist everywhere. But I have found a couple of small cities I really care about.

The very best thing about it, is that I've met a lot of great people, and have made some strong friendships, along the way.

 

Yeah, the most honest saying I've ever heard about life is:

Life's a bitch, then you die...

 

What's not to like? I retired in 1989 at age 55 and things are better for me today than when I was working. True, there's a few little stumbles I'd like a chance to polish and improve but overall I'll gladly take what I got.

 

I'd love to live life over again, so long as I had clear recall of past poor decisions, so I could alter a few things.

Why not?

 

I've been in a couple of major relationships. One lasted well over a decade. Then there was a relatively short marriage to a highly insecure and vindictive woman. We loved each other but could not live together, if that makes sense. Someone else was always to blame for her every problem, nothing was ever her fault. That's a poisonous attitude, and remaining in a relationship like that amounts to a slow suicide.

But in my defense I'll add that my short marriage felt like a 25 year nightmare. Lol...

 

Looking back, I don't know why I didn't leave after the first year. If only I knew then what I know now... Hindsight's a bitch.

I still struggle, but for me, learning to live in the moment was the key. Finding forever is a lot to ask. Being happy today is what matters.

 

Absolutely not. That would be like reincarnation.

 

I actually admire people who suffer through difficult relationships. "In sickness and in health, in good times and bad ...." Nobody said it would be easy.

 

That's true. But no one can know how difficult another person's relationship is.

And each couple has to decide for themselves whether it is worth it to stay together, or not.

A bad relationship can easily reach the point where staying together is an exercise in masochism.

 

I did too. I didn't believe in divorce. That's what duped me into staying in a horrible marriage and wasting half of my life.

Divorce never entered my mind until I almost committed suicide. The next morning I told her I wanted a divorce and planned my trip to get two escorts in Reno.

[I really only planned to get one but she had a friend]

Staring into the barrel of a 380 helps to clear the mind. Suddenly I realized that most of what I believed was crap. You get one life to live. Find happiness.

What stopped me from pulling the trigger was the thought of having sex with hot young women. I hadn't had sex in over ten years and I had never seriously consider cheating on my wife or certainly getting an escort. But I realized I could be with a young hottie in a matter of hours. That was worth getting up for tomorrow!!!

My next thought was, I'm not going to die for the bitch. What the hell am I doing? I was going to die for my marriage? It is easy to lose perspective.

 

Just how would one live one's life over? I mean, if one chooses such a thing will they be born again with no memory of the past life? That seems a bit too weird in that what is the purpose if one has no memory?

Hmmmm.....come to think if it, maybe we are all living our lives over and over again with no memory of our former lives. Is that the definition of Hell?

If I'm gonna live my life over, I want to know what went before otherwise what's the point?

 

Yeah, withholding sex is is a typical female move. Especially today where men are basically seen as rapists by rabid feminists. You waiting 10 years (without sex) tells my you were actually invested in the relationship. She wasn't because she withheld sex. I know hope springs eternal but at some point that spring runs dry. Good for you. Get a woman who worships you.

 

You are only getting to hear ONE side of the story (the dumped dude's side), so don't go saying bad things about a woman that you really don't know anything about. If you ask me, dumping on your ex so much to a bunch of people where she can't even defend herself or tell HER side of the story is a pretty immature and crappy thing to do.