Why today’s young men are terrified of sex... Any truth to this, or are y'all geezers outdated...

My experiences have been every woman I've dated could do nothing wrong and if you brought up something you thought they did wrong they all got upset and shut down all actual conversation on the topic. Then they went to their friends and their friends gave them the "girl your amazing you don't deserve that". All the ones I've dated have been that way and it's either because society tells them they are always right or it's a biological thing.

On top of those personality things they also have the courts to use as weapons to get their way and they all know it anymore. So basically they all had this idea that they were a princess and therefore deserved a fairytale and if that wasn't delivered any action like leaving taking you to court or cheating was actually your fault not theirs.

 

Oh lord, you guys and your crackpot conspiracy theories.

If you actually want to solve a problem, you have to start by being grounded in reality.

 

Indeed,

-- men get 63% longer sentence for the same crime

-- male victims of DV are more likely to be arrested/prosecuted then helped

-- men accused of Sexual Misconduct are presumed guilty

-- there is a continuum of misandry in EAP (Media)

Anyone who talks about these issues offline is fired and blacklisted.

Sadly most men do not care enough even to engage in safe online activism.

 

They'll dip and dodge those inconvenient facts though..

 

I understand that most men and women who value men are afraid to speak offline. We live in a Totalitarian Society.

I would never understand why the vast majority of men do not even protest online.

 

Because we're either conditioned by society or it's our biological tendency to pretend we've never been hurt and that we're super men and that even though it happens to Bill Ted and Allan it'll never happen to us. That was my view up until it happened to me

 

In my opinion, it is extremely unethical to silently accept injustice.

Of course, no one can speak offline for the fear of firing and blacklisting. But there are many opportunities for online activism.

 

From my view when I was younger I didn't know the game so to speak was rigged or rigged to the extent that it is. I thought the other men getting screwed were just dumb and since I'm not it wouldn't happen to me. I've realized that your intelligence doesn't matter if the game is totally fixed from the get go. Since then I try to bring men's issues up when I think it's relevant to the discussion.

 

Absolutely. In fact we have often commiserated over the perpetual victim complex their mothers have. As do most young people, they reject the world view of their parents. They don't want to be perpetual complainers who feel sorry for themselves, like their mothers.

Mother, sisters, aunts, wives of friends, women online, relationship forums... I'm not stupid. I'm not judging women based on one example. I have probably witnessed hundreds of examples if not something in the thousands. Even in public with complete strangers, on occasion you can catch women berating their husbands for whatever. And you see it on TV all the time. Degrading and slandering men is considered humor. If the same jokes were made about women, they would be marching in the streets.

The women's movement taught two or three generations of women to look down on men as something less than they are. And they literally blame men for all of their woes in life. Obviously it doesn't apply to ALL women that age but a large percentage to be sure.

I don't think it has anything to do with increased narcissism. It is the perpetual victim complex instilled by the women's movement.

In a nutshell, they were never taught to shut their damn mouths once in a while and just be nice.

 

Thanks for your patience on getting back to you. She's mostly looking for something she can where while out running. That's when she gets harassed the most and there was even a guy who started following her in his truck last time she was out. I can think of a couple of ways something like this might work, though, so thanks!

 

BTW, I actually looked up the OK Cupid survey in question. The actual findings blow your victim narrative out of the water.

It turns out that what you had to say about the distribution of attractiveness attribution (we'll get back to that in a second) is true . . . but you forgot about the other half of the story you cited. Whoops! You see, men give women a perfect curve when rating their attractiveness on OK Cupid . . . but their willingness to actually contact these women is completely lopsided. They rate them on a curve, but they only want to contact women at the TOP of the scale for a date.

Women in the survey were precisely the opposite: they had a lopsided measure of attractiveness . . . but they also had a lopsided willingness to message men . . . in the opposite direction. They were MORE likely to contact men that they rated as lower than average than they were to contact men that they rated as above average. In fact, a man's willingness to contact a woman at the BOTTOM of the attractiveness curve was roughly the same as the willingness of a woman to contact a man on the TOP of the attractiveness curve.

Who (besides me) could have predicted that a little bit of homework would destroy the victim narrative?

Try adopting a protagonist narrative instead. It helps.

