Dear mother of God, I'm absolutely petrified

Discussion in 'Member Casual Chat' started by AmericanNationalist, Dec 5, 2017.

  1. AmericanNationalist

    AmericanNationalist Well-Known Member

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    Now, from most of my posts you probably take me as an aggressive, even arrogant poster who seems sure of himself. And I do take pride in that I feel I can back that up. But even the most intellectually aggressive, arrogant son of a B can feel fear, mortal fear. And though I may have rubbed people the wrong way and maybe I'm not deserving of it right now but I sure would like some emotional support.

    This whole problem started on the 24th of November. I was depressed over how easily my relationship with my GF(My first ever relationship) literally broke apart in a couple of months.(And that's a whole saga, for a whole another time. But let's just say I didn't know how to handle the situation at all, and for the first time I felt confused about what to do.) After a few months of repeating to myself what had happened and why, I decided to try and put my focus on my interior decorating plans. Particularly for my home. That had worked to sedate the pain temporarily.

    But in the early morning of the 24th, a woman was knocking on our door and that was unknowingly the beginning of this nightmare. She was in her 50's, slender and she appeared to be intoxicated(I'm not going to try and play psychic lol.)

    It turned out she was locked out from her home, and she needed a place to stay. Being the idiot I am, we invited her in the house and my grandmother went to sleep in the bedroom. Leaving me to deal with the other woman. At this point, she was going on and on about needing a place to sleep and I'm like "There's a couch, sleep on it." But she wouldn't listen.

    I thought I was passively listening, hoping to get her to sleep eventually. But because of my hearing loss, I leaned in closer and this is honestly where the mistakes began. It was at this point, my masculine voice kicked in: "Hey, girl in your house." And frankly, I didn't do near enough to get rid of it. That, and she was gently pulling my hair and calling me handsome.

    Now, I'll admit to a personal thing: I've always wanted to be told I'm loved, and lovable. I never believed it from my family. Not that they didn't, but rather the value isn't the same you know? If bullies from the outside tell you you're worthless, the people inside look 'bias'd to me. Of course they'd love AmericanNationalist, he's their son, brother, etc. But is that really true? Am I really lovable?

    I admit this: I would have been smitten for any woman who could have given me this. But back to the story and then my fears. So eventually she mentions how her clothes smell and things of that nature. And I offer to wash them(We have a washer and dryer.) as well as to turn on the bathtub for her.

    It turns out she has a skin condition that made her bleed, and I turned the water on too hot, so I had to be in the bathroom and help get the bath temperature just right. After finally getting most of her clothes washed, and after she was done her bath. She finally sat on the couch then she called me...and I had the stupidity of following her.

    Okay, and you can imagine everything that happened from there.(And yes, I wore a condom, but it broke.) We had tried to keep going(It ended up lasting I'd say anywhere from 25-30 minutes.) Largely because my hips and shoulders were so worn out, I couldn't even release lol. So yeah, I did it without ejacuation lol.

    So, a day later I learn that the girl was actually married and I'm like "Well, ****." And I was worried shitless over whether the guy would punch my lights out lol. But what would later happen, turns those worries into nothing.

    So around the 30th, my bottom started to irritate the living crap out of me. Which was annoying, but then it got to a point where my penis was also irritated. Flash forward a few days later, my neck feels on fire at times from the inside. And I can't ejacuate anymore, at all.

    And just an hour ago, I had a random case of diarrhea. Individually, some people might pass it off(like my grandmother.) Collectively, I'm freaking my **** out. How did I stupidly stumble into this situation? And how can I calm my mind from fearing the worst possible case scenarios?
     
  2. Hoosier8

    Hoosier8 Well-Known Member Donor

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    You thought with the branch office now it’s time to take it to a doctor.
     
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  3. Seth Bullock

    Seth Bullock Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Go to a doctor and get checked out - tomorrow.
     
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  4. AmericanNationalist

    AmericanNationalist Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, thing is with my CP I never really learned how to drive. It's always been my grandmother driving me. But I did finally convince her to take me to the ER tomorrow. I'm mentally prepared for the worst, and hoping for the best.
     
  5. Seth Bullock

    Seth Bullock Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Don't know what you've got, but I'm thinking you need some antibiotics.
     
  6. AmericanNationalist

    AmericanNationalist Well-Known Member

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    I'm really hoping it's one of those things that I can clear up with the antibiotics(I'd been spending far too much time since the 1st of December reading about this stuff more than I'd care to. I thought I'd been a decent, abled person. But then I let a combination of depression from losing a GF, and lust/curiosity get the better of me.)
     
