The NYT takes a look at the mostly unsung important work of Moderators. Oh, and they're not always good at it.
I have always suspected that they danced naked around a dead tree stump at midnight sacrificing goldfish crackers to their vegan God on the night of the full moon. I am glad the NYT's has verified that.
Not at midnight - their Moms won't let them stay up that late. And those goldfish crackers hated freedom.
Fine, then the moderators stay up until 10 punishing the world until Zayn Malik reunites with One Direction, which could happen any given second of any given day based on the twitter trends of late.
Haha, you think we sacrifice goldfish crackers!? Hah! What deity would want goldfish crackers? Obviously we only sacrifice the finest food - white cheddar cheez-its.
Word on the street is that Zayn Malik is in queue to run for the GOP nomination. Goldfish Crackers are also considering tossing their hats in the ring.
I'd vote for Zayne Malik. At least when people are standing around DC screaming, I will know that it won't affect me in anyway no matter who wins. I think the Goldfish are waiting until 2020 because they want to focus on Marriage Equality for Koi while the iron is hot.
That would explain why they need so many donations, they have to buy the cheez its to sacrifice it to their vegan gods.
Why would I sacrifice my pet goldfish? He's great. Just sits there, in a bag with all his friends. Personally, it's slightly different for Canadian Mods. We dance around a maple tree, bathing in the syrup and praying to our almighty Gods, Moose and Squirrel. All Hail!!