Other research has shown there are many things you can do to improve the attractiveness of that OK Cupid photo you seem so concerned about: don't slouch or cross your arms, include a dog, don't smile too much, and maintain well-groomed stubble instead of being clean shaven or sporting a full beard.

And when you meet in person, turns out that below-average looking men aren't the helpless victims you portray them as. Research shows that in speed dating, while attractiveness is the most important factor, it isn't the only factor, and things like intelligence, a sense of humor, and ambition go a long way. Well, they go a long way for men trying to attract women. Men get weird about it. They rate intelligence and ambition as attractive in a women UNTIL it surpasses their own, then intelligence and ambition become unattractive. There's that toxic insecurity we were talking about earlier. As for sense of humor, women (according to the same research) tend to rate sense of humor based on how good their perspective partner is at making others laugh . . . while men tend to rate sense of humor in a woman based on how often the woman laughs at their jokes. Woof. More insecurity.

And we are still talking about dating websites and speed dating . . . which are entirely based on first impressions. You are wrong even when it comes to those but, more importantly, that isn't how most men meet their long-term mates. Them meet them as acquaintances in their own social circles . . . you know, where you get to demonstrate things like intelligence and a sense of humor.

I don't expect you to listen to any of these facts as they challenge your preconceptions, but if you really are struggling with finding a date, this info could help. I'll probably start another thread about it soon just because I see this kind of victim narrative pop up way too often and discouraged men could use a lot more of a protagonist mindset and a lot less he-man-woman-hater-club incel bitching and moaning.

 

It's not a "victim narrative," dishonest and fallacious, not surprised, but was my perfectly reasonable answer to the thread question. No idea why you are so hung up on hypergamy. It's a fact, a well-documented female behavior, whether you, your wife, or whichever one of you is posting this likes it or not.

Lots of typing for an irrelevant, failed red herring attempt. The above has absolutely nothing to do with the claim that women tend to rate men lower in attractiveness than men tend to rate women generally.

Are you addled? I have already corrected you on this once, but it seems to no avail. -I- and -my- personal experiences are neither the topic of this thread nor the foundation of my posts to it. Will you get it through your rock head this time? Not that it matters, but I've never had trouble attracting women either in person or using OLD. Just another zany red herring.

More non responsive, rambling red herring. As is your -perpetual- habit on this forum, you have not honestly or directly addressed my posts, starting with my first post to the thread. You have instead posted head-scratching red herring and deflection after deflection. It is apparently beyond your ability to simply say "I disagree with the above, here are the reasons why." Instead, it's always straw man, seizing on tangents and outright irrelevance, and misdirection. Maybe you need to look into that.

More irrelevant red herring and ramble.

 

That is why I stayed at the table snorting the rocky mountains...

 

Ah, it appears you forgot your own post. You see, you tried to claim, based on this data, that more than half of all men have no hope of ever having sex. I understand if you would prefer to forget that corollary. It is quite embarrassingly bonkers.

The same survey that showed that women tend to rate men lower in attractiveness than men tend to rate women also showed that men cared far more about these ratings than women did . . . that men preferred to contact women for dates who were at the top level of this attractiveness while women preferred to contact men on the bottom. But continue dodging the facts that destroy your victim narrative. The facts might give men hope, after all. Can't have that. Hope is less useful than hate.

 

Stop mischaracterizing my posts. Not surprised at the dishonesty from you, but stop doing it.

"This leads to a majority of men having no prospects for sex at all, utterly ignored by women"

is what I posted, quite a bit different than "more than half of all men have no hope of ever having sex." "Prospects" and "ever having" are two obviously different states. No "prospects" is a situation that can be changed with great effort.

Repeating the red herring won't make it less fallacious.

 

How do I put a bowing smiley on this post!!!

In my line of work I can't tell you how much of this I have seen!!

Boys who felt defective because they weren't "good boys" if they weren't on drugs.

 

I disagree.

To a seasoned man? Perhaps not.
But the op is about first timers.

Yes, I can definitely see how it would significantly up the insecurity factor for young guys.

If that insecurity leads you to porn addiction... I've seen that Ted Talk on the great porn experiment too. Some guys are really struggling with the consequences.