I have noticed the following. The people whose parents were abusive but took care of them both love and hate their parents. Whereas the people whose parents left them simply hate them. My daughter does not suffer either abuse or neglect, and she loves both me and her mother very much. The best scenario is the parent taking care of the child while treating the child well. That way there is no reason for the child to hate the parent, and the child loves the parent, as is meant to be. I have rarely seen the level of antagonism that is found in children of parents who left them. There are some situations in which marriages or relationships should not continue; but parenting has to continue in all cases. So now I know a woman in Texas who has stayed with a man in order to take care of the child, even though the relationship is totally dead. Maybe she has pointers for people who are faced with similar dynamics. I once encountered a man who called himself a producer. He produced 8 children by 8 different women without taking care of them. This level of irresponsibility is staggering. Many people go on about women's promiscuity; but it takes two to tango. And when a man behaves in this way, it is moral condemnation not on woman but on man. If you have children: Remain in their lives, whether or not your relationships continue. You do not want to be subjected to the kind of hatred that I have seen in children whose parents abandoned them. It does get better. And the more benefit you accomplish, the better it gets.
