Time for men to walk away from women.

Discussion in 'Civil Rights' started by tkolter, Nov 13, 2017.

?

Is it time for men to disengage from women?

Poll closed Nov 20, 2017.
  1. Yes

    2 vote(s)
    22.2%
  2. No

    7 vote(s)
    77.8%
  1. tecoyah

    tecoyah Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Fine....I have been married twice before. My first was to a woman who became frigid and distant to the point of the marriage being in name only. I ended up leaving her for my second wife after several painful years...we had one child together. My second wife cheated on me after we had two children together which I only found out a year after she asked for a divorce and I delivered his child thinking it was mine.
    This was a very painful and brutal time in which I decided to return to my younger personality as a heavy metal singer and "Play" until that no longer held any appeal. I am a very attractive male with outgoing and captivating personality which leads to desired attachment I could not allow. Basically I decided to completely avoid the risk of hurting women and began to make extremely clear there would NEVER be anything between ANY woman I bedded beyond sex.
    I had created an online profile on Metrodate at one point and generally deleted all messages without reading but, for some reason (probably boredom) opened one about two years after joining. The second woman out of three was beautiful so I opened her profile and after reading about her sent a message.
    After weeks of email we decided to have coffee, I found her personality so compelling I took her to dinner. The next several months were a blur of infatuation for us both. Time went by and I fell in love with her so completely I asked her to be my wife even though both of us had sworn never to do so again.
    We have been together for over a decade.
     
    Buri likes this.
  2. Chester_Murphy

    Chester_Murphy Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    This was nothing like working through anything. It's about lust and infatuation and has little to do with love, faithfulness, trust and dedication. It's wildly trusting without proof or reason, but simply based in feelings. That's my reason for staying away. I've done that and been burned. Love is work. Trust is earned. Over time, it's possible to know someone well enough to almost guess what they will say or do, but only if they let us and are honest. At some point, all of life's growth has passed and what is left is end of life changes, seeing grand children, visiting children and family at holidays. Going to grandchildren's weddings and the occasional funeral for a friend or relative.

    When two have not lived through all of the days those children grew up, got married and had children of their own, it makes it more than difficult to be "one". Children hate you for being a replacement or getting in the way of their lives with their mother or father. They feel they can't trust you and you must earn it. Rightly so, it is a terrible strain on two who are older.

    You must be settled, have your retirement sewn up, you house paid off and your life in order, ready to enjoy a little before you can't any more. That isn't in the cards for me.

    I don't want to hurt or hurt anyone by having sex with them. Sex is a chemically bonding experience. It is supposed to be. If a person has had many partners, those bonding chemicals don't have as great a lasting effect, because they have learned to move on to the next person quickly and let them bond. It becomes a self-defeating process until you get tired of always being on the run.

    For those of us who did not do that, it just hurts really bad to have those bonds and then have them ripped from our lives. It doesn't hurt them as much for the reasons I mentioned. Oh, it still hurts, but not enough to cripple them for a few years. So, they can't understand and think you are odd. When, in reality, you are just as normal as anyone like yourself. They weren't like you, though they could not imagine anyone could be like who you said you are.

    That's a nice story and I hope it works out for you. Thanks for sharing.
     
  3. tecoyah

    tecoyah Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I wish you luck and you have my pity.

    Have A Nice Day:???:
     
  4. Llewellyn Moss

    Llewellyn Moss Well-Known Member

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    That is interesting. Is this your opinion, or is it from a survey...?
     
  5. Chester_Murphy

    Chester_Murphy Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    No need to feel pity. It is a choice and there is much more than my short explanation involved in my decision, not the least of which includes the topic of this thread.
     
  6. Chester_Murphy

    Chester_Murphy Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Those who can't tell there was some sarcasm there and a point to be made in being very careful and covering your arse have my sympathy.
     
  7. yiostheoy

    yiostheoy Well-Known Member

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    Do the math.

    Math is factual not opinion.
     
