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Tasteless Humor

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Jul 19, 2014.

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  1. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    Derideo_Te, Jan 21, 2018
    #376
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  2. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Sallyally, Jan 21, 2018
    #377
    Mr_Truth, ThelmaMay and Derideo_Te like this.
  3. ibobbrob

    ibobbrob Well-Known Member

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    Comedian Billy Crystal once said "A woman needs a reason to have sex. A man just needs a place."
     
    ibobbrob, Jan 21, 2018
    #378
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  4. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I successfully robbed a bank yesterday.

    I haven't got a clue what I'm going to do with all this sperm.
     
    Nonnie, Jan 21, 2018
    #379
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  5. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I still feel quite shook up from yesterday, I was involved in a violent mugging.

    On the plus side, I did make quite a few bucks out of it.
     
    Nonnie, Jan 21, 2018
    #380
  6. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Just watching Hillary supporters explaining why they voted for her.

    Behind all the wailing and crying, all I could make out was, "waah waah... The polls..sniff waah ...said we .... boo hoo... were entitled.... waah waah sniff.... to win.... boo hoo waah waah sniff sob"
     
    Nonnie, Jan 21, 2018
    #381
  7. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Care to try that in English? I couldn't make sense of your gibberish.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jan 21, 2018
    #382
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  8. Moonglow

    Moonglow Well-Known Member

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    You know how it is for the short bus kids..
     
    Moonglow, Jan 21, 2018
    #383
  9. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Obviously too technical for you. Take out all the Liberal crying; waah's, boo hoo's, sniffs and sobs and try again. If you still struggle, ask a child or your carer to help.
     
    Nonnie, Jan 21, 2018
    #384
  10. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    A guy and his wife were sat at home. He was throwing peanuts up, catching them in his mouth and eating them. When he threw one up, in walked his daughter and her boyfriend. As he turned his head to see who came in, the peanut landed in his ear.

    Try as he might, he couldn't remove the peanut. His daughter's boyfriend said, "Can I try?". He inserted two fingers into the nostrils of his girlfriend's dads nose and said, "Blow". Sure enough, the peanut shot out. He thanked the young lad and his daughter and her boyfriend left.

    The guys wife came over and said, "What a wonderful lad, I wonder what he will be when he's much older?". The guy replied, "Well, by the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law".
     
    Nonnie, Jan 21, 2018
    #385
  11. Moonglow

    Moonglow Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Moonglow, Jan 21, 2018
    #386
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  12. Moonglow

    Moonglow Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Moonglow, Jan 21, 2018
    #387
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  13. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Sheila walked into the kitchen to find Bruce stalking around with a fly swatter.
    "What are you doing?" She asked.
    "Hunting Flies" He responded.
    "Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
    "Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
    Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
    He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
     
    Sallyally, Jan 21, 2018
    #388
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  14. Thingamabob

    Thingamabob Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Thingamabob, Jan 22, 2018
    #389
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  15. Thingamabob

    Thingamabob Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Last edited: Jan 22, 2018
    Thingamabob, Jan 22, 2018
    #390
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  16. Thingamabob

    Thingamabob Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Last edited: Jan 22, 2018
    Thingamabob, Jan 22, 2018
    #391
  17. ThelmaMay

    ThelmaMay Well-Known Member

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    Offensive-Jokes.png
     
    ThelmaMay, Jan 22, 2018
    #392
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  18. ThelmaMay

    ThelmaMay Well-Known Member

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    Half dressed redneck couple sitting on couch watching news on TV with man's arm around the woman. The man says "Lookit them homo-sekshuls a ruining the sanctity of our institution. We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man, one woman. Right, Darlin'" The woman replies, "That's right, Daddy."
     
    ThelmaMay, Jan 22, 2018
    #393
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  19. ThelmaMay

    ThelmaMay Well-Known Member

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    Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder: Firstly, the DNA all matches and secondly, there are no dental records.
     
    ThelmaMay, Jan 22, 2018
    #394
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  20. ThelmaMay

    ThelmaMay Well-Known Member

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    Lady: Do you drink?
    Man: Yes
    Lady: How much a day?
    Man: Three 6 packs
    Lady: How much per 6 pack
    Man: about $10.00
    Lady: And how long have you been drinking?
    Man: 15 years
    Lady: So 1 6 pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10,800 correct?
    Man: Correct
    Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct?
    Man: Correct
    Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't drank, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
    Man: Do you drink?
    Lady: No
    Man: Where's your ****ing Ferrari then?
     
    ThelmaMay, Jan 22, 2018
    #395
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  21. ThelmaMay

    ThelmaMay Well-Known Member

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    I was telling a girl in the pub about my uncanny ability to guess the day a woman was born just by feeling their breasts.

    "Really?" she said. "Go on then... Try."

    After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.

    "Come on," she demanded, "What day was I born on?"

    "Yesterday?" I replied.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2018
    ThelmaMay, Jan 22, 2018
    #396
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  22. ThelmaMay

    ThelmaMay Well-Known Member

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    An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area."

    "Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"
     
    ThelmaMay, Jan 22, 2018
    #397
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  23. Thingamabob

    Thingamabob Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Thingamabob, Jan 22, 2018
    #398
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  24. Thingamabob

    Thingamabob Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Q: What do you say with a man falls overboard?

    A: ”Man overboard!”

    Q: What do you say when a woman falls overboard?

    A: ”Full speed ahead!”
     
    Thingamabob, Jan 22, 2018
    #399
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  25. ibobbrob

    ibobbrob Well-Known Member

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    You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friend's nose.
     
    ibobbrob, Jan 22, 2018
    #400
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