  7. Seth Bullock

    Seth Bullock Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Well, you've let this thing develop long enough. Make sure you see a doctor tomorrow.
     
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  8. AmericanNationalist

    AmericanNationalist Well-Known Member

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    I'd like to thank you for your kind support. It really means a lot. I know we ended up agreeing on the threat posed by Kim Jong, and I think we might've agreed on other topics as well but they don't come to mind at the moment lol. I hope this all passes by uneventfully tomorrow, and I can share the good news and return to political topics and engaging there.
     
  9. Seth Bullock

    Seth Bullock Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    If it's something antibiotics can deal with, you should be feeling better soon once you start taking them. I hope that's the case, and you can chalk this up to experience.
     
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  10. AmericanNationalist

    AmericanNationalist Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, I'm not taking it that far ever again until A: We date for a few years lol, and B: Maybe, even up until marriage. I mean, I never really believed in that "holding it until marriage" deal, but now I'm such a strong believer in it lol.
     
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  11. CKW

    CKW Well-Known Member

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    Once you see the doctor and get this thing on a treatment plan you are going to feel 200% better, mentally and physically. Wish you the best.
     
  12. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Donor

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    Well it doesn't sound to me like you've contracted something from her which will be fatal, so all you can do is write it off as one monumental error of judgement. But to invite an unknown person into your house - and a drunken one t'boot? Wow that is beyond stupid!
     
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  13. AmericanNationalist

    AmericanNationalist Well-Known Member

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    I know, and this is one time I'm not going to defend myself lol. In fact, the more negative berates the better. It's because my grandmother had been inviting these neighbors into our house and at that point I was like "whatever" and gave up lol. Plus the worst case is if we did close the door and she'd keep knocking ROFL.
     
  14. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Donor

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    Of all the doors in the vicinity, AN, she knocked at yours. Word must be out on the streets how hospitable you are? lol Hope it works out for you - and let it be a lesson to you also?? [​IMG] lol
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2017
  15. AmericanNationalist

    AmericanNationalist Well-Known Member

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    Definitely a lesson lol. In so many regards lol. I didn't really know who to turn to, I didn't want to talk to my biological mother about it(We live apart.). I didn't want her to feel any shame and embarassment over her son. And well, I really summoned up the courage to talk about it here. Not that I think I'm one of the more popular ones here(probably, most definitely not) but I do have an inner circle of friends(such as you and Seth) and I was worried about what judgment would be passed on me as an individual.
     
  16. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Donor

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    I sense I'm probably a bit older than you, AN, and I've made worse mistakes than yours. The time to freak out is if you make the same mistake again - now that really is stupid! :oldman: :eyepopping: :mrgreen:
     
  17. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    You were vulnerable and you messed up. You aren't the first and you won't be the last guy to do so. It doesn't make you a bad person, merely human. Deal with the infection and move on with your life by learning from your mistake.

    On the positive side you had already broken up with your GF so she is not going to remember you as the guy who gave her an STD. ;)
     
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  18. AmericanNationalist

    AmericanNationalist Well-Known Member

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    That's just it: I never did get it on with the GF. She wanted me to do it(that's why she invited me to her room, duh lol) but I didn't catch the signals and she sent me out of the house as quickly as she invited me ROFL. After that, we mostly spoke on the phone(and by speak, I mean we had the most mundane, pointless arguments ever lol.). And she basically gave me the 'silent breakup' not too much later(late June of this year, the relationship really started in mid-April.) Yeah, that's how "long" it lasted and why I was crestfallen.

    Oh, and an update: My grandmother was convinced(after much convincing) that I could set up an appointment at Planned Parenthood for STD testing, this friday. Knowing that I have an appointment and that we'll figure this out, gives me renewed peace in mind. Unless something absurd health wise happens in 48 hours lol.
     
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  19. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Donor

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    :eekeyes: Blimey I've been married once or twice for less time than that! :mrgreen:
     
  20. AmericanNationalist

    AmericanNationalist Well-Known Member

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    So good news today, I went to Planned Parenthood and gave a Urine sample and took a HIV test. The HIV test came back negative, and the lady told me that they'd either call me in 7 days to follow up if they detect something in the Urine sample, or they won't and in that case everything else came back negative too.

    So far so good, I'll definitely know more in the next week but for now at least the worst case scenarios have been avoided.
     
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