  8. Llewellyn Moss

    Llewellyn Moss Well-Known Member

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    It's Saturday night, I ain't doin' no math. :)
     
  9. yiostheoy

    yiostheoy Well-Known Member

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    The rest assured marriage is detrimental to your health and finances in more than half of all situations.
     
  10. Distraff

    Distraff Well-Known Member

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    I certainly agree that a healthy sex life is important in the majority of marriages but what I am pointing out is that there is a lot more to marriage than just sex. My wife provides me with companionship so I have someone to talk to and do things with when I come home from work. She is also really good at managing bills, paperwork and finances and gets this stuff off my back. Rather than just paying greedy golddiggers to have sex with you why not try to find yourself a meaningful relationship? If thats not really practical for you then I wish you the best with your sbs.
     
  11. dairyair

    dairyair Well-Known Member

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    Agreed. They don't mind getting beaten.
     
  12. Llewellyn Moss

    Llewellyn Moss Well-Known Member

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  13. vman12

    vman12 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Go give it a try, just make sure you have life insurance first.

    Conservative women don't pee on themselves in self defense.

    Nice knowing you.
     
  14. modernpaladin

    modernpaladin Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    While Ill grant you that hollywood romanticism is creating an unreasonable fantasy for most men to live up to (emotionally codependent men are simply not common, nor is a society made up of them going to be healthy), I dont think 'walking away' or 'sex bots' is the solution.

    We need to 'walk away' from this notion that emotional vulnerability is a desireable trait, and return to looking up to the stoics instead of the whiners.
     
  15. Mr_Truth

    Mr_Truth Well-Known Member

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    You mean reverse sexists like Ayn Rand and Ann Coulter?
     
  16. dairyair

    dairyair Well-Known Member

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    Nope, they do that on tWump.
     
  17. JohnConstantine

    JohnConstantine Active Member

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    With respect to the OP it's a pretty pointless contention. Essentially do what you want, it's not up to you what other people do.

    It's probably more interesting and worthwhile establishing why there might be a decline in things like marriage or stable families for example. And whether that:

    a) has a wider effect on society, particularly a negative one. The theory being that families with married parents tend to enjoy a whole host of positive outcomes relative to single parent households.

    and

    b) is a consequence of female behaviour. Or do we share in this failing?

    Just as an after thought...

    Personally in my experience I think women could do with lowering their expectations. And this is borne out in stat that women consider 80% of men below average attractiveness. I think that's probably the tip of a pathological iceberg which embodies female entitlement/princess complex.

    In the words of whoever did that skit on the Chronic 2001 'what happened to falling in love with any n*gga with a bus pass?'
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2018
  18. Chester_Murphy

    Chester_Murphy Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    It's men's fault, of course. This is long, but interesting. I don't know of it's veracity, but I think it's accurate as an interpretation of the data used at the time.

    https://www.catholiceducation.org/e...y-decline-the-findings-of-social-science.html

    Here's the site where his information originated, though I can't find the source he used.

    My opinion is not far from this, however, I formed it elsewhere an not via this report.

    Oops. sorry. I forgot to paste this. It's the source site, though I'm not sure if the article presented is the one used for the study in the above link.

    http://familyinamerica.org/

     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2018
  19. ibobbrob

    ibobbrob Well-Known Member

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    Ummmm, no.
     
  20. ibobbrob

    ibobbrob Well-Known Member

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    You need to study her face up close and you may discover that she does a lot with a little.
     
  21. JohnConstantine

    JohnConstantine Active Member

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    I certainly wouldn't be so sure...

    Here in the UK divorce initiation has been over 70 per cent on the side of women since 1980.

    The top basis for divorce isn't what most people think either. It's unreasonable behaviour.

    I think there's a stereotype that men are abandoning their responsibilities en mass. But the data here suggests it's more the case that men are being kicked to the curb en mass for whatever the woman, or the courts perhaps, consider unreasonable behaviour.

