Is this Sexual Assault?

Discussion in 'Opinion POLLS' started by CCitizen, Feb 6, 2022.

?

Is Bob guilty.

  1. Yes -- Rape.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. Yes -- Sexual Assault.

    3 vote(s)
    15.0%
  3. No.

    17 vote(s)
    85.0%
  1. wgabrie

    wgabrie Well-Known Member Donor

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    Yes, this is sexual assault. If this were a business instead of a marriage Bob would be facing disciplinary action. Since this was a marriage and thousands of people on Reddit are reportedly in the same situation every year it just goes to show that it's common and no one is going to do anything about it and rock the boat.

    But, Bob might have another thing coming. I have heard that sexless marriages are on the rise. The grass might not be greener on the other side of the fence.
     
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  2. yabberefugee

    yabberefugee Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    What you said!
     
  3. cristiansoldier

    cristiansoldier Well-Known Member

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    I really don't know what the legal ramifications are since I am not versed in law. In my mind if the wife does not want sex and the husband is threatening to leave her it is definitely a form of coercion. Especially given her situation.

    Regardless of the law all I can say for sure is it is definitely a dick move. I could never imagine myself threatening my wife with divorce in order to coerce her into sex. Especially when you know she is in such a vulnerable situation after her illness. I mean how much pleasure can he get when he knows his wife does not want to be doing it and does not enjoy it. Does she have to pretend to enjoy it or does she just lay there for him?
     
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  4. modernpaladin

    modernpaladin Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    why cant she divorce him?
     
  5. Dirty Rotten Imbecile

    Dirty Rotten Imbecile Well-Known Member

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    I think that all depends on the couple. Some people are going to have a connection that doesn’t require that much sex and others are. Some are going to place the needs of other family members first or will not want to face life alone financially, socially or emotionally.

    I agree though that giving up due to lack of sex would be among the more shallow reasons to end a marriage
     
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  6. modernpaladin

    modernpaladin Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Consider if Bob had simply divorced Alice without first telling her why he was unhappy with the relationship. Would it have been better to deprive her of that option?

    Seems to me a sexual relationship is implied in marriage (unless specificed otherwise beforehand). Does anyone believe Bob would have married Alice had it stated in the marriage contract 'permanant celibacy will later be imposed'? He would not have.

    I would consider it part of my duty as a husband to sexually satisfy my wife, just as much as I would consider it my duty to go out for annoying 'date nights' or talk to her about her boring day. Marriage requires sacrifices, and both people have to make the relationship 'worth it' for the other person to stick around, or they shouldnt be together.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2022
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  7. Kranes56

    Kranes56 Banned

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    Presumably she still loves him.
     
  8. Injeun

    Injeun Well-Known Member

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    As the story is written, it is sad. But I suspect there is more to it than a dearth of sexual intimacy. A Wife is far more and much other than a mannequin or high performance tool. Likewise a Husband. They need to talk, really talk, and analyze their deeper issues. Or seek a counselor who is skilled at asking the right questions. For now, it isn't assault. It is a compromise. But the deeper issue remains unaddressed, and will likely surface at a later time.
     
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  9. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    Being a caretaker and also working full time is a big sacrifice. Many people are unwilling to sacrifice everything.
     
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  10. cristiansoldier

    cristiansoldier Well-Known Member

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    I agree but they are two unrelated issues. My wife cares for an elderly parent and works full time so I know the sacrifice she and the rest of the family makes and we try to support her 100%. I can understand that some people may realize they are not willing to sacrifice so much but IMO that is not an excuse to coerce your wife into doing something she does not want to do. If the illness has caused her to lose interest in sex maybe it is better to try counseling or seek medical advice. The professionals can tell you if it is common with her type of illness and maybe give a prognosis on when things may return to normal.

    Sex is more than just the act itself. There is an emotional connection. If he knows the wife wants no part of it why does he still want sex with her? You said Bob threaten to divorce his wife if she does not have sex with him. Would he divorce her if she doesn't pretend to enjoy it too?
     
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  11. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    I am not sure what to say. Would Bob divorcing his wife be worse then hinting (not explicitly threatening!) to divorce her due to lack of intimacy?
     
