G.O.P. Unveils Immigration Plan: "We Must Make America Somewhere No One Wants to Live" By Andy Borowitz | newyorker.com | November 19, 2014 Excerpts: WASHINGTON - "Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell unveiled his party's long-awaited plan on immigration on Wednesday, telling reporters, "We must make America somewhere no one wants to live." Appearing with House Speaker John Boehner, McConnell said that, in contrast to President Obama's "Band-Aid fixes," the Republican plan would address "the root cause of immigration, which is that the United States is, for the most part, habitable." "For years, immigrants have looked to America as a place where their standard of living was bound to improve," McConnell said. "We're going to change that." Boehner said that the Republicans' plan would reduce or eliminate "immigration magnets," such as the social safety net, public education, clean air, and drinkable water. The Speaker added that the plan would also include the repeal of Obamacare, calling healthcare "catnip for immigrants." Attempting, perhaps, to tamp down excitement about the plan, McConnell warned that turning America into a dystopian hellhole that repels immigrants "won't happen overnight." "Our crumbling infrastructure and soaring gun violence are a good start, but much work still needs to be done," he said. "When Americans start leaving the country, we'll know that we're on the right track." In closing, the two congressional leaders expressed pride in the immigration plan, noting that Republicans had been working to make it possible for the past thirty years." read: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/boro...veil-immigration-plan?intcid=mod-most-popular ...... IMO: The old bat from Kentucky has finally leveled with the American public as to his true motivations now that the Koch Brothers, and republican super-pacs infuse billions of dollars to ensure their picks would win through sheer cash given to the willingly corrupt. But it takes a corrupt politician to accept money to do someone else's directions, so we know that Boehner and McConnell are corrupt as hell. McConnell's stated thoughts on American citizens shows exactly what he thinks of the voters that trudged to the polls to see if they could vote this year. He thinks votes are now secondary to the amount of cash given in a campaign to the people that they think will be the most advantageous to the big oil industry. And maybe he is right, but I believe in justice for the little guy in America, and hope it gets here soon as we wonder what will become of the rest of the middle class with McConnell and Boehner in power.
Seems like you seemed to have left off this part 286. Get news satire from The Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox.
More stupidity from the dutiful Gruberians. Borowitz illustrates how absolutely correct Gruber is about the Obamites. And they still are clueless as to why America overwhelmingly threw them out on their asses.
BIG BUSINESS will be ecstatic. AGRI-BUSINESS will be ecstatic. They are popping corks. THE UNITED STATES CHAMBER OF COMMERCE fought against it for at least 3 decades, E-VERIFY the very thing that would have kept the waves of ILLEGALS from coming over because they couldn't gotten jobs. The Republicans fought hard to keep that from happening. Keep them at the fringes, illegal and CHEAP and SCARED (the CHRISTIAN way).
In my opinion this is exactly what we need to do. We need to make the US worse for would-be immigrants then they place they are leaving. Do that and you can pull all the border guards and tear down the fence because there will not be anyone coming through. 1. Go after their employment. Set massive fines for any business hiring these guys for a first offence, second offence they lose their business license. We already know who is employing these immigrants so raid them twice a month. 2. Cut off all support to illegals. No schooling, no medical visits outside of emergency care, no welfare, no food stamps.....on and on. 3. Announce that any immigrant caught performing a crime will receive 3x the sentence a US citizen does, ship them to Maricopa County with Sherriff Joe to deal with. 4. Announce that these changes will take effect in 6 months to give them time to get the hell out.
What do you mean.....Koch Brothers and donations? You say......"it takes a corrupt politician to accept money to do someone else's directions." But you MUST know that Obama and the Dems accept huge donations from Warren Buffet who owns the BNSF that transports OIL by rail to the refineries...and has every interest that the Keystone NOT be okay'd? Sounds to me like Obama is being directed by his big money man Warren Buffet. Then there's George Soros....the Dems' BIG OIL MAN that they never discuss in that manner. Yes, he's the top investor in The Brazilian oil business....a HUGE oil man.....and invested at (curiously) the exact time that Obama was shutting the U.S. off-shore oil operations down. Why not before you go off on the Koch Brothers, look at your OWN big money men?????
Arizona passed the Legal Arizona Workers Act in 2007, allowing the state to suspend the licenses of businesses that "intentionally or knowingly" violate work-eligibility verification requirements. Companies would be required under that law to use E-Verify, a federal database to check the documentation of current and prospective employees. That database had been created by Congress as a voluntary, discretionary resource. The U.S. Chamber of Commerce filed a lawsuit against the state, arguing that federal law prohibits Arizona and other states from making E-Verify use mandatory. The group was supported by a variety of civil rights and immigration rights groups. The state countered that its broad licensing authority gives it the right to monitor businesses within its jurisdiction. The Obama administration recommended a judicial review and sided with businesses and civil rights groups. Let me add, it went to the USSC and Arizona won, but every Democrat judge on the court that voted, voted against Arizona. So tell me how it's just a Republican thing. Arizona is also a Republican state Doesn't quite go with what your trying to say that only Republicans are for big business does it?