Kris P. Bacon's alternative introduction page

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Kris P. Bacon, Jun 18, 2022.

  1. Kris P. Bacon

    Kris P. Bacon Newly Registered

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    Live from the New Member Introductions thread

    [​IMG]
    Motto: Out of the frying pan into a sandwich

    Political leanings
    Conservative socialist with anarchist tendencies.

    Dislikes
    E-Scooters, rap 'music' and white men with weird haircuts and trousers down to their knees pretending they’re gangstas from a black American ghetto. Yo bro innit.

    Supports
    Fossil fuels and the internal combustion engine. Describing Trump and his family as a crime syndicate. Stormy Daniels for POTUS 2024. Regime change in the US.

    Published Author
    Why Carrots don’t grow on trees and other liberal beliefs.

    Kris P. Bacon Quotes
    "Why staring at the 'F' key on a keyboard doesn’t produce climate change" -- Kris P. Bacon, SJW for Beginners, Frying Pan Productions, 2022.

    "Come unto me, all ye who are woke and I will give your indoctrinated heads a rest" – Kris P. Bacon, Book of Things 20:17.

    Claims to fame
    I was the Klingon Company cleaner who found the Captain’s log in the toilets aboard the Starship Enterprise after William Shatner.

    Testimonials
    "Don’t move your lips as if you’ve just escaped from a fish tank. Let the only-begotten son of Kris P. Bacon the elder fill that space between your ears. It’s what your head was made for" -- Donald Trump, Mar-a-Lago, 2022.

    "I wanted to be president for 20 years and nothing happened. Following the advice of Krispy I tried voting for Trump instead of myself in 2016 and he became president. Lawdy ain’t that sumthin!" -- Hillary Clinton, Washington DC.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2022
  2. UntilNextTime

    UntilNextTime Well-Known Member

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    Not a very flattering picture of you.

    An alternative belated welcome to you.
     
    MJ Davies likes this.

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