About 30 years ago, Johnny Carson did a sketch where he named phrases you'll never actually hear. He said the least heard phrase in the English language was, "That's the banjo player's Porsche." Being that was 30 years ago, I thought about updating it for today. I think the least heard phrase today is: "The beloved rapper died peacefully in his sleep last night at the age of 92." Some others might be: "Ruth Bader Ginsburg set the world record ski jump today." "Jessie Smollett passed a lie detector test with flying colors." "My Waffle House credit card was rejected." "Black Lives Matter protestors were severely injured protecting a statue of Robert E. Lee." "The former Victoria Secret lingerie model picked up her fifth Oscar." "I'd like my Amazon Prime medium rare." "Jimmy Swaggert has officially given up preaching to become the next judge on the People's Court." "Here's Ilhan Omar modeling a string bikini by the House of Israel Design." "Lebron James kept his mouth shut today." "The late night talk show host admitted he knows nothing about politics." "Have you tried that great new Pizza Hut cabernet?" "Social distancing? What the **** does that mean?" "CNN endorses Donald Trump for President."
"Donald Trump says he should have done better." "The Meatloaf at the Frank-N-Furter place is to die for."
