PLEASE send a joke, a laugh or a prayer

I broke my ankle.

I am in a nonweightbearing cast.

I have metal screws and plates holding my anke bones together.

I will be fine eventually, although my days of dancing are limited. LOL

I see the orthopaedist next Monday morning.

Best to get some rest now,

 

The President has asked that we unite for a common cause. Since the hard-line Islamic Terrorists can not stand nudity, and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife, tomorrow night at 6:00pm EDT, all women should run out of their house naked to help weed out the terrorists.

The United States appreciates your efforts, and applauds you.

God bless America

 

This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, "Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a (*)(*)(*)(*) Democrat on my front porch and he's playing with himself."

"What?" the operator exclaimed.

"I said there is a (*)(*)(*)(*)ing Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send the police!" the little old lady repeated.

"Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat?"

"Because, you (*)(*)(*)(*) fool, if it was a Republican, he'd be (*)(*)(*)(*)ing somebody!"

 

AshenLady,

I am sorry to read of your situation.

I wish you a full and speedy recovery.

 

Thanx...whattadarling photo!!!

 

Great, great..rotflmao!!! *not quite yet*

 

Don't worry, I've had a terrible week too. Would you like to hear the story?

 

hahahhahahhaaha that's a GOOD one!!

Thanks loads, to each and all and keep those cards and letters coming in...

 

I am all ears..give it to me with your best storytelling.

 

hope you get well soon!

 

Ashenlady - while you are all ears and waiting, let me pass your time by telling you that our national rugby team has taken to spending three-and-a-half minutes before and after games at -160C, which is even colder in Fahrenheit, I'm sure. They say it heals 'em a day earlier too. Just lie there, think of the United States and remember you don't have to be frozen to get better. Oh, and for prayers all I can do is OM! Best wishes, whatever!

 

On Saturday, I got dirrahea. Sunday, someone ruined my pizza, when I cooked it in the oven, burnt bread got all over it. Monday, the handle to our tub broke, so we had to fix it. Tuesday, I got gyped out of $10. Wendesday, I had to walk home in the snow. And today, my computer did something weird, so I couldn't tell you the story.

 

Thank you so very much!!!!! I hope it's sooner than later, that's rer sure.

 

Funny and good luck to your rugby team, yes!!!!

 

"A lawyer, an economist, and a teacher were going to the bathroom. The lawyer gets done, washes his hands, and then proceeds to use almost the entire roll of paper towels to dry his hands. He says "I was taught to be thorough." The economist gets done, washes his hands, but uses only one paper towel. He says "I was taught to be environmentally friendly." The teacher gets done and leaves without washing his hands. He says "I was taught not to p*ss on my hands."


Hope you get well soon. God will always be with you!

I hope you like Yanni.
This song is very peaceful. Hope it can ease your pain.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMdbNMq2ifA"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMdbNMq2ifA[/ame]

 

gawd, that makes for a precarious thursday and/or friday.

I hope the diarrhea is over with.
I hope the pizza was salveageable.
Good luck with the fixing of the tub.
Good luck getting your ten bux back.
No walking in snow, yellow or otherwise.
Glad your computer is behaving itself; hope it continues, eha????

 

Take those pain meds preemptively! Trust me, after 4 knee surgeries I should know, ya gotta take 'em before you're in pain. Hope you get well soon!

 

Break a leg!

oh wait....

 

What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable?
















The wheel chair.

 

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?

















AIDS.

 

Do you get a celery for all these vegetable jokes...

get it..

"celery"....

"salary"

You're a fighter pilot, so I understand I have to explain things.

 

No joke coming through the pipes, just hoping them pain pills work well.

 

That was terrible. You're an airlift guy, so I understand you suck at landing a joke. Kaboom!

 

I made up some redneck jokes.

You might be a redneck if your mother has your password to facebook to tend your crops in farmville so they don't wither because your too busy and can't!

You might be a redneck if your slowing down traffic in the rain and you can't drive any faster on your scooter, because your afraid you'll wreck and drop your beer.