How would you handle someone who has a suicide plan?

Hypothetically speaking, suppose you care about someone who is fed up with life, is only sticking around to fulfill an important obligation and plans to kill themself after the obligation is fulfilled. What would you do?

(Don't worry, this isn't about me, I'm far too curious about the future to ever kill myself!).

 

I've been there. One person did kill himself and the other -- assures me -- that he is simply waiting for certain conditions to be met. The first was my cousin and the second is my older brother. I mentally shrug and go on about my business. You can't monitor them from afar and you cannot stop a person determined to kill himself. At best you can help the survivors after the fact.

 

Have each person in their life explain to the person who wants to commit suicide how it would affect them if they were to do it.

 

I hate that answer... but thats about all I can come up with as well.

 

That would require telling people in their life about their plan. I don't think that is right.

 

Is it? Who does his suicide hurt more: him, or the people he leaves behind?

 

Thats difficult to determine.

Ftsoa, suppose this person has an untreatable emotional dissorder that will most likely prevent them from ever having a happy life. To what extent would you consider it 'right' to take actions that impose upon them to continue trying, given that further emotional suffering is the more likely result?

 

Does this person care about anyone in their lives?

 

This sort of was my Dad a law professor and a highly intellectual sort, except he was not 'fed up with life until after my mother died. He said his obligation to live, was over because he had no one dependent on him any more. instead of arguing that point, I discussed depression as a serious mental disorder which, by definition - impacted judgement and perception as its major sympton, and asked him to promise to try at least one medical treatment plan or medicine for two months, in order to rule out the possibility his perception of reality was skewed. If there was no change in his perception, he had at least, done some diligence in the face of the potential. I was smart enough not to ask him to 'drug shop' until a drug 'worked' or to specifically mention counseling ( an absurd idea in my father's case). He promised to give my request serious thought and we heard no more. ( he did not seek treatment that I know of). He died of a stroke 8 years later, after enjoying several years with his grandchildren.

This may have worked with my Dad because it still allowed him complete control and autonomy, and provided clear parameters to the a compromise, but you have to tailor your approach to the person.. I don't think a lot of emotion-based dramatics are often the answer myself

 

Yes. But they perceive themself as more of a burden to anyone that isn't objectively directly dependent on them.

 

Maybe he could indirectly ask that person or persons how they would feel if something happened to him. He could even broach it in a way that he wanted to make sure they were ok in the event something unforeseen were to happen so as not to tip them off.

 

That seems like the appropriate response for what sounds like a mostly logic-driven person.

How would you appeal to an entirely emotion-driven person?

 

In this particular scenario, that would be akin to asking a teenage boy 'how would you feel if your mom died'?

 

Well if it's a kid I'd be asking him to think about how the hell they're going to get by without being there to guide them through life.

How they'll feel.....the things this person will miss in their lives....

Unless my death was a 100% certainty and I was in incredible pain, there is no way I would abandon my kids to suicide. I can't even fathom it.

 

Would your suggestions change at all if this person planning suicide was a single mother waiting until her children moved away?

 

I don't think so.

How are her kids going to feel if she's not there when they get married, or have a kid and need advice or help with the kid, or run into financial problems, or marital problems?

 

I would stress the cathartic nature of counseling. if this person is the sort to 'confide' or vent in you or others, the counseling may be appealing. If its not sold as an anti-suicide strategy but someone to give relief while waiting for the perfect time to kill themselves. You want to sell counseling as stress releaser, and and the counselor' can help with what to include in suicide note so its less painful Anything to get your friend through the door.

 

Counciling is a threat to this person. It stands to endanger, among other things, this persons chosen profession.

 

they are usually depressed in some way, they aren't gonna care about other's feelings for the most part...

just tell them to get it over with already cause you're tired of hearing them whine about it... harsh, perhaps some will think so, but i'm not into sugar-coating... just like those that say "she passed away", bs, my parents are dead, they died... sugar-coating is for the weak offended ? too bad, don't give a f**k...

 

Life is pain, effort and struggle. The dead don't suffer when the sod is thrown oe'r them.

 

Now you have me asking what profession could be seen as endangered by counseling? Regardless, If she needs to feel needed, then maybe a pet might fill the hole temporarily. If that is impossible, You are going to have to involve those children.

 

delete

 

What is an 'emotional disorder'?

Meantime, almost any low grade mental illness (depression, etc) can be cured by hard work, social obligation, exercise, and service. The four things most commonly lacking from the lives of the average depressed westerner. IOW, the lack is the cause .. therefore the provision is the cure.

 

Ride his/her arse like a nightmare shadow ... cracking a whip all the while. People sink to the depths when they are not answerable.

 

Mine wouldn't. She is going to destroy her kids.