Should I feel respected or like a 60's chick in 'Mad Men' when the door is opend for me...

Discussion in 'Member Casual Chat' started by Sahba*, Feb 2, 2019.

  1. Sahba*

    Sahba* Newly Registered

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    Obviously if I'm in west Texas I should infer differently then on Wall Street. Apparently some of my friends hold some rather strong feelings on the matter, lol. I know where I stand (the former) but can imagine that it's a guessing game for some of the guys out there. Curious too as to the female opinions on the matter.
     
  2. ModCon

    ModCon Well-Known Member

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    South Texas here, I hold the door open for everyone - old ladies, tatted up vatos... eye contact and a nod, a quick hello. Everyone responds positivity as they should. It's one of the small things we can do to show respect for random people we encounter throughout the day.

    That said, any woman who's freaking out about that (unless a guy is just holding the door so he can check out the goods as she walks by), isn't being reasonable. They've bought into some nonsense new age feminism.
     
  3. Sahba*

    Sahba* Newly Registered

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    Lol, I guess U haven't had much exposure to the pink ***** hat crowds. I'm surprised that in S TX the 3rd & 4th wave feminist 'cultural warriors' haven't pervaded out from Austin & Huston... I'd definitely appreciate your holding the door for me if I run into you in TX, lol. :)
     
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  4. ModCon

    ModCon Well-Known Member

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    They're here, but not in droves. San Antonio is more pragmatic and traditional.
     
  5. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Donor

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    When they look like feminists behind me, I pretend I'm going to hold the door open then, with impeccable timing, I let it go to smack 'em in the face. Little things please little minds? :mrgreen:
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019
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  6. TexMexChef

    TexMexChef Well-Known Member

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    Opening the door for a person is an act of manners...not subversion or subjugation.

    As people are headed towards a door...a group forms. There is nothing wrong in a person opening the door for the group or single male, or single female ...or any combination there of.

    Same as leaving a building.


    If a person feels odd about having the door opened for them should practice standing by a door and opening it for others.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019
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  7. modernpaladin

    modernpaladin Well-Known Member

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    Ive never had anyone display discomfort at my having held the door for them (I do it for anyone).

    Women and older men always thank me. Younger guys will sometimes just nod, and kids are usually oblivious.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019
  8. Gwendoline

    Gwendoline Well-Known Member

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    It's just a door. I wouldn't read too much into it - apart from someone being kind and having good manners.

    Yay to courtesy.
     
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  9. Gwendoline

    Gwendoline Well-Known Member

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    I hold the door open to everyone, even to immature men.
     
  10. Gorgeous George

    Gorgeous George Active Member

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    thank you.
     
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  11. ocean515

    ocean515 Well-Known Member Donor

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    Ditto.

    Interesting observation. While in Japan, I continued with this Western show of respect. I was pulled aside by an associate and told they don't do the door thing in Japan. Not because of lack of courtesy, but for practicality. Too many people coming and going, you'd never make it on an elevator, train, or into a building....
     
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  12. Crownline

    Crownline Well-Known Member

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    I hold the door open for women and if they have an issue with it then they have issues. the sooner we can get that cat out of the bag the better.
     
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  13. politicalcenter

    politicalcenter Well-Known Member

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    Holding a door open for someone is not politics. It is in no way a political statement. ...in the south manners count. Like yes mam and yes sir. No mam and no sir. We also smile at children.
     
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  14. ModCon

    ModCon Well-Known Member

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    One of the greatest culture shocks I've experienced was moving from a western state to a southern state in my early teens. There was a noticable difference in the general amount of respect and courtesy. Plus funny random things, like a waitress asking me "what kind of coke would you like with that?"
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019
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  15. Hoosier8

    Hoosier8 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I was raised in Texas in the late 50's early 60's and was taught manners so I still hold open doors for the ladies and if in line at the same time let them before me and they always appreciate it.

    I was taught to say 'yes Mam' and 'yes Sir'. After moving north I did make the mistake of saying to someone 'yes mam' and boy I got an earful.
     
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  16. Sahba*

    Sahba* Newly Registered

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    I'll 2nd that ModCon... I am accustomed to the 'brassy' stiffness of corporate E & W coast metro; dots of the 'darkest blue'. But then spend periods of time in rural America. Hens the OP, my girl friends in da 'dark blue' are so thin skinned that it makes my head spin, lol.
     
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  17. saveliberty

    saveliberty Well-Known Member

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    Strange how people are baffled by the amount of incivility in current society, when they condemn past civility.
     
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  18. Sahba*

    Sahba* Newly Registered

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    Gotta luv the dripping with sanctimony - Snark... :)
     
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  19. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    Unfortunately, it is actually the above (my bold) more often than decent men probably realise. And it's forced interaction .. which is deeply inappropriate when sex is the driver or motive. To top it off, since it's a forced interaction, it's favoured by the types of men who have difficulty securing voluntary interactions, and don't care that it's forced upon women. Creeps, IOW. Sadly, there are a lot creeps out there, always on the look out for these kinds of forced interactions in public places.

    When decent, non-creepy men open doors for women, they make it very plain that it's not about 'flirting' by limiting eye contact and going on their way before anyone feels uncomfortable. In these cases, it's always welcome.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019
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  20. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    'Hens'? What do chickens have to do with it?
     
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