When you speak to someone, you don’t refer to them in the 3rd person It isn’t like someone comes up to me and says “hey, how was HIS weekend?” So how does all this stuff even happen with using the wrong pronoun? I get it if you say sir instead of ma’am or something like that Anyway, I think it’s much easier to start the convos with “hey” or “psssst” with no gender specific pronouns at all Y’all getting worked up over something completely avoidable
Who is suggesting you speak TO someone in the third person? Who is suggesting that the word 'you' is offensive?
You could just use “they”. Which is third person singular. “I wanted to hang out with your friend the other day. But they were busy.” Or “somebody lost their phone”.
I've always tried to be open about grammar. So many of the old rules are based on custom rather than reason. This pronoun stuff has me confused because there is a valid reason for gender pronouns. I have to keep reminding myself that all language is nothing more than sounds we make that have common meanings. It wasn't too long ago that my daughter-in-law informed me that she no longer accepted the use of gender pronouns, and in some cases, nouns. Her children are not allowed to call her "Mom" any more, and we are not allowed to refer to her as her or she. I want to be open-minded about this, but I don't understand why it's considered wrong to reference her gender. She's not a lesbian, nor does she consider herself masculine. So, why is it now wrong to be a Mom? I always looked at that as an honorable thing, not a slur. 'They,' as a third person singular, is a throw back to the days of Chaucer (just before it was dumped--around the same time those thee, thy, thine, etc. pronouns became popular). Yet, referring to a group of people as 'they' makes 'they' a plural pronoun. Why not use 'it,' which is universally singular as opposed to 'they,' which is more of a trendy re-purposing that can lead to some confusion about how many people are being referred to? 'It' is impartial, gives no preference to gender or anything else. If Bob wrecked their car, does that mean Bob is a co-owner of the car? If Mary changed their mind, does Mary have multiple personalities? How many different ways can we say that before we muddle everything up? It kind of reminds me of Ayn Rand's "Anthem," and the use of "we" instead of "I" as a way to erase individuality. And here we have one group that wants to dump gender pronouns/sexual references, and another group that spends a lot of time and money expressing, or even flaunting their gender and sexuality. But that's just me being confused. [/rant]