Almost Half of U.S. Births Happen Outside Marriage, Signaling Cultural Shift

Ok??? I just did STAYING IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE DOESNT ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO MARRY. Now if your truely interested in discussion you would answer mine.DOES HAVING MULTIPLE PARENTS IN AND OUT OF CHILDRENS LIFE ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO WANT TO MARRY? WHY DOES DIVORCE RATES INCREASE AFTER EACH FAILED MARRIAGE?

 

Children don't need parents. It takes a village.

 

If they are happy, loving, respectful relationships , YES!

Multiple parents are a FACT OF LIFE for some...they cope as well as children in any other kind of marriage but much better when their parents are loving, happy, respectful.

If a child sees "happy, loving, respectful" they thinks that's the norm.

If they see misery, hate, disrespect, they think THAT is the norm...

Because SOME people make mistakes and don't always learn from them.....

Being miserable in one marriage isn't necessarily better!!!

What is your solution? Forcing miserable people to stay married???

 

Says you. In plenty of households I'm sure that isn't the case.

here's a novel idea: you make your choices for you and everyone else can make their choices for themselves.

 

Because women have been empowered and no longer have to put up with your ****.

 

I agree so it should read "put up with their ****"


Yup, when women started saying no to slavery and abuse, divorce rates rose

 

“Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey. Here are the reasons given and their percentages:

• Lack of commitment 73%
• Argue too much 56%
• Infidelity 55%
• Married too young 46%
• Unrealistic expectations 45%
• Lack of equality in the relationship 44%
• Lack of preparation for marriage 41%
• Abuse 25%

(Respondents often cited more that one reason, therefore the percentages add up to much more than 100 percent)” source https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/

All of those reasons can be worked those by communication and working on ones self expect abuse which is listed as last but instead people don’t work on themselves and marry again here’s the rates of divorce after each failed marriage

“7. Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce.

8. 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.

9. 73 percent of all third marriages end in divorce.” Source https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/

And as more partners are introduced in the children’s life it negatively impacts the children

“The researchers found that children born to unmarried mothers had more frequent behavior problems when they experienced three or more changes in their mother’s relationship status. Prior research has looked separately at whether parents’ prior relationship changes and childbearing with multiple partners is related to children’s behavior, but this work is the first to consider both these frequently simultaneous circumstances.

When they examined the dynamics behind these changes in children’s family composition, they found that mothers who experienced frequent relationship changes also reported greater financial hardship, harsher discipline strategies, and more frequent residential moves. These factors may explain why relationship instability is associated with children’s behavior problems.” Source https://www.childandfamilyblog.com/social-emotional-learning/multiple-partners-children-behavior/

 

Why would you think forcing people to stay married would be my solution? My solution is that people on there own use statistics and logic to come to the conclusion that children do best raised by their biological parents and those parents put their needs behind the needs of their children.

 

Here we go again, round and around, care to dance?

If they are happy, loving, respectful relationships , YES!

Multiple parents are a FACT OF LIFE for some...they cope as well as children in any other kind of marriage but much better when their parents are loving, happy, respectful.

If a child sees "happy, loving, respectful" they thinks that's the norm.

If they see misery, hate, disrespect, they think THAT is the norm...

 

your not saying anything just parroting the same things in the face of numerous statistics ie

“A US study has found that children whose mothers have multiple partners and who live with half-siblings have more frequent behavior problems in middle childhood compared to children in family structures that don’t change and where all children have both parents in common.” The more partners of parent has the less the likelihood of a “ happy loving respectful” marriage to be an example of marriage to a child.

 

That the best out you got?

 

I see you have nothing else.....so thanks

 

No one said you had to have a ceremony to get married. Although one of the purposes of the ceremony is to say to your family and the world that you have made that unique commitment to each other with it's legal bindings and the assumption that any children produce in the marriage are of both parents in the marriage and the responsibilities shared.

 

So you think if two parents stay together fighting, hating, being physically abusive, treating each other like dirt then children will have more of a tendency to get married because it looks like so much fun.... how odd..

 

I am just following the logic. The bigger the wedding the more people witness your vows so that must mean the bigger the commitment. LOL

Oh and a big party too. LOL

 

In fact , I have seen studies that say the less you spend on the ceremony the more likely they are to stay married

 

THAT'S the problem, the CULTURAL SHIFT the OP discusses. And who says, what studies show that there is no difference in outcomes between children of a consistent nuclear family and one in which a single mother has constantly different men temporarily in her life. Explain how that is just as good as a biological father or a forever step-father fully involved long term in the child's life?

 

But not necessary as you are implying and it becomes a public record. Why do you think people wear wedding rings? If all you have is harping on how big is the ceremony.............you ain't got much to say.

 

A couple can be happy together without applying for a certifacte at the local government's office.

 

Being married isn’t the end all be all in my estimations. Yes it is good but the goal is to create the healthiest child possible. What I’m say is the fighting and things are things that can and should be worked through for the sake of the child because the alternative is single parent households and we have the stats on that and they are not pretty

 

I don't see how the ceremony or rings implies anything. Its just tradition

 

My thoughts exactly your dead on

 

Oh geez these ones where they fly everyone Hawaii!!!! I had a "nice" wedding. My kids had "nice" weddings. Beach weddings, party weddings, even a few formal weddings. Going into debt for weddings is folly to me, the money can be better spent just giving it to them to use to set up the new home they are making to keep them out of debt.

 

None of that changes :
FoxHastings said: ↑
Multiple parents are a FACT OF LIFE for some...they cope as well as children in any other kind of marriage but much better when their parents are loving, happy, respectful.

 

I realize you do not understand marriage AT ALL and what those things mean and their purpose. I think we all get it.