Stanford Rape Case:Doesn't modern day, 3rd wave feminism have to share some blame?

First I hardly ever get shot down, Second what are these chicks doing going out to a bar if they don't want to be approached by a dude?

Oh they want to be approached by a dude alright - the right dude.

 

So the only reason a woman would want to go to a bar or club is to meet guys? Funny. I go to enjoy good music and some time with my friends. I've been with the same man since high school. No need to go find another one.

 

i need billable hours to go to bars, unless i want to try to barter with the owner for drinks.

i believe most guys have no problem if some women don't want to do us, as long as all of the other ones are harassing us for sex, and claiming real men don't complain.

 

No that's not the only reason woman go to clubs but most woman do go to clubs to meet men - single woman.

Look, if you're looking for a mate how do you find one? you go out and look for them and that requires social interaction...

How did you meet your boyfriend or whatever? I assume you can talk and he can talk?

This crap that men can't approach a woman and flirt is crazy nonsense... The real question here is when a woman wants none of it - yeah then the dude should go about his business but to say a dude can't walk up to a woman and show he is interested is nonsense.

What, woman can chose who they want to date but men cant?

 

Its not wise to assume anything about why people go and do what they do. Assuming that most women go to clubs to meet men is just as unwise.

And yes. It's fine to approach others. But have enough common sense to know when they don't want your attentions.

 

Most guys wouldn't want to be with a woman that doesn't want them....

That's the difference between normal dudes and rapists.

 

No it's not unwise....

Being a fool sitting back not assuming woman are looking for men at clubs would be unwise.....

You wouldn't have been born if your daddy didn't hit on your mommy....

Look if you're a female and not interested then just say so, but it's not weird for men to seek woman or for woman to seek men.

Do you assume all men that go out are looking for woman? because they're not.... I don't go out much anymore (because it's boring) but it's not like a woman has ever walked up to me and hit on me and for whatever reason I wasn't interested at that moment - but I don't condemn it....

 

Either my sarcasm detector is on the fritz, or you misunderstood my post. I was merely saying people have the right to show off their bodies without the fear of being raped. It had nothing to do with you personally as I do not know you.

 

You completely missed my point. Read it again. I said have enough common sense to know if a woman is interested. Meaning of she's just there hanging with her friends not paying attention to anyone else in the crowd she's probably not there looking for a guy. If she's sent a dozen other men away she's likely tired of having her evening interupted.

 

But it doesn't have to be like that. If it pisses you off, change it! Take some personal responsibility. Push for harsher punishments for rapists. The reason why people are so upset over the Stanford incident is that the rapist only got 6 months of jail. 6 months! Hell, you get 5 years of jail for having a gram of LSD. If there was a mandatory life sentence for rapists, you would see rape incidents drop through the floor.

Rape happens even to women who are conscious, dressed modestly and in their homes. Blaming a women not doing any of those things for her rape is bull(*)(*)(*)(*) since it still may have happened.

 

Well she mentioned something about the image being photoshopped. Who knows? People do all kinds of things to photos nowadays with computer editing programs.

Thanks for the compliment but it's not a "mugshot." It's just a selfie. Lol.

 

common sense, personal experiences, just look at the response here from people like Chris to males being raped, sadly many do not believe men can be raped and ridicule them if they tell

same is true of women, in an environment where women are ridiculed for being raped.... they are less likely to report the rape.. common sense

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I think women (young and old) are quite aware of rape being a possibility. A lot of younger college aged or high school aged women are just impulsive and reckless. That has less to do with any kind of feminism than it has to do with their age. Younger people seem to think that bad things won't happen to them. I agree, the guy who rapes an unconscious woman is a total creep, not to mention a real weirdo. I do agree that if you plan on getting trashed like that, you should have some friends with you that you can at least count on. I remember several times (I had a friend who used to drink a real lot), being the person who would help my friend home and help her get into bed and give her a bucket to puke in. That's what REAL friends do. They don't just abandon their really drunk or passed out friend.

Okay, but at first you acted as if you were offended by the image of a half nude woman.

Personally, I wouldn't put such pictures of myself out for public viewing. That just screams "attention seeking," and usually those types of people have some issues. Of course, that may not be the case and sometimes they may just be "artistic impressions." I think such things are meant for private though. But that's just me.

In some ways better, and in some ways not. Nothing is 100% or 100% bad when it comes to these things. Everything has its pros and cons.

Well, all I can say about that is that if you posted a pic like that to begin with, it is a bit strange that you would feel "intimidated" because someone commented on it enough to remove it/change it. I mean, I'm sure most women know that putting up such a picture is going to attract some kind of attention, and most of it negative.

Lol. Well, there are different types and different views of feminism I suppose. I can't argue this point though, I always thought that feminism was the "desexualization" of a woman. I guess for some, it probably means embracing your sexuality and using it . . . for what purpose and to what ends I'm not sure. Strange is the woman who bares all and then gets offended when men (being men) sexualize it though, IMO. Never did really understand that.

Look, I kind of understand what you are saying, but you must realize that such comments are exactly what make some women hesitant to come forward when they are raped. They feel as though they are not only violated once with the sexual assault, but that people kind of violate them again as far as playing the "blame game." Do you see where I'm coming from? That needs to stop because it really isn't the victim's fault. The blame lies 100% on the criminal who violated the victim.

Yes, but there are plenty of people who do not take precautions. That doesn't mean they deserve to be "punished" either.

 

I see....so you just made it up to make a point.

 

Well, my apologies. Perhaps I got a bit carried away with this topic. However, (and this may sound pretty "sexist" of me - LOL and I'm probably going to hear about it), I do believe that MOST men would find it rather erotic if a woman took advantage of him in such conditions as long as she was half-way decent looking. That may be the reason WHY a lot of men would not report such an incident as a "rape." With women who are raped, I believe most of them who don't report it, do not report it because of shame, fear of retribution, knowing their reputations will be tarnished, etc., etc. Women who are raped and who do file charges are sometimes torn apart in the court system. Even if a woman has a past history of being "loose," no still means no.

Now, if this incident happened as you say and you felt as if you were violated by this woman, then you have my sincerest apologies.

 

so if a drunk women rapes me when I am passed out, you saying she is not mostly to blame?

are you saying the same about the drunk man in this case?

I think you were not following what we were discussing, so giving you a chance to respond

"if you get passed out drunk and a drunk women takes advantage of you.... you are partly to blame, most of the blame is on the drunk women,"

the drunk women in the above quote was the one that raped me while passed out.....

basically what I am saying is I shared some of the blame, because I got in that condition, but that does not excuse the rapist.. but having said that, neither I or the women in the story would of most likely been raped had we not drank so much that night.. I learned from the experience, hopefully others learn from my experience as well

the rapist is 100% to blame for his or her actions, that doesn't mean one is not to blame for their own actions as well

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I'm sure it does but I still think it's rather rare. Many young men report not being able to achieve or maintain erection when they are drunk because alcohol tends to have that effect on people. It is a depressant and can also make you rather "numb" when you've had too much.

 

That's just one of the reasons why I RARELY get drunk anymore. You turn into a stupid twit in a lot of instances. BUT that doesn't mean you ever deserve to be raped or attacked in any way. It's weird how these standards are applied to rape victims. If a person was passed out and was punched and beat, nobody would blame the person who was passed out.

 

agree, being drunk doesn't excuse one from raping someone either.... but if your looking for the truth, it can play a role in the event

had either I not drank so much or the girl that raped me not drank so much... the rape never would of happened.. that is just the reality of it

doesn't excuse the rapist actions... but being able to see the truth of how it could of been prevented and possibly prevent yourself from being in that same situation again if possible is always wise

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many men and women have rape fantasies... most if really raped would not of wanted that to happen to them....

but, I do partly agree with you, I would of been much more upset if she was grotesque or a man.....

no means no, even if it's the man saying no... and passed out ALWAYS means no

thank you, and as I said, I have no hard feelings against that women, hardly ever think of it anymore, it happened almost 40 years ago, I learned from the incident and never put myself in that position again

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Men may face "ridicule" but in our culture of double standards, women are really torn apart. They are called sluts, people will say they deserved it or they were asking for it, their past histories will be brought up in some instances, sometimes they are threatened too.

 

i don't mind if a girlfriend comes over, gets me drunk, and tries to get me to sing karaoke.

 

Right. There is a definite difference between a fantasy and reality. Most women fantasizing about rape are fantasizing about being raped by Brad Pitt or someone they find attractive. Lol. In reality, rape is not like that, and you feel violated and angry and depressed. Besides, if it is a person that you WANT to have sex with, it really isn't "rape." You can't rape the "willing" as the saying goes.

Yes, being passed out is not ever an invitation to sex in any way, shape or form. To me, that is no better than taking advantage of a mentally challenged person or a child who are incapable of consent.

 

There is a completely different biology between a concuious and unconcious erections. One has to do with arrousal (either wanted or unwanted arousal) and it being numb or mentally numb to what's going on can make it difficult for them to stay hard when they're drunk.

The other is called a spontaneous erection that happens multiple times during their sleep cycle including while they are passed out drunk. They can be some of the hardest erections they have.

Sorry for the edit

 

Well, that's not what I've read about being passed out from alcohol. I read just the opposite, including reports from men on Ask.com.