For those heterosexual males out there who are either too inexperienced or naive enough, it is the female of our species that chooses us, not the other way around. If you believe this is not the case, either you are due for a sobering wake-up call or you have seriously under-achieved. Be that as it may... Dating [for the purposes of securing a long-term committed relationship, i.e., marriage] is a process that might better be referred to as, "Applying for The Position," and come with a series of consumer protections no less stringent than what you might receive when applying for a business loan at any FDIC insured/Federal Reserve/SEC regulated bank. So you go out hoping that this time your date will meet the criteria of what might constitute a desirable mate, i.e., is she attractive, intelligent, well-spoken, pleasant to be with, kind and considerate, would she make a good wife, a good mother, etc. On the other side of the table, the woman you are sizing up is making your assessment seem positively amateurish as she has a ten page detailed application imprinted into her brain [one of the many apps the extra x chromosome has programmed in]. While you are taking note of her smile and dainty fingers, she is running the numbers and if your score is below xy, you lose. She will cast you off like a moldy tub of tofu. On to the next applicant... Yes, while we are looking for a really nice person to share our lives and good fortune, she is looking for somebody who can do all of the following...work long and hard, pay all of the bills, fix anything that's broken, take care of all the domicile maintenance, take care of all vehicles, be on 24/7 alert to any other issues that might come up, and do anything else that she would like you to do...asap. In exchange for your loyalty and conscientiousness, she gets to spend HER money on enhancing HER lifestyle. She would love to make you a sandwich but really isn't into food prep [that's so last generation]. Btw, where are we going out to eat tonight? She'll do her own laundry but you're on your own for yours'. She reserves the right to do whatever she wants whenever she wants...no questions asked. For the first couple of years she will agree to have sex with you but it will only be granted for any good behavior over and above what is expected. The nice jewelry stipulation states that any unexpected gift of [real, that is, expensive] jewelry will afford you a free sex pass to be used within 24 hours of receipt [or if the appraised value of the jewelry is unacceptable, forget it]. That's it. After she files for divorce [because she thinks she can get a much better deal elsewhere], you will pay for years to come still trying to figure out what the hell happened. This is obviously satire and I am not saying that all women are like this, but many are which is why guys [in increasing numbers] are passing on the entire relationship thing. It truly is a shame because once upon a time women used to be really nice to be with [sometimes :].
That's what I was saying 2 years ago. Now I'm divorced after 30 years of marriage and doing much better.
Weeeelll... it depends on what you mean. Plenty of women complain about guys who won't commit. Females tend to choose when sex happens, because most guys are all for it most of the time, but as to whether there's an actual relationship? That's a two-way street and both people will choose. With dating it can feel like she has a higher bar because she's asking "is this my soulmate" and the guy is usually asking "will I have sex with her" and then see how it goes from there. So I think the guy approach gives less of a chance for some silly momentary thing from derailing the process on his end. Like she can seem stupid, he can give her a chance in order to have sex with her, but then he finds out she was just nervous and not stupid at all later. If the girl thinks the guy seems stupid, then that could just be one date and then gone. My uncle was one of those guys who chose. He dated a calvin klein model... too stupid but he enjoyed it for awhile. He dated all kinds of beautiful women and we all wondered if he would ever commit. He definitely didn't settle, when he finally married. He's an attractive guy, but I wouldn't call him very successful in terms of jobs. In dating, you'll see all kinds of approaches. For most people, it's really how you make them feel. Lots of beautiful women date guys who don't check boxes, but make them feel great overall, at least at first. So they can be funny, attractive, just interesting, and after she has sex with him she'll rationalize his flaws.
It isn't really satire is you're still saying "many" women are like this. Some are, but that has always been the case, and some men are (and also always have been) similarly fixed on finding a woman who will conform exactly to their image of a "perfect" wife. Most people don't meet long-term partners though the kind of blind dating you're scenario implies though (even today with the proliferation of "dating" apps). It's still more common to meet more organically, though mutual friends, common interests and the like. The obvious advantage of that is you get to know the person to an extent before even considering dating and so can already have something of and idea of your shared expectations and compatibility. Of course, that requires recognising members of the opposite sex as just normal human beings rather than some different species who can only be either "potential spouse" or "irrelevant", which is where people (mostly men) with the outlook expressed in your OP tend to fall flat.
