My Second Life and other Secrets

You take some very sick turns. Yes 21 is the line. And when I said reckless abandon, I was talking about my feelings. Did you not understand that? Given all that I have said about Number One, how could you possibly not understand that?And I made it clear in my post but you twisted that into something sick as well.

Your posts appear to me to be classic passive aggressive. Or do you have a thing for little girls?

 

no i am a christian and obey the law of the land

sorry i misunderstood your post, that is why i included the song with lyrics to help convey what i thought you meant by 'reckless abandoned love'

would you listen to the song and watch the music video so that you may know there is no passive aggression, thanks.

 

I am not quite sure if jumping from girl to girl is a reasonable thing to do if you wish to fall in love. Even less so if your expectation is heartbreak.

 

My new sb and I have had 3 full nights together now. After our second night, with no previous discussion she sent me a shopping list for the sex shop. LOL. Holy crap! This girl wants to play. It set me back a bit but my basic rule is, "whatever the lady wants". So I sought to oblige as I always. We had our first date since, last night. Damn! Great night!!!

She really liked everything I got. But she liked her new collar and leash so much that she went to sleep with them on.

PS. Just the collar was $70.

I was telling Number One about my shopping list and she was cracking up. "Damn, the girl moves fast!" she replied.

 

FYI, and honestly I wondered where this would go, she didn't want to do anything crazy. It was more about mood. Clearly the collar and leash made her feel sexy and hot, and subordinate.

I commented the last time we got together, that I've often been surprised at how nasty young women can be. She immediately replied emphatically, "YES!". LOL! When I was a young guy, I had no idea. And my wife didn't really have much of a sex drive. So this has all been news to me. Never once have I asked a woman to engage in a fantasy of mine. I didn't need to. Apparently my comfort level about sex makes them comfortable telling me what THEY want to do. They tell me about their fantasies and fetishes and what they want to try. All I have ever done is oblige to the best of my ability - always respectfully and with care.

I also suspect that because these are typically finite relationships by nature, because we don't have a long term future to risk, women are willing to share secrets and desires that they may not ever admit to a boyfriend or even a husband. They don't risk being judged and ruining a marriage or potential marriage.

On the flip side, I have also learned that you have to be careful. I will never forget one poor guy at a relationships site who was devastated because play turned bad. As one friend once commented, there is a line and you never know where it might lie. If you go too far and cross that line, you can ruin the relationship. That is what happened to this poor guy. His wife had a rape fantasy. So they planned an evening where he would sneak up on her and pretend to rape her. It was her idea. It was her request. She talked him into it. When it was over, she was so disturbed by the experience that "she could never look at him the same way again", and she left him.

I had a close call with Number One, as well. She wanted to try candle play. You drip wax from candles on her, where the wax is just above body temperature when it hits. It was supposed to be sensual and soothing, something akin to a massage. But it made her feel weird. And it made a huge mess LOL! When we talked next, she was blaming me! She had decided that she didn't like it and it was my idea. I had to remind her that it was HER idea, not mine! "Oh yeah..." she replied with hesitation. Because she didn't like it, she needed someone to blame and had subconsciously made it my fault. She quickly remembered but if we hadn't talked about it, it would have been my fault in her mind forever.

That was a very revealing glimpse into the mind of a woman, for me. And it was a very close call. I almost lost her over that. She said so.

 

i suspect in our new patriarchal civilisation they will have fantasies of powerful older men.

thank you for allowing us to live vicariously through your amazing life, may we all have a little of what you're having.

 

She is a very kinky young lady. LOL! Every few weeks I receive a photo by text of another sex toy "we need". She sex store is making out pretty well on this. But she always brings all of her new toys and sexy wear on date nights. So I'm not complaining.

 

She is a strange one. I really don't know why it works but it does. And she has definitely gone above and beyond. She has come over and spent the night on a whim few times now. And one night I received a text saying she needs it and she needs it NOW. LOL. It was already something like 8 PM on a work night. But she jumped in her car and drove the 45 minutes to my place. We were up screwing around until 4 AM, which is the time I normally get up. She expects to be spoiled and she has a never-ending want list. I can hardly keep up. But she is more than generous about our time together. In a way she is the best sb I've ever had. In other ways she drives me nuts. But we do have that special chemistry that makes our time together special. It isn't love but we have a bond and we have fun.

She canceled on me tonight and it pissed me off. She is pretty flaky and unpredictable. I never know until the last minute if we really have a date or not. I was ready to start threatening to move on. But she did give me fair notice. And when I think about the big picture, she has actually been pretty awesome. She is 21 and SMOKING hot. She is beautiful and has a body to die for - the lady is built! She is kinky and likes to play. And she often tells me to have my way and just play with her for hours. I guess she's allowed to piss me off from time to time.

I guess I've had an epiphany of sorts. I'm seeing this in a way I never have before. I tend to get hung up on their reliability. I won't have women jerking me around no matter how hot they might be. But at times I have probably been too harsh. I ended one too soon for that reason and almost did the same thing this time. But she sent a very nice text in spite of the fact that I was pissed, and she won me over. I took a breath, thought things through, and decided I was being too inflexible. When I consider the big picture, she is worth it. I can't let her unpredictability alone be a deciding factor. Maybe I need to just count my blessings.

 

She says she's been careful. She has been mostly isolated as have I. I am at somewhat higher risk than the average person my age but hopefully not terribly so. No way to know for sure. But there is a chance that she is a carrier; I will get it from her, and I will die. If she wasn't freaked out about getting it I would be more concerned. But she is a little freaked out. So I'm assuming she has been very careful.

