Customer to sales girl, I'm here for the crazy pant's half off sale.
Salesgirl, Yes I know....I can clearly see your nuts.
Yes! Turtles! All the way down!
Poor little thing. Hope it’s nothing bad.
“A flurry of bats” - OMG!
A grasshopper walked into a bar and asked for a beer.
The bartender then asked “ Do you know there’s a drink named after you?”
Will the virus get into North Korea and what will the mortality rate be?
The ABC in Australia has given a little nudge, not really a warning, that we should have medications, tinned food, pet food etc, for two weeks in...
A crazy guy went inside a police station and stole all the K-9 units' leashes. Police says they have no leads
I saw a guy at the flower store. He was trying to pick the perfect bouquet for his wife. He said “It’s crazy how much money you gotta spend on...
Yesterday I was at a Weight Watchers party but nobody mentioned obesity.
There were just too many elephants in the room.
I really haven’t recovered from hearing his Mamie Eisenhower joke.
My doctor said that I should stop mixing coffee and redbull
He’s just jealous that I can lock a drawer and still have time to throw the key inside
Pat Nixon’s real name was Thelma. Her father had always called her his “St. Patrick babe” because she was born on March 16. After his death, she...
What did the Velcro inventor’s grave say?
Do you dig graves?”
“Yeah, they’re alright.”
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
The judge asks her "First offender?"
She replies "No, first a...
Despite what Steve Bannon said?
Was a reply to a prior post- I mucked it up.
Mamie Eisenhower was a notorious penny-pincher who clipped coupons for White House staffers and wore $10 hats she ordered through the mail. She...
Beware of troughs and washing machines!
Smartie and Melania sitting in a tree.
Separate names with a comma.