Now, from most of my posts you probably take me as an aggressive, even arrogant poster who seems sure of himself. And I do take pride in that I feel I can back that up. But even the most intellectually aggressive, arrogant son of a B can feel fear, mortal fear. And though I may have rubbed people the wrong way and maybe I'm not deserving of it right now but I sure would like some emotional support. This whole problem started on the 24th of November. I was depressed over how easily my relationship with my GF(My first ever relationship) literally broke apart in a couple of months.(And that's a whole saga, for a whole another time. But let's just say I didn't know how to handle the situation at all, and for the first time I felt confused about what to do.) After a few months of repeating to myself what had happened and why, I decided to try and put my focus on my interior decorating plans. Particularly for my home. That had worked to sedate the pain temporarily. But in the early morning of the 24th, a woman was knocking on our door and that was unknowingly the beginning of this nightmare. She was in her 50's, slender and she appeared to be intoxicated(I'm not going to try and play psychic lol.) It turned out she was locked out from her home, and she needed a place to stay. Being the idiot I am, we invited her in the house and my grandmother went to sleep in the bedroom. Leaving me to deal with the other woman. At this point, she was going on and on about needing a place to sleep and I'm like "There's a couch, sleep on it." But she wouldn't listen. I thought I was passively listening, hoping to get her to sleep eventually. But because of my hearing loss, I leaned in closer and this is honestly where the mistakes began. It was at this point, my masculine voice kicked in: "Hey, girl in your house." And frankly, I didn't do near enough to get rid of it. That, and she was gently pulling my hair and calling me handsome. Now, I'll admit to a personal thing: I've always wanted to be told I'm loved, and lovable. I never believed it from my family. Not that they didn't, but rather the value isn't the same you know? If bullies from the outside tell you you're worthless, the people inside look 'bias'd to me. Of course they'd love AmericanNationalist, he's their son, brother, etc. But is that really true? Am I really lovable? I admit this: I would have been smitten for any woman who could have given me this. But back to the story and then my fears. So eventually she mentions how her clothes smell and things of that nature. And I offer to wash them(We have a washer and dryer.) as well as to turn on the bathtub for her. It turns out she has a skin condition that made her bleed, and I turned the water on too hot, so I had to be in the bathroom and help get the bath temperature just right. After finally getting most of her clothes washed, and after she was done her bath. She finally sat on the couch then she called me...and I had the stupidity of following her. Okay, and you can imagine everything that happened from there.(And yes, I wore a condom, but it broke.) We had tried to keep going(It ended up lasting I'd say anywhere from 25-30 minutes.) Largely because my hips and shoulders were so worn out, I couldn't even release lol. So yeah, I did it without ejacuation lol. So, a day later I learn that the girl was actually married and I'm like "Well, ****." And I was worried shitless over whether the guy would punch my lights out lol. But what would later happen, turns those worries into nothing. So around the 30th, my bottom started to irritate the living crap out of me. Which was annoying, but then it got to a point where my penis was also irritated. Flash forward a few days later, my neck feels on fire at times from the inside. And I can't ejacuate anymore, at all. And just an hour ago, I had a random case of diarrhea. Individually, some people might pass it off(like my grandmother.) Collectively, I'm freaking my **** out. How did I stupidly stumble into this situation? And how can I calm my mind from fearing the worst possible case scenarios?