    And remember the stated goal for a lot of feminists was to destroy marriage and the family:

    "The nuclear family must be destroyed… Whatever its ultimate meaning, the break-up of families now is an objectively revolutionary process."

    Linda Gordon

    "Since marriage constitutes slavery for women, it is clear that the women’s movement must concentrate on attacking this institution. Freedom for women cannot be won without the abolition of marriage."

    Sheila Cronin, the leader of the feminist organisation NOW
     
  22. Chester_Murphy

    Chester_Murphy Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    ;Well, I do remember their stated goal concerning marriage and the nuclear family. I guess I always figured women wanted the right to choose how to live their lives and I've never really been against that.

    Isn't that exactly what men are saying? They just want the right to live how they want, with or without women in their everyday lives? Maybe I have the wrong impression.

    I think, if you take the time to read some of that, you will see how it's stated it's men's fault and then the explanation helps you to accept that and understand what they mean.
     
  23. JohnConstantine

    JohnConstantine Active Member

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    Sorry I don't think I'll read that whole thing. If you could point me to the bit where it blames men it would help. Just scanning it I'm not really getting that. The angle seems more to be around the negative impacts of divorce, the superiority of marriage over cohabitation, and benefits of marrying before cohabitation.

    The ultimate message I think is a no sex/cohabitation before marriage type deal. And this coupled with the injunction that once you're married you have a religious and a moral duty to avoid divorce wherever possible.

    From that position alone, it's difficult to at once condemn divorce and place the blame for divorce on men given that most divorces are initiated by women. The biblical verses which discuss divorce are pretty interesting. Firstly so far as I can tell it NEVER discusses whether a woman can divorce her husband, it is only mentioned vice versa. And pretty much every time divorce is forbidden and considered an act of adultery -- only permissible as the result of her sexual transgression

    So yeah you're right there was a more pious time when women were restricted from exercising divorce rights which probably did make marriage on some level an imprisonment. And this is what feminism looked to dismantle. To me there's a very clear correlation between divorce rates, legislative changes which made divorce easier (as a result of feminist and secular agitation), and the welfare state; which made single parent scenarios more viable. Those legislative changes cannot be ignored here.
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2018
  24. Chester_Murphy

    Chester_Murphy Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    That's correct. The part you want is only at the very top. It may be the title or just under it.

    Read the first sentence of each paragraph to see what it's about. If it was written well, you will find what you want. I think it was written fairly well.

    I think it's similar to this, but not the same. It's more about not getting married if you can't handle it. It's about knowing what you are getting into and not treating marriage as you would a stick of gum. It's about the problems caused by a one parent home.

    I don't know if the article talks like that. I don't think it does. I can't really address this issue. I don't know enough about the bible's prescriptions for divorce. Can you point me to where the article talks about this? I don't remember.

    I am sorry that you feel like women are slighted because you think the bible doesn't permit them to have affairs, yet it does permit men. I also thank you for being open, since this attitude is prevalent in society and could be part of the issue. It may also answer your question as to why women file for divorce more than men.

    They can't be ignored and are touched on in the article. (I think. Might be mistaken.)

    Please take the time to read the article in full, then come back and comment. Telling us you refuse to read it and then stating your opinions in a reply to my post, doesn't make your ideas better. It just shows your immaturity.

    My post was not meant to be open for debate. It was set down as a study done. If you want to debate, you need to write those who did the study and argue with them, telling them why their studies and conclusions are wrong.



    Piousness and restricting women's rights don't go hand in hand. It's only those who cannot understand and interpret the bible correctly and the precepts of the church, who tend to get these false notions. It's sad because women and children, according to the article, the studies done, and the learned researchers, are the ones who suffer. Men seem to suffer by proxy.
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2018
  25. Moriah

    Moriah Well-Known Member

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    The sex bots will not be able to fulfill your emotional needs. Emotional gratification is more important than sex. Just my opinion.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2018

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