When I said she has a body to die for, I hope it was just a figure of speech. In the mean time, we have a new toy and it's gonna be a very long night.

There is also a chance that I've already had it and she was exposed through me over a month ago. I tend to think I already had it.

 

Wow, we had a heart to heart pillow talk and it seems that we are both developing feelings for each other. I am feeling it and so is she.

And it feels really good to hold her in my arms. To me that is the ultimate test. Does it feel like we belong together when we are intimate? Most definitely yes! In fact I'm feeling a bit more this morning. I'm feeling love.

 

She came over Friday around 8. As soon as she got here she removed all of her clothes. She didn't put anything back on until she left late Sat afternoon. LOL!

She is like a fart in a whirlwind. I never know where her mind is going next. But when she's sitting here naked it's hard to care.

 

With the pandemic, I am working from home indefinitely. That means my schedule is very flexible. Already she is asking when I want to get together again. Heh, tomorrow works! Damn, she really is exceedingly beautiful. Every now and then I look at her sitting here in all of her birthday glory, and feel like I have to slap myself back into reality. But this IS real. It took a over a year after I broke up with 14 before I found a great sb again, but sure enough, I did. I always start worrying that THIS time I won't find anyone. I won't find that special connection again with someone who is exceedingly hot. But eventually I always do.

The hard part is breaking up. I had to break up with three other women before I found her. For the most part I liked them all. But it wasn't special. There was no spark. It is hard to walk away when the woman is nice and trying to make it work. And I try to be really nice and considerate of how I end things. But I decided a long time ago that I won't settle. If there is no special spark, no thrill, no chemistry, I walk. And once again I'm glad I did. But it took over a year, three other women, and a half a dozen more bad coffee dates to get here. For each coffee date I probably talked with another 10 women or so. And for each contact, perhaps another ten that never responded. So I probably went through about 1000 profiles to find her.

 

Damn, she gets so horny LOL!. The night before she comes over she starts sending me videos of her doing things. She's coming over tomorrow and I just got two more. Grrrrrr. I just LUV her sex drive. She's coming over every weekend at this point and stays for about 24 hours. I really couldn't ask for more.

 

according to sigmund freud, people become more fertile and fruitful during the end of the world.

this helps the economy by spurring spending, and causes procreation to keep the pyramid scheme going.

the sugar baby enterprise fulfills the former, if not the latter. Godspeed

 

I am not an alpha male. Therefore ....

 

Alan Watts - how to see through the game - the secret to life :: happiness

 

in all my 60 years i've been searching for the meaning of life, and this helps a lot.

thanks for the post.

 

Her sense of humor cracks me up



This not her tweet, just the source of her joke.

 

Now she is asking if she can come over more than once a week. LOL! Gee, do ya think? She is flighty as hell and there is no end to the little dramas in her life. She is certainly all girl. And I never know for sure when she is coming and not. But all in all I like the direction things are going. Note that the amount of time we spend together has no bearing on the help I provide each month. It's not like she's asking for more money. She is coming over more because she wants to be here. That is the key test and ultimately the only way this can work. That could change tomorrow but it is true for now.

With a regular work schedule it is often tough to do more than one night a week. But with the quarantine it is not a problem.

We've been seeing each other for four months now. She is extremely beautiful and OMG, she has an amazing body. She sent me a photo one day that reminds me of an old pinup of Rachael Welch in her prime - from way back when I was just a little kid. I was trying to find it online and couldn't. But damn!

 

thank you for your positive post, it is great to see someone is doing incredibly well during these challenging times.

i am always in awe reading your experiences from this hobby.

 

There is an interesting psychological twist that I've noticed. This came up the other night with my current sb and it has come up before. I especially remember this coming up with Number One. After we've been together for awhile, once a woman really gets to know me and we settle into a regular dating life, THEY can't imagine ME with a woman my own age. I joked about it the other night and she recoiled at the thought as one would at the thought of catching their parents having sex. This is a twist on something I've known for a long time now - they begin to lose the awareness of our difference in age. They begin to think of me as being a peer. My current sb likes to tease me about being old. But at the same time, in her subconscious worldview, I belong with much younger women.

I am also aware of women going through a process of realization. Finally it hits them that being with an older man is really no different than being with a young man. There is no great thunder from the sky nor are there chains hanging from my ceiling. There are no big surprises. We just have a regular dating life and a regular sex life. I have seen when it really hits them for the first time. Sometimes they even seem a little disappointed. They had an expectation of fifty shades of gray or something LOL. Nope, just a passionate man looking for companionship.

 

according to sigmund freud this phenomenon could be explained by most of the world's rulers being senior citizens.

it is unnatural for 21 year old's to be attracted to the pheromones of people a decade or two older than them.

this was seen in the American romantic fantasy drama
Phenomenon (1996) - IMDb

 

Been trying to get a date with my favorite Bikini Barista for over a year. Smoking smoking smoking hot blonde. Very sweet. Drug free.

I happened to get a nasty bruise on my arm. She saw it and asked how that happened. I said a cop hit me with his baton at a protest march. And oh my, then I saw fire in her eyes. REALLY!!! She started to go off about something. I laughed and said I was just kidding. I did it at work.

She said I should have stuck with my cop story. DAMMIT!!!!

 

that appeared to be a strategy for picking up hippies in the 1960's protests, it still works today.

 

Gone for over five years now, I still think of Number One at least every day. And I still feel this in my heart. Every word is true.