Mene: Numbered. The number of my loves was few but each brought me to heaven. A gentle spirit with a beautiful mind and an elegant body, now a yoga teacher imparting her inner magnificence to world. A sexy little creature, exciting, misanthropic and brimming with insight. A tortured soul with dozens of faces and personalities, introspective and poetic and now dead at 25. And two luminous spirits, hearts full of light and creative passion, producing beautiful artwork and enriching the lives around them with their resplendor. Tekel: Weighed. My heart has been weighed and found heavy with memories. When Michelle and I ran at 5 in the morning through the woods to the riverside, and I held her topless on a rock outcropping as we watched the sun rise. When Layo sang "can't bring me down" and danced up and down and I kissed her all over her face. When Michele undressed on the side of the lake and I penetrated her, and her skin had marks of pine needles when she stood up. When Lisbeth missed her meetings at work so that we could climb trees and jump over streams and play with the clouds. When Julia swam behind me and let me lean back into her and said "Let me be your ocean" and I asked if I could marry her and she said "Maybe," then swam away and came back and said, "I mean yes." Uparsin: Divided. I am divided among my loves and have given all of them pieces of me while retaining inside me their residue. It is said that people keep objects of their loved ones to keep a memory of them alive. I keep pieces of my loves - they live in me and I live in them, an interlocking hyperdimensional union that resembles the Holy Trinity and interconnectivity of Buddha and the Universe. And I in them, them in me, create a unity that is divided so that it can be reuinited; weighed so that it be rendered weightless; and numbered so that through it infinity can be achieved. The numbering, weighing, and dividing of my heart was done for the sake of achieving Heaven, that it could live through me and with my blood write its message - mene, mene, tekel, uparsin - upon the wall.