Is it illegal to pay your wife for sex?

It's like the one, if you have to ask how much the Cadillac costs, you can't afford it....

Lol, just pissing about.

 

With my wife yes!

 

The OP is specifically about women who've lost interest. What's in it for them?

I have a friend who swears one BJ = a weekend away. She's independently wealthy, and has been happily married for 30 years. It's not a dollar exchange, it's a willingness exchange.

 

No, we didn't have joint accounts and there is no way my husband would dictate to me how I spent my money. The idea of asking permission is ludicrous. We had joint responsibility for all home and children's expenses. No pre nup.

 

He's having you on unless she is an exceptional woman.
And as I said before, love is the reason. If there's no love, then why stay married?

 

Of course. But there are also a reasonable number of women who don't. Hence HRT.

Marriage is a long term negotiation. Romanticism has it's place, but so does pragmatism.

I would question a man's commitment to the relationship if he'd give up simply because she's in a different sexual place. That's like dumping someone because they don't cook your favourite steak anymore. The couple who finds a way to negotiate survival shows more steel.

 

And, who does she spend that weekend with? (Just a joke)

 

Are you married?

 

Yes I accept all of what you're saying... but money Crank?? By all means take her out to dinner, take her away for the weekend but not with the understanding that if you don't you're not getting any.

It's a transaction, as far as I'm concerned has no place within a marriage.

 

That's the trade in her relationship. I'm sure others have to 'work' harder, some - possibly less. And she does love her husband, obviously. She's been married for 30 years for FS.

 

Just on that last (my bold), this reads like something a 14 year old girl would say/think.

 

Yep, still.

 

Agree the money idea is a little .. uncomfy. But I admire the pragmatism that these couples show in negotiating the hard times in a marriage. They'll survive, while others don't.

 

That's not obvious. 30 years living together does not mean it is because of love. Some loveless marriages last a very long time . Eg because of religious beliefs(easiest sample)

 

Long time? Many kids? Mortgages? Just curious to know how you navigate the various impediments to 'independent finances'.

 

Two kids, 37 years, no mortgage now. Joint responsibility for family expenses.

 

Yes I concede, I've heard of couples who brought others into their relationship to revive their sex life... so "to each his own"

 

I'd have thought it was obvious that I don't mix with religious types. Obviously not.

Meantime, it's probably in your own future interests to consider how people exist in marriage when/if the romantic and sexual elements fade. Because love doesn't come in only that flavour. Companionship can be very rewarding and beautiful.

 

Very interesting. You've been lucky and/or clever. Of the perhaps dozen 'independent finances' relationships I know/have known, not one has survived.

 

That's a whole other kettle of stink. Not the subject here.

 

wouldnt love have to be part of that deal? I believe romantic love can become companionate love

 

We discussed it all beforehand. It's an optimistic woman who hands over control of her income.

 

So far as I know, every state recognizes spousal privilege, so the fine point of law is don't let your hooker wife testify against you at your trial by invoking your statutory right against it.

 

If you are paying your wife for sex, then that marriage is over.