The old and the ugly

Why is it almost always unattractive older men who sexually harass?

Why do we rarely (if ever) see attractive younger men doing it?

 

I'd like to see a photo line up of recently accused men, if anyone has the time or resources.

 

I don't think that's true at all...

I do think though, that as people get older, they get into a position of "power".

 

http://www.slate.com/blogs/better_l...s_are_under_40_we_shouldn_t_be_surprised.html
Survey Finds Many Harassers Are Under 40. We Shouldn’t Be Surprised.

 

They do it just as much but women aren't as creeped out about it.

They call it flirting when its younger men.

 

Are you asking for volunteers?

 

Bingo!

 

What does power have to do with regarding women as playthings?

 

Can't read link, but this is interesting. Anything on their looks? Are we talking young and ugly?

 

To provide a photo line up? yes.

 

Consent for the attractive and rejection for the ugly. But the ugly act any way.

 

There's your problem.

 

Interesting question since I've been noticing that too. I think it underscores the seriousness of the issue not being about sex per se, but power. Think it about...you aren't seeing broke ass men being accused of this, nor men who would qualify to be on the sexiest man list by tabloids either.

About 20 years ago I had agreed to drive a friend of mine that had been courted by several agencies because of a script that he wrote, and while waiting around for him in his meetings I observed the ebb and flow of people coming into the offices of the agency. You could clearly see who worked there and who was looking for representation. The actors with their glossy headshots looked like you would expect of any actor or model, but the people at the agency, by and large, regardless of position, all were in the plain to nerdy category, though well dressed in the latest fashion, they still stood out.

It dawned on me that in some bizarre way this was the flipside of the social dynamics most of us faced in high school; nerds and geeks on one hand, and the beautiful "in" people on the other. The beautiful people and athletes were the center of attention and the rest fell within a pecking order. Yet here in Hollywood, those nerds and geeks are now the power brokers that control the fate of those beautiful people. So it would not surprise me if many of those nerds and geeks still harbor high school hangups since obviously their social skills were honed a different way than those of the beautiful people.

We also seem to have in Western society an unspoken myth that money and power compensates for bad genes and poor social skills. Most of us grow out of those social angsts we developed in high school, especially when we see how the ravages of time and fortune take a toll on those that we looked up to in high school, but for others, it's a habit that has become ingrained.

 

I suspect that that only means something to men who are essentially dysfunctional. I don't think the majority of men (ugly or otherwise) equate money and power with some sort of right to women, because they know that the majority of women are not impressed by either. It's also worth noting that the sort of women who are impressed by money or power, are operating with some sort of deficit of their own.

Either way, much of this problem can be explained by men attempting to gain access to women who, 'in nature', they would have no access to. This is a result of not just dysfunction and stupidity (which it is always the result of in the proverbial wolf pack), but human culture giving the impression that nature can be usurped via sophistry - aka, money and power. It can't.

 

My problem?

 

Not just access...it changes the rules of the game.

I also don't think "good looking guys" get a pass, and only "ugly guys" harass people...that's just ridiculous.

 

It all depends on the environment.

In Los Angeles, and in particular, Tinsel Town, superficiality still holds true.

Need further proof that women don't still gravitate towards money and power? Sign up on any of the dating websites and see for yourself a large percentage of women wanting a man like that. The only thing that has changed from the 90's to now is the women have that money and power and are looking for a man equal to them in that respect.

 

I don't believe that actresses in general were "attracted" in any way to Weinstein...he was important to their careers because he was the head of a big and respected film company...of course you have to hang with people like that, etc...you can't make enemies out of people who give you opportunity career-wise...people like Weinstein use this to their advantage, obviously going wayyyyyyyyyyy over the line.

 

I think you misinterpreted my response to Crank with my original post above. Weinstein clearly fits into that category of nerd who never grew up and used his power selfishly.

 

Advances from young attractive men are far more often welcomed. I think this is commonly a matter of perception.

But not always. Im a man, so I dont really experience it first hand. Im sure theres also generational cultural differences. In the 50s women commonly tolerated being patted on the ass by strangers, for example. Today that is clearcut sexual assault- and should be (shouldve always been, imo). But while physical contact is no longer 'passe', the aggression (or assertiveness, maybe) behind it is still ingrained into the older generations that learned in that culture, and the saying about old dogs, new tricks is pretty accurate.

I do know that older women (like way older) are far more likely to tell me things like- 'you're so handsome' or 'you have such pretty eyes' etc. It may have something to do with not having much life left to live and basically not giving a F about social expectations anymore.

What I dont understand is why women get so upset by the advances of 'undesirable' men. Its like its an unreasonable burden that they would have to say 'not interested.'

 

Perhaps!

I just think the harassment game is a whole different game than the dating game. Some women may still be attracted to men with certain qualities dating-wise, but it has not much to do with their jobs or their bosses and colleagues.

 

Because you're wrong on both counts?

 

I always find that amusing. A woman who makes 100k a year isn't going to settle for some guy who makes 50k, even if he is an adonis. So that chick is going to take her usual tome-like list of things that she wants in a guy, and has to tack on an additional requirement of making at least as much money as she does. The guy who makes 100k a year isn't going to be looking for some chick who spends her days at the office. He's going to want a real wife who is at home taking care of the children.

He certainly isn't going to want a gold digger who can't even be a wife. He's going to find a younger and prettier girl who is perfectly happy being a wife.

 

Ask the women who act like playthings when flirting with men of power?

 

Are you having us on?

Your premise is ridiculous.