Tell me how to be pro-American.

OK. I'll give you a clue.

The sheep don't wear jewellery.

Does that help?

 

I have always found it quaintly tragic that Americans believe they should be held as the French, misguidedly, once thought they should be.



The French must be laughing their socks off.

 

The wingnut/conservative method of being pro-American is very easy;

1 - Believe, without question, what Faux Entertainment News, Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh say. These are conservative/republican authority "Approved Sources".

2 - Do not read. watch or listen to any news, articles or facts that run contrary to what conservative/republican authority and "Approved Sources" say.
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Sad fact, America, is that you are only as good as your last game.

Which, in your case, is Afghanistan.

 

And yet they smell similar, and have the same sexual appeal. I guess I can't bash you on your country's bestiality fetish, you really have no choice. I'm sorry dude.

 

After we have had our devious way with our sheep, we steal their jewellery and give it to our women.

 

You give your women sheep nuts?

 

Instructions: Replace "B**ch" with "Awryly"

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQV22nJLEAM"]YouTube - Southpark Kyles mom a bitch with lyrics[/ame]

 

You can come here and experience life in America. Then you will understand why Americans don't give a hoot what people in other countries think of us.

On the other hand, with your attitude, we may not let you in.

 

Those poor sheep just out to make a buck!

Anyway I'm revising my statement from whatever the hell it was earlier to drink lots of Draino and watch Fox or MSNBC. You need to make yourself retarded then pick a horse and ride it to the end. Critical thinking is best done by the people on the picture box/thing that yells in the car. They will tell you what to believe and it is your patriotic duty to support everything they tell you to support. If you think for yourself, you're anti-American.

EDIT:

Almost forgot you need to hate the other horse. They are destroying the nation.

 

As an American, indoctrinated with over 40 years of television and radio that Capitalism is good, adversarial acquisition is the norm, and the individual is greater than the society,
I wanted to say that I LOVE NEW ZEALAND.

However, because of the indoctrination, I cannot express myself any other way other than to ask Awryly this question: Is NZ for sale? and.. How much do you want to sell it for?.. and ... Can I steal it from you by creating some event in the USA which will convince Americans that terrorists reside in NZ and require the US military to invade it?

All the above, of course, predicated on the hypothetical notion that I am a member of the Bush family, and my good friend and former oil partner Osama B.L. is available for CIA instructions.

 

Of course we're for sale.

But the Chinese are out-bidding you with your own money.

 

Along with making American Flag toiletpaper and diapers, China is doing a great job of replenishing the Federal Reserve with the New one dollar bill:

http://peterkao.com/images/zero_dollar_bill_bush.gif

 

The Chinese understand how to make money out of patriotic crap.

 

Nobody really cares what you think, Awryly. Just promise that you will never visit the United States or any of its territories. We do have standards you know.

 

Since when?

Is that some sort of New Year's resolution or something?

 

Hopefully, you'll stay in Perth so you will never have to test them and be found wanting.

 

Of course you care what I think. Your care is splattered all over this board like Rorschach blobs.

It is apparently my job to interpret them.

Alas, I have had no success.

 

No answer? I see.

I'll take it as a New Year's resolution then. Let's hope you guys can stick with it.

 

OK, so.. the question is.. how to instruct a person to become a pro American? Well, one way is to call Barbara Bachmann, tell her that you are a New Zealander who opposes the Bush doctrine, which by (her?) definition, makes you a terrorist. After you make the call, wait until the Homeland Security sends Navy Seals to safely and silently escort you (in your sleep) to the Gitmo Caribbean Vacation Hotel. There, you will enjoy the renowned American interrogation hospitality of the staff and the water(boarding) instructors. Within a few weeks, or in many cases, just a few days, the newly installed chip in your brain will reorient your philosophical view toward a more Christian capitalist perspective, and your former NZ animosity towards the US will fade to oblivion, replaced with the American Dream.

 

Will the American Dream be wearing knickers?

 

I have to admit, americans have terrible taste in women! American women are the laziest, fatest, most self centered and selfish women on the planet.

 

It might very well be worth the shock therapy after all.

 

So this is the new American woman?

 

Funny thing is most of them can't even cook that and even if they did, they would tell you to go cook it yourself while sitting on the sofa with a gallon of ice cream watching american idol.