Breaking up with someone who is in love with you?

Seems to me that her comments about your brother hurt you pretty deep. I can see the the fact you guys are opposites politically but, sometimes that can actually be an attractive force. However, in a relationship like that you'd have to be willing to give and take more and, with the underlying animosity toward your brother you'd soon become unhappy and grumpy.

Maybe approach her with something like that. Sorry for your dilemma and I truly hope things even out for you. Good luck.

 

It is time....to be absolutely honest with her.

I am sorry this will probably hurt you and I do not want to....but there seems to be no future for us. And, though I think you are a genuinely good person, we are simply too different to be compatible.

 

Are you two in a relationship or a power struggle?

 

I attempted a break up conversation last night. Not sure if she gets it... I should be more direct (if that is possible).

Meh.

I have multiple times and that is one of my reasons for doing what I must do. Her reasoning is that I am the only person who has treated her well (she has been treated like (*)(*)(*)(*)), which is understandable. I can understand why she wants me to stick around. So much so that she wants me to be her first, which I simply will not partake in. I made up a series of excuses as to why we couldn't do it (she is most definitely attractive, so that is not the issue), simply because I do not even want that responsibility nor should she loose it to someone who does not connect with her (on what I I would consider) a meaningful level. I could be a dick and do it, but that is a dick thing to do.

Talking about her dog or how her cultish friends dislike me for my beliefs (automatically dislike me, haven't even met me, nor do I harbor interest in meeting them quite honestly) does not count as meaningful in my mind. I am really tired of the cultish friends topic. People are capable of creating boundaries. People have friends, friends have opinions, that does not mean that the friends can dictate your life. Set boundaries. Draw lines. It isn't that hard.

I loathe arguing over everything. There is a difference between arguing and discussing. On Saturday we were hiking an came across a bear. Gun comes out and instructions are given to retreat in the opposite direction. Could just be me, but when I say there is a frikken' bear >40yds. in front of us (that we startled), do not argue with me about the existence of a bear. If there is a frikken' bear >40yds. in front of us, what is the benefit in arguing a point of the bear's absence? Does it mean that much to be right while risking a close encounter with a frikken' bear >40yds. away?

I am not scared of bears. It is easier to avoid problems than deal with them. It is far easier to walk in a different direction rather hope that a sub compact 9mm is somehow going to stop a bear with twelve hollow points (i.e. insufficient penetration to stop a bear). Just sayin'.

She needs someone who can connect with her on what she would consider a meaningful level. She needs someone who respects her beliefs in a why she would find meaningful. I need those things. In fact, I strongly believe we all need those things in life, in our companions, and should not settle out of convenience with someone who does not share that with you.

Not so much hurt me, but simply pisses me off. Quite a bit. A religiously bigoted guy decided to bash my brother on his Facebook (not a good idea). My brother is far nicer than I am on such issues, very passive in his replies while still making a decisive point.

I crucified him in a fashion I avoid doing here (as I have no personal stake here). In my act of crucifixion (burning down every word and annihilating every space between his words as the *entire thing was bigoted, as well as destroying any Biblical basis against homosexuality as there is none), she tells me "Well, he has good points". That pissed me off, and said exactly what I thought about her views of homosexuality. Pissed me off almost as much as when she made an issue of my brother's homosexuality in front of my brother. Not quite as much as when she stated she should say something to my brother about her disgust should he and his boyfriend (his boyfriend is a good guy, the only one I have approved of thus far LOL) kiss in front of her.

I am tired of that. A "I'm getting there" attitude is not enough. I see it as bigotry. I was in favor of gay rights before my brother came out, after that I became militantly in favor of gay rights.

Exactly.

Exactly.

 

lol. sure you want to hurt her. **** her and the horse she rode in on, right? lol. SURELY you knew what you were getting into when you began this relationship. I bet you're hittin' it and the religion thing had no impact, excuse the pun, there, did it.

 

Actually, no. She did a pretty decent job of not divulging most of her views beforehand.

 

Maybe she doesn't love you as much as you think. Just end it... in a month, she'll be referring to you as 'what's his name'.

 

I can only hope.

 

What do you think she'll do... throw herself off a bridge or something?

 

1. How old is she?
2. Is she a virgin (kind of implied in one of your posts)?
3. Did she live in a sheltered life?

 

Just make sure she doesn't sell your baby after you dump her.

 

^LOL

She is emotionally unstable. Bridge? No. Emotional melt down? Probably.

I had to calm her down via phone over a house cleaning anxiety attack.

- - - Updated - - -

28

Yes

Yes. Which is why I know she can find someone at least a little more Christian than me and be happier as a result.

 

Enter here the busybody. The following was not written lightly or without serious thought.

(Insert lady friend name) over the past several weeks I have spent many hours considering the outlook for our relationship. Although we have some things of similar value, the predominant number of life's most important issues we hold diametrically opposing viewpoints. A relationship requires communication, and I find myself unable, uncomfortable and unwilling to have such in depth conversations due to the potential of your severe and continuing adverse reaction to my strongly held beliefs. After serious (and if you are willing to lie) and prayerful consideration, I believe it is best that we go forward on separate paths. It may not be worth a pinch of spit; however, I thought I would toss it out.

 

So surely you aren't still bedding her, are you...while you're determining how to break it off?

 

Depending on the kind of person they are it might be more difficult than you think. They might say they love you right up until you say you want to break up and then you see a whole other side you didn't know was there . But you know best I guess just be caring honest and remember how it felt when it happened to you once upon a time and remember tear's are almost a certainty...

 

IOW, it's not you, it's me.

 

Well, I did the dirty deed. I handled it as carefully as I could, did my very best to minimize damage... I sincerely hope I succeeded.

I await the fallout.

Nope.

 

She's got her church to turn to... she'll be fine. Who knows, one of the deacons might have his eye on her, just waiting til she was 'available. ' you might have done her a big favor. :thumbup:

 

Well at least she's no longer involved with some (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) that is going to discuss their private relationship on the (*)(*)(*)(*)ing internet.

So, yes, I think she's better off now.

 

Finally! Common ground!

ROFLMAO

 

It's not a "dirty" deed. The point of dating and "courting," is to get to know someone well enough to determine if this is a person you want to commit the time and energy into a serious relationship. If you don't have strong feelings towards her, why should you feel obligated to continue dating even if her feelings are unrequited.

Remember....

To love someone is nothing.
To be loved by someone is something.
To be loved by someone who you love, is everything.

 

I'm sure you have your good points...but you know that this is more than partly your fault. This is why Christian girls are so maligned. They get screwed around with by people they should not be in relationships with. For all I know she might be one of those secular Christians. Regardless, you narrow the field for everyone everytime you talk a young woman into sex. And you do yourself no good either. The Bible says you become as one when you have sex with someone. How long does that last. I get the feeling for a long long long time.

 

From what I can gather from this thread, I don't think Wolverine had sex with her.

 

This is true. However she takes such things to heart (which is saddening), and quite a few things to heart that she shouldn't. I have been the Dr. Phil defusing an emotional meltdown.
I sincerely hope that her support network comes to her side should she need it, as I have no malice. I just cannot continue participating in something that is almost certainly a dead end.

I had one ex text/harass me (without any replies on my part) for a year and a half after me throwing my hands in the air and said (*)(*)(*)(*) it. Hopefully something along those lines does not occur this time around. I dunno.

Never had sex with her, in fact, I was the one saying "no".

What is your point?

Provide her name and address and you might have a point.

Perhaps I inquire advice from people who have no personal attachment to the issue?