Things have changed quite a bit over the past decades whereas [many] women bought into the feminist victimization meme and power shifted radically [institutionally] to the female side. The result of this power shift significantly tilted the playing field to favor women in almost every area of society, particularly in education and the law. The fact that many women began to view men as unnecessary has created enormous problems as social roles have shifted due to perception rather than reality. Women are more miserable than ever, even with their increase in professional status and incomes. They have attempted to overthrow a system that has been working for the benefit of something greater than themselves [the family] for many centuries. If they believe that the purpose of life is the continual enhancement of their personal lifestyle, then their misery will know no limits.
That's why I like the older ladies. The one I'm with now has no problem doing my laundry and making dinner and I have no problem doing the things that she needs done.
I question the assumption that women have changed as much as they're opinions are now heard. There are historical examples of women expressing opinions that would now be considered feminist (if only in records that were private at the time) and that is just among the tiny subset of women's voices that survive in historical records. There has certainly been a power shift in society over recent generations but the question of whether that has gone too far, in general or in specific examples, will very much depend on where you believe the balance should be. If you feel the role of women is exclusively at home as wife and mother, submissive to their husbands (and fathers before that), any level of recognition or power women gain in wider society would be considered too far. There are indeed individual examples of things going too far or overcompensating but that is typically the case when a pendulum has to swing so far to even approach the middle. That doesn't mean the swing itself is wrong. Do they though? Some loud voices may express (or be perceived to express) that view but there are some loud voices expressing the opposite extremes too. I don't think many women really feel that way but, as I said, to understand what women actually feel, you need to treat them as normal human beings and talk with them in a context other than one focused on seeking a relationship or sex. Does that apply to men as well, or do you believe that the sole purpose of women's lives is the continual enhancement of the personal lifestyle of "their" men? Why can't we all seek to enhance our lives and each others, individually or as couples, be that via work, family or any combination of the two that works best for each of us within our wider communities? Why does everything have to be divisive and competitive?
Where the balance should be is where things work. Historically, the most healthy and productive societies were ones that supported the family. Once family support breaks-down, your society goes down the drain [for obvious reasons]. Look at the de-population trends in the West and the politically inspired de-populazation China which is going to half their population by 2050-2070. China is facing a demographic crisis unknown in the world. Obviously there are women that have all kinds of opinions, so you have to look at trends. Many young men are afraid to date women [and I don't blame them]. Others simply want nothing to do with them. THIS should be an incredibly disturbing trend not to mention the psychological effect that the whole toxic masculinity non-sense has had on young men, as well. Imagine being told that being a strong, confident man [EXACTLY what women desire] is somehow toxic. Total bs. There are plenty of toxic men and women and always have been. Men have other issues but remember that the shift in power was from men to women. The discussion that needs to be had is what makes for a healthy male/female relationship and what exactly should be the priorities of society? Should the family take precedence as it has historically or is it more about continuing to support the millions of adult children who seemingly never want to grow-up?
I'd question that very simplistic view given how many different factors determine the strength of a society and so many different measures and priorities to consider. Regardless, I never said anything about not supporting "the family", I just challenged your singular assumptions about how a family should be structured and formed, and what people (men and women) want or need from their relationships as they form and develop. Many? There is certainly a noisy trend on the internet and in the media but I question how many people it actually encompasses in reality. I know of plenty of younger people who don't seem to suffer any of what you're describing and are doing perfectly well forming stable relationships. Nobody has been told being strong and confident is toxic. Demanding women are unquestionably weak and submissive can be toxic. It is the assumption that there is only one valid way to form and manage a relationship and anyone who can't or doesn't meet up to that is a failure can be toxic (and probably a more significant factor in the whole "incel" thing). Yes, and some women are using that shift to do some of the things men traditionally did (and still do). If it's selfish and a path to misery for women, why isn't it also for men? I don't think that dichotomy is real. The prorities of society is a plural so can be diverse and varied (they always are, good, bad or indifferent). There is no reason a society can't support multiple types of family, relationship and individuals, building on the different benefits of each towards better prosperity for all. Again, the divisiveness of declaring that there is only one right way to live and anyone who different is bad, wrong and dangerous is just as damaging to a society.
This is not the case. A successful society is one that has a healthy birth rate. Countries are much like corporations, either you are growing or dying. If the priority of your society is not the next generation, it's already circling the drain. It's not a matter of what's right, instead, it's about sustainability. Of course, most people only interested in their own micro-experience could care less about anything else.
