You know you're an old fart if - - -

you once had cuffs put on the bottom of your trousers.

 

You know you are old if laugh at jokes that have no profanity, understand that socialism is a disease, support the police and the military, went to school for academic reasons (not political ones), understand the joy of achievement, love your family, remember when America had borders, and love your country.

 

I appreciate your politicizing my thread. Thanks.

 

Hey, insulting the cuffs on my trousers, my French cuffs and cuff links, my "penny loafers", and my collar stays required a strong response.

 

How is saying that you once had cuffs on the bottom of your trousers insulting them?

I was about to say if you remember the negotiation sound of an old 300 baud modem connecting to the internet. It is not meant to insult people that used modems or still use them but if you ask most young people they do not know it is.

 

And it gets worse. I took a quiz for boomers online recently. They asked you to identify pictures of things no longer in use. One picture was labeled "Mimeograph Machine". In actuality, it was mimeograph PAPER in an old fashioned manual typewriter. The drum style actual mimeograph MACHINE was not in the picture at all. So not only are THINGS passing from the collective memory... but MEMORIES of things are passing too. Sadly, I believe that in many cases, we can add civility, patriotism, ideals and many similar things to the list with the mimeograph machine.

 

Or now have a "shine" on the seat of the ones you're wearing.

 

By the way, your name intrigues me. During Desert Storm where we were in a Coalition with some muslim nations like Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and others, the favorite song of our muslim Coalition fellow warriors was "Onward Christian Soldiers"

 

Don't for get your flat top haircut!

 

This thread reminds me of some clips I watched on Youtube.

 

I consider myself old or mature but I had no idea what a mimeograph machine is. I had to google to see some pictures of one and to be honest I have never seen one before. It looks like an old printing press.

 

Teachers used mimeograph machines. They typed the tests on special paper (manual typewriter). Then they wrapped the paper around the mimeograph machine drum, then turned a crank and it spewed out copies. It was a true mess with ink everywhere. There were no computers and no copying machines back then.
My first experience with a computer was in college. We had to fill out IBM punch cards to make it work. The stacks of cards would be inches thick and if you made a mistake you had to examine every card individually to find a problem. The first time I saw anything that looked like a PC was in the early 1980's in the Army. We had great big floppy disks (about 8 inches by 8 inches). There was no hard drive so you put one disk in with the program, and another in to give you file memory. My first "printer" was a typewriter that connected to my desk top.
My favorite story bout how far we have come concerns my father. He was born in 1913. He had appendicitis as a teenager and remembers them wheeling up a barbecue with a hot iron to cauterize the wound. I had triple bypass heart surgery in 2014. The closed up the huge incision using some sort of medicinal super glue and it didn't hurt a bit (I was seriously doped up for about 12 days and never felt any pain).

 

I pay twice for a tank of gasoline what I paid for my first car, and I paid 25 cents per gallon to fuel the thing.

 

Speaking of fuel - I remember when a person had bragging rights if they owned a car that got better than 10 miles to the gallon.

 

I had a '75 T-Bird. 460 C.I. that , if I babied it and drove really careful, could get 11 MPG... or I could drive the hell out of it and get 12 mpg. you know how I drove it.

 

And that classic, you know you are old when you crouch down to pick up the pencil you dropped and think about what else you can do while you are down there.

 

When you go out in your slippers and the backs are trodden down.

 

An old classmate I'd not seen in 48 years dropped by.. most of the conversations was about oour vrious aliments and trips to the doctor.

 

If every time you get up from a chair you have to make a plan on how to do it.

 

The whole point about being ancient is that you manage to shift your bowels before they shift themselves.

 

yippers, we covered that, I offered Joey a padded and comfortable office chair, he opted for the stool as he wasn;t sure he'd be able to get out of the chair,,,,

then we talked about our mother's dementia.. and then we talked about our forgettfullness too,

 

I started wearing vintage clothes a few years back because they werte made with buttons for suspenders..

I had been bragging to my wife that I must be losing wieght because my pants were loose and always slipping down she told me "your butt disappeared" I DIDN'T know! I always saw old men with hteir jeans hanging like hood rats and tho't it must be some old man cool. I knew the reactions would slow, the hair would get thin, hearing and eyesight would diminish. but I didn't even think about the butt disappearing! Before I started wearing suspendors,, to keep my pants up, I had to cinch my belt so tight that I couldn't breathe if I bent a little in the middle.

 

It's not necessarily that you are losing weight, it's that it starts rearranging itself. The butt flattens, but the lower belly expands. Shoulder bulk slides down into your armpits.

Let's not discuss hair, where it left, and where it went....

 

You peer not through, but over the top of your glasses