  12. cristiansoldier

    cristiansoldier Well-Known Member

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    What you are saying is Bob will not divorce Alice if she is intimate with him. Is key point for you that Bob and Alice are married? If Bob was the employer and Alice was the employee I am sure we would all agree that it is not ok and probably criminal for him to hint to Alice that he would fire her if they did not have sex even if he was planning on firing her anyways. The only thing different is you are saying I plan on divorcing / firing you anyways but if you have sex with me I will change my mind?

    As I said earlier, I do not know if this is sexual assault, but I stand by my original post that it is a dick move on Bob's part.

    BTW You never answer any of my question regarding Bob's demands. Does Bob need her to enjoy their sex too or is he ok just with her being there.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2022
  13. James California

    James California Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    ~ Not sexual assault. However Alice should toss Bob out on his arse and sue for divorce due to mental duress.

    { If Bob is in California he is F'-ed }


    :applause:~ Best viewpoint in the thread .

     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2022
  14. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    The law is the law. Perhaps in many jurisdictions, the only options a man would have is either to sacrifice everything with nothing in return or to divorce his wife outright. I do not know, but many women divorced in such situation may in fact be greatly hurt by the laws designed to protect them.

    Some men leave wives who are ill. Here.

    Many women would divorce their husband if he lost his job. Here.
     
  15. cristiansoldier

    cristiansoldier Well-Known Member

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    When you say "with nothing in return" you kind of imply the only thing Alice has to offer Bob is sex. What a husband can't think of anything his wife brings to the marriage other than be a vessel to ejaculate into to they are probably better off to get a divorce.
     
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  16. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    I do not mean that. She can not earn. He has to perform most work around the house.

    I guess, if he is not ready to sacrifice all his energy, he should file for divorce.
     
  17. cristiansoldier

    cristiansoldier Well-Known Member

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    Can she no longer keep him company? Talk to him, comfort him, be there for him to confide in. Can they not engage in other activities? Watch TV or movies, play games, go for walks, have conversations? Is her only value to him as a vessel for sex?
     
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  18. cristiansoldier

    cristiansoldier Well-Known Member

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    Also I do not understand your point about him having to do all of the work around the house and go out to do his job. If he gets a divorce wouldn't he still have to work and keep his new home clean and running?
     
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  19. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    There are several tens or thousands of couples like this in USA alone.

    Many men would in fact sacrifice everything for their wives.

    Some men would not be willing to work full time and do most household work if their relationship lacks intimacy. I guess in this case, divorce may be the only option.
     
  20. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    In that case, he will have less household work and likely he will find a new partner.
     
  21. cristiansoldier

    cristiansoldier Well-Known Member

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    I can only imagine that new relationship. Imagine the date when the new woman inevitably ask "why did you and you last wife get a divorce"? If Bob says "it was because she got very ill and lost interest in sex. I gave her the option of having sex with me or I would divorce her". I can imagine the woman that would stay around after that. Or he could lie and make up an excuse and start his new relationship with a deception. Destined for another strong, healthy marriage.
     
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  22. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    Many people would also condemn him if he remained married, helped her in every way and had relationships on the side. In many jurisdictions, Escort Service is legal.

    Perhaps people who are trying to help her would make divorce inevitable.
     
  23. The annoying thing

    The annoying thing Banned

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    No it is not as she willing continued to have sex, women and men both can develop a lack of interest in sex.But ofen the partner will contuine to have sex even if they dont desire it.
    Now I have a example for you . Not sure if Im lucky or not but my woman has been married before and cheated on. She has made in plain she dont share her man and she dont like other women , She has also made it plain if I want she will have sex 3 times a day with me to keep me happy.. Now We dont normally and often go a long period with out sex . She enjoys sex but is willing to do it up to 3 times a day to keep me satisfied if needed . Our relationship is not based on sex but mutual care for each other .
    I will say this under the circumstances Bob isnt being loving but selfish and should take her needs into account expectantly considering she is sick. thats love. And she can still please him or help please him without intercourse . Love is a give and take relationship , sometimes you give sometimes you take as much as my woman likes sex if she said no then it means no our relationship is not based on sex
     
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  24. The annoying thing

    The annoying thing Banned

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    great post
     
  25. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    No one would condemn him if he stuck around and DIDN'T indulge himself on the side. He would instead, be considered a solid man.
     

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