I will probably come under a lot of fire for saying this but...

Yes, you are shallow. But, aren't we all? Anyone who pulls the "outside<inside" is obviously just trying to be a Good Christian or something.

Guys want pretty/hot girls and girls want handsome/hot guys. It's just the way it is.

 

The Fan Club has written that down. Thank you.

 

I believe the concept of shallow has been extended too far. It implies that our primal needs don't matter.

Having spent a lot of time learning what women do in the dating world, I found that many have lists. Some have very long lists. They aren't picking men with their hearts. They are trying to reduce dating to the equivalent of a employment application. We have been warned for years that romantic love doesn't last - with the implication that it doesn't matter. So many women not only ignore it, they even scoff at it.

I will never forget this one woman who went on for pages [literally] about how she and her boyfriend of five years or so were perfect for each other. But he wouldn't commit and she couldn't figure out why. She explained in great deal how they were perfect for each other; how he was the perfect boyfriend and would make the perfect husband. But he just wouldn't go any further and she was asking for insights.

So I pointed out to her that in her five or six pages of reasons why they were perfect, she never once said she loved him.

When I met my first sugar baby, I fell madly in love almost at first sight. If someone asked me why I would have married her, my answer took one sentence. I loved her more than life itself.

It was primal. It was inexplicable. It was incapacitating and overwhelming. I will never completely get over her. It was the most powerful experience of my life. I didn't know it was possible to love someone so much. In comparison, I loved my ex wife. I was in love several times. But nothing in my life can begin to compare to the love I found in the most unlikely situation. We had three years. Those three years were better than the forty-five years that came before.

I think love like that is worth the search. And I don't think most people find it. I think that is partly because we think too much and ignore our instincts. Had I known long ago what I know now, I NEVER would have married my x wife. We had a comfortable love. I will settle for nothing less than primal passion again.

 

I agree. We are animals with basic needs and strong preferences that come with them.

Why shouldn't women be picky though? Of course it is in their greatest interest to find someone who treats them well and, more importantly, makes a good father. I doubt women have actual checking-lists in their handbags, but most of them - just like men - have some basic requirements and standards when looking for a partner. Which is good. Anything else is a sign of poor self-esteem and lack of self-respect which will end her up in a situation where she is constantly being used and never being loved.

From what you just explained it kind of seems self-explanatory that she loved him imo.

 

considering you consider yourself to be "ugly", maybe you shouldn't be soo superficial

 

True - just don't marry them??

 

If you and I knew each other we certainly wouldn't be best friends, but that's a good post.

 

Thanks, Bear. You are too kind.

Hmm...maybe I am not a 6 after all...

Lol! Thanks for the laugh, Mike.

You are literally the oldest person I have ever come across on the internet. No offense meant.

You have no trouble posting your pictures online because you are a good-looking lady.

I just turned 38 this month.

 

None taken

 

you claim to be "ugly" and yet you only want to date very very good looking men?

frankly, with all due respect, such an attitude is a great recipe for perpetual virginity, singlehood and lonelyness.

expand your horizons and dont be soo judgemental

 

I don't see where she claimed to be "ugly." She said she was "average looking" which in no way means "ugly." And no, she will probably not be lonely or stuck in perpetual virginity. It's very EASY for a woman to "get some." Too easy. That is because you men are sluts. Lol.

 

Maybe, as in this case, it's a question of wishful thinking . . .

"Manipulative Jemma Beale, 25, claimed she was attacked by the strangers over three years - which saw one man wrongly jailed and her handed compensation for her 'nightmare ordeal'"

I mean WTF made her think even for a split second that anyone would believe it?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/attention-seeker-who-made-up-11045888

 

I think social media gives some women a distorted view of their own desirability. She may actually think she is hot because of "likes" on Instagram or Facebook.

 

That is exactly how I imagine the average British chick to look.

No offense, m8.

 

Does that make you a Virgo? If yes, then we have the reason behind your problem.

 

Become a more attractive mate for the opposite sex of the species.

Things this can include:

Becoming easier on the eyes.
Wearing fashionable clothes.
Not being an uptight d***.
Being wealthy.
Being in the middle between clingy and not clingy.

Pretty basic stuff here.

 

I thought it was Too Much Information?

 

After reading through this thread carefully, and at the risk of further offending the OP...here is my honest and seriously meant to assist evaluation:

You should drop the physical beauty mirage and focus on the person.
Self confidence seems to be an issue and can be a major turn off to the very individuals you are seeking.
"Men" of quality do not generally place your 1-10 hotness rating as the primary quality in a mate...boys do.
If you project that you are a catch, he will eventually come to YOU.
Everyone can be beautiful to those who look deeply, if they actually are.

 

How hard can it be for a woman to get a partner anyways? If it is true she is "above average", all she has to do is approach a random guy of her choice and ask him out. Only thing that is against her is age; I assume most men her age are taken.

 

Biggest attraction is a smile. Can't tell you how many women look unapproachable because they look at me like I am a rapist. LOL

I have a lady friend that smiles at everyone and she gets hit on all the time. She considers herself a 6. I have also found good looking women rate themselves lower on that scale then less attractive women.

Clothes and makeup help of course but not clown makeup which I see too many women use, in other words subtle.

In my sixties and still have women say I am attractive but I smile, still have hair, and am tall.