Man banned from every supermarket in Britain for masturbating in meat aisle

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by smevins, Dec 14, 2013.

  1. smevins

    smevins New Member

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    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...rbating-in-sainsburys-meat-aisle-9003511.html

    A man who was caught masturbating in the meat aisle of a Sainsbury's store has been banned from every supermarket in Britain - unless he is supervised by another adult.

    Eugenio Freitas, 49, was captured pleasuring himself through his trousers for 10 minutes on CCTV cameras.

    The married father of four went to the store in Newcastle-under-Lyme, Staffordshire “fully intending” to go shopping, but then became overwhelmed by his “excessive sexual drive”, a court heard.
    ............

    Oh my...:eekeyes:
     
  2. junius. fils

    junius. fils New Member

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    Doesn't that just beat all?

    Still, I suppose that isn't the wurst he could have done.

    I won't be surprised if this gets censored.

    BA-DA-BING!!!
     
  3. tecoyah

    tecoyah Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    We should invite him to the forum....it is said he is a Master of Debate.
     
  4. junius. fils

    junius. fils New Member

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    Do you think he could make the cut?
     
  5. everyman2013

    everyman2013 New Member

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    It's all Koegel's fault. Their "Serve the Curve" slogan can be quite inspiring.
    Enjoy!
     
  6. Wizard From Oz

    Wizard From Oz Banned at Members Request

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    I am not sure what the problem is - Dont cook books suggest beating the meat to tenderize it before use? ;)
     
  7. SpaceCricket79

    SpaceCricket79 New Member Past Donor

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  8. mikezila

    mikezila New Member

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    no one told him you have to pay for it before he beats his meat.
     
  9. Defengar

    Defengar New Member

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    A masterdebater?
     
  10. daddyofall

    daddyofall Active Member

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    hmmm, Eugenio Freitas, that's a portuguse name.....
     
  11. little voice

    little voice New Member

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    Reminds me of a guy who used to use warm liver In a hole in wood
    And came to school and told everybody about it
     
  12. Stuart Wolfe

    Stuart Wolfe Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    The guy is clearly a hands-on kinda poster.
     
  13. reallybigjohnson

    reallybigjohnson Banned

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    Someone should have told him that the butcher already tenderizes the meat. He doesn't need to beat his meat.
     
  14. hifijohn

    hifijohn New Member

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    well I guess if you have to beat your meat, the meat section of the store makes sense.
     
  15. BestViewedWithCable

    BestViewedWithCable Well-Known Member

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    Im sure leftys in England will be outraged by the denial of his civil rights, and theyll demand all super markets create a special meat section for cronic public masterbaters...
     

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