My first encounter with a Pronoun Warrior

Discussion in 'Political Opinions & Beliefs' started by crank, Nov 25, 2021.

  1. HonestJoe

    HonestJoe Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Well, if it was truly and unconditionally a situation where your friend declared that you should never refer to a non-binary by any given name at all but always use the abstract "they" in all contexts, your friend is an absolute idiot. That doesn't reflect in any way on anyone else though, since it is very much not to position of anyone person who actually had any kind of unconventional gender identity.

    Well I didn't say asking, I just said find out. In some contexts, asking might work perfectly well, in some the other person will naturally clarify the first time and that's what I use going forwards. My own real name has a similar long form I don't commonly use outside formal documents and that's how I handle it. The point is that nobody every feels especially uncomfortable (and certainly not angry) about any of this, nobody views anyone as narcissistic, it's just a normal part of human interaction that we all deal with every day, sometimes without even noticing.

    There is no reason questions of gender pronouns couldn't be handled in the same kind of way most of the time. A few people (including some transgender people) will make things more complicated (intentionally or not) but the vast majority of the time, it doesn't need to be anything more difficult that coming to know and using someone's preferred common name.

    Doesn't that work both ways though? Shouldn't you put in a least a little effort to put other people at ease by understanding and using the names and terms that put them at ease?
     
  2. joesnagg

    joesnagg Banned

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    Sometimes apples CAN fall far from the tree. :)
     
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  3. Aleksander Ulyanov

    Aleksander Ulyanov Well-Known Member

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    Try the Prince solution. Refer to them as "the non-binary formerly known as ******* ". It's cumbersome but clear, which is often necessary.

    Or simple don't talk about them at all.

    I have a TV crush on the one on "Billions". I'm not a homo or bi but I find it very attractive

    People are entitled to whatever name or referent they want
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2021
  4. Surfer Joe

    Surfer Joe Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    And yet you felt the need to start a thread to complain about it.
     
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  5. Curious Always

    Curious Always Well-Known Member Donor

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    SNL predicted this nonsense in 1990.

    [​IMG]
     
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  6. Maquiscat

    Maquiscat Well-Known Member

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    SNL and Laugh In were always ahead of their time. Simpsons to a point were also.
     
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  7. Adfundum

    Adfundum Moderator Staff Member Donor

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    Steven Pinker pointed out that the "prescriptive" kind of grammar that was common over the past centuries is based in part on a need for a certain amount of specificity in areas such as science, medicine, and law. He separated that from common usage, as did most of the academics going way back.

    Of course, the main point is that common language is in a constant state of change. There was another thread about this not long ago, and I mentioned that words are only noises or sounds we make. Their meanings are only what we generally agree they are, and they quite often change over time. It's odd that I can't refer to those thin branches that are always falling off my birch tree as fagots, even though that's what they are.

    In that other thread, I also mentioned that my daughter-in-law decided she was non-binary and informed us that we weren't supposed to refer to her as her, she, or any label that was gendered. I really don't understand why being gendered is such a problem for some. That's never been explained to me in a rational way, and for the most part, I have no problem if someone makes such a choice. I feel it's not my business, and I would never challenge her on that. But I did take offense to being informed that I'd have to change the way I've spoken all my life. In the same way that she and others insist we not use gendered language (because they have decided to be offended by it), I insist that those Neo-Prescriptivists not tell me how to speak. :)

    If so, then I reserve the right to require them to not refer to me with certain words.
    Do not refer to me as 'you'. As spoken, it sounds like ewe, and I resent being referred to as a sheep. And a gendered one at that.
    Do not refer to me as 'they'. I'm offended by the suggestion that I have multiple personalities.
    Do not refer to me as 'dude'. I'm not a pretentious socialite, nor am I a Jeff Bridges in a bowling alley type.
    Do not refer to me as 'old'. I'm 'aged'. But I would make an exception if it's used like "Old Man" in the Addams Family.
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2021
  8. garyd

    garyd Well-Known Member

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    The singular usage of they is used in similar circumstances to the 'royal' we. So unless the person question is the bloody queen of England, talking of some other monarchy she is misusing it. If she is as appears likely is using 'they' in reference to herself she is either just trying to be a damn pain in the ass, or she didn't 3rd grade english. I'll let you decide which one.
     
  9. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    1) It truly and unconditionally was a situation where my friend declared that THIS particular non-binary, in THIS instance, ought not be addressed by name. I can't speak for the background thoughts.

    2) Yes, there is. It's not something we can know beyond what our eyes and ears tell us, and it's not something we should be asking without both a) making the person in question uncomfortable, and b) making ourselves seem like obsequious approval-seekers. The end result of which makes the whole thing more about you than them.

    3) No, for the above reason. Healthy people don't want a fuss made, and don't want to be subjected to 'intimate interrogation' from random strangers or people they've just met. And in return healthy people seek to make the other comfortable when needing to ask questions, but they don't do it in such an invasive way. If you have to make small talk, ask questions about their externals, not their essential being. Once again, this is about mentally healthy adults. If you're dealing with a narcissist, any attempt to deviate away from their essential being will probably be viewed as some kind of invalidation and affront. Pro tip: stay away from narcissists.
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2021
  10. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    Unfortunately the woke will now likely invade him like a rapidly metastasising cancer. If the girl he still pines for is now a They Is, he's going to at least have to pretend. Eventually it'll feel like truth.
     
  11. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    I started a thread to point out a FUSS BEING MADE.

    Only you know how you read that in reverse.
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2021
  12. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    It's the former. She's educated and articulate.

    Another surprising thing about this sh!tty behaviour, is the dictatorial nature of it. It's handed 'down' as per a stern school ma'am to a small child. Incredible to watch. You see a mature adult lose every scrap of dignity - in real time, within the space of 60 seconds. There's a part of you which wants to feel terribly bad for them, but another part thanks them for their willingness to take such a fall.
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2021
  13. garyd

    garyd Well-Known Member

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    well more like a Chinese reeducation camp but whatever.
     
  14. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    Which is not something anyone with an ounce of civility is going to introduce at the dinner table unless it's in